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There are times whispering works, other times physical touch while talking is just what my kids need. Sometimes a firm voice or a warning really motivates, but my favorite new trick involves using no words at all. So do you want to know how I got my children to listen without ever saying a word? Instead of speaking my requests, I’ve taken to using gestures. And I have been amazed by my boy’s positive response. I have concluded that this silent method is effective  based on four reasons:

1. It’s new – like I said, it’s good to switch things up. Sometimes a little change is all they really need.

2. It’s like we have our own secret code. Little boys love the idea of anything mysterious & covert; it makes them feel like an undercover spy trying to distinguish the meaning of my nonverbal message. My oldest loves it, he claims our little signs make him bilingual in English & sign language.

3. Once they’ve physically laid eyes on you they can’t deny seeing your instructions (they can’t use that oh-so-common excuse, “I didn’t hear you.”).

4. They feel involved. Some signs were easy to come up with & more-or-less universal. Others took teamwork to create & identify. I let the boys come up with their own agreed upon signs for common requests at our house.

Some signs we’ve come to utilize in our home are:

1. Time’s up: I point to my wrist (like a watch)
2. Stop: I hold my hand up
3. Quiet/inside voice: fingers to my lips in a hush motion
4. Bedtime: I put my palms together & put them next to my head
5. 3-minutes/your time is almost up: I hold up three fingers
6. Brush you teeth: Mimic brushing my teeth
7. Chore time: I hold one hand palm up (like a table) & use the other hand to make a scrubbing motion
8. Homework time: Again, I hold one hand palm up like a table & I use the other hand to make a writing motion
9. Clean up time: I cup one hand palm up & use the other hand to mimic picking up things & dropping them in the first hand.
10. Get out the door/it’s time to leave: I literally shoo them with both hands toward the door
11. Chill/relax: I make a wave motion with my hand
12. We also have a few special signs of love & encouragement. These signs mean “I love you,” “Your doing a good job,” & “You can do it.” They are secret little motions I sign to the kids & they sign back when we are in busy places or far apart. It’s a sweet way to put some drops in our love buckets without anyone knowing.

I have noticed that since I began using physical gestures rather than words, my children watch me more. They are learning to utilize all their senses more. And they are a little more attentive. You can incorporate some of our family signs or come up with signals to meet your own parenting needs. Give it a try and soon you will get your children to listen without ever saying a word. The options are literally endless.

Learning how to really communicate with our children is a so important, but can be a difficult process! We’re here to help. Here are a few more ideas on how we can better connect with our kids:

Expressing Feelings through Chalkboard Speech Bubbles

Are you a builder or a bulldozer?

So You Think Swearing is Cute?

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