Dear Kid,
Enough already.
Although perhaps I should say ‘nuf—that might be more ‘propriate.
I’ve decided (I really don’t know why more people don’t consult me about these things) that there ought to be a standard College graduation test.
You heard me. In order to get The Degree, I think people should have to take a short, but important test.
I envision about 50 questions (some will Require written answers; some will require demos). Here’s a sample.
- Explain the difference between the words “then” and “than.”
- Describe why the words “its” and “it’s” are different.
- Is this sentence correct, “Me and Jane talked about it and we’re going to the mall.”?
- If not, fix it. [If you fix it by writing “Me and Jane talked about it and we’re going to the movies.” you will fail immediately.]
- What about this one: “Make sure to do you laundry before dinner.”
- Explain the difference between “itch” and “scratch.” Use each in a sentence.
- Demonstrate that you can sew a button.
- Demonstrate that you can prepare at least one reasonable meal from scratch.
- Swear that you will never describe a point as “mute” unless you cut out its tongue. And possibly your own.
You get the point (moot or otherwise). There ought to be a reasonable level of education required before people are allowed out in the world.
