Dear Kid,

Puppy: Scratch me.
Me: You’ll have to wait a few minutes.
Puppy: Scratch me.
Me: I’m busy. You’ll have to wait a few minutes.
Puppy: Scratch me!
Pi: What are you doing?
Me: Apparently, scratching the Puppy.
Puppy: It’s about time…

Me: Would you like breakfast?
Puppy: I’d like to play.
Me: You’d what?
Puppy: Play with me!
Me: You never pass up breakfast. You never pass up any kind of food.
Puppy: Time to mix things up a bit, don’t you think?
Me: I was thinking it’s time for breakfast.
Puppy: Throw the fuzzy pig and no one gets hurt!

Me: OK, OK, we’ll play for a few minutes before breakfast. Here, fetch the purple toy.
Puppy: I love the purple toy! I got it! I got it! Here you go! Throw something else.
Me: Fetch the squeaky donut.
Puppy: I love the squeaky donut! I got it! Throw something else.
Me: Now can we have breakfast?
Puppy: Throw. The. Toy!
Me: Fetch the grey rabbit.
Puppy: I love my rabbit! I love my rabbit! Got it!
Me: Well, bring it back, silly.
Puppy: Don’t be ridiculous. I have to chew it for a while.
Me: I’ll be in the kitchen if you decide to have breakfast.
Puppy: Breakfast? I love breakfast! Why have we been waiting so long?

Love, Mom

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