What is the Reason for Sudden Disconnects in Relationships?

[Toni Morrison’s Only Short Story, ‘Recitatif’]

Class Activity | Discussion Time

3rd April 2024 | II MA English

#todayinclass

What makes Toni Morrison’s only short story ‘Recitatif’ simply one of the best in the entire genre?

Well, this short story by Toni Morrison, titled, ‘Recitatif’ tells the story of two young girls, Twyla and Roberta. They both meet as roommates at a children's shelter called St. Bonny's. The story unfolds through a series of brief encounters that take place over several years.

One of the key aspects of the story is the deliberately intended ambiguity regarding the race of the two characters. 

The story hence raises questions about how race shapes our understanding and our perspective of ourselves and others, and how it can influence our relationships, resulting in disconnects and divisions in relationships. 

Reading Toni Morrison’s ‘Recitatif’ in class today, started a spontaneous discussion time in class, resulting in some very awe-inspiring ideas from the students.

What is the reason for sudden disconnects, divisions, dichotomies and differences in relationships?

Students spontaneously doubled up as psychiatrists and counsellors giving such spell-binding answers.

Giving below a few of them –

Beera – One of the main reasons for disconnects in relationships happens when we start comparing our partners or friends with others, and expect more from them, as a result of the comparison.

Brindha – Disconnects Happen because people lack the maturity to understand that people are different. 

Dhanavaishnavi – The main reason for disconnects in relationships is because, we don’t know ourselves. Also, we assume that we know them! We lack the consistency to love through all seasons of life. This is also because, we always think of what we can get from the relationship, rather than thinking of, what I can give to nurture the relationship.

Nishitha – Disconnects happen because of clash of opinions or perspectives.

Leela – I feel that, disconnects happen because of lack of understanding in any relationship.

Renee Mercy – A major reason for disconnects to happen in relationships is because of ‘lack of space’! When one is forced to adapt, or when they feel that their ability to think is restricted, then conflict arises, resulting in disconnects and schisms.

Shruthi Christian – A ‘time of growth’ is needed for a relationship to nurture and to grow together, before they enter into any commitment. When this ‘time of growth’ is not there, people in a relationship undergo a lot of misunderstandings resulting in disconnects.

Shruthi R – One reason for disconnects is the ‘ego clash!’ Their ego prevents them from thinking through the opponent’s perspective!

Teresa – An important reason for disconnects is the lack of communication, or miscommunication. False rumours are also an added reason for disconnects to happen.

Tirshatha – Expecting too much from the other person, is a major reason for disconnects to happen in relationships.

Vinaya – Taking the other person for granted is a major reason for disconnects to happen in relationships. They get involved emotionally, and then they play games with the hearts and minds of others. In such relationships, respect fades away over time, which eventually leads to disconnects in relationships.

Vivilia – Breaking trust and controlling others is a major reason for disconnects to happen in relationships.

Yasindhra – When we refuse to accept the other person for who they are, disconnects happen. Moreover, we try to expect more from them, and expect them to come to our level.

Anderlin – Was there a real connect between them in the first place? Because, if there had been a connect, based on 80% agreement, and 20% disagreement, then the disagreement can be transcended and the connect can be enhanced. However, if the disagreements are 80% and the agreements are 20%, then whatever compromises are tried, it can never work out, resulting in disconnects.

Abhishek – the only reason for disconnects is that, we don’t listen anymore. Initially, we listened a lot to our partner, but as days went by, the listening part slowly reduced, resulting in disconnects.

Allen – When one person in the commitment gives more and more to nurture the relationship, while the other person remains lethargic, and passive, the disconnect happens.

Kevin – The Disneyfication of life, by having high ideals for relationships, is a major reason for disconnects in relationships. It requires a lot of hard work and effort from both sides to nurture and to establish a relationship. Disneyfication cannot be of any help, whatsoever!

Shane Cristen – When expectations are too high, especially as portrayed in movies, disconnects happen.

Sharan – By failing to trust each other, because of jealousy, disconnects happen.

Sree Mugunthan – By failing to understand each other, disconnects happen.