I find it ironic that I was blessed with a child who has about as much interest in food as I do in dieting. Just because I have had success in my diet doesn't translate to my interest in the process. I do it because it was time to be done, but I feel like most days I go into it kicking and screaming and remembering the days when I ate any garbage I wanted to. Maintaining self control sucks! To have a toddler who eats only a handful of different items (excluding sweets and chips) under the wonderful combination of bribery and threats is maddening. Tonight I watched her chew the crust off a piece of pizza. She was ready to be done at that point. I had to painstakingly convince her to continue to gnaw the cheese covered piece of carbohydrate heaven. Could this child really be mine??? The process was torture. Of course I had a tiny bite or two or three which I always have to do when she doesn't eat her pizza.
One of my personal favorite moves of hers occurs at lunch time. I carefully prepare the SAME lunch everyday. A cream cheese sandwich (really, it's not anymore complicated than toasted bread with globs of cream cheese), one slice of ham, and some type of fruit. It's so boring I can barely stand to make it anymore but I find she really won't eat anything other than that at lunch. I wish my dear little one knew just how hard it was for me to take out the 3 lb tub of Philadelphia Cream Cheese we keep in the fridge at all time and smear that white cheesy goodness all over lightly toasted bread. I bring the Meal to her and she usually turns up her nose at it, at least of late. I don't blame her...I'd probably be board after eating the same thing day in and day out for months. I don't see what choice I have, it's not like I can give her cookies and call that lunch! At any rate, after ignoring some whining about her lunch, I enter the dining room with one of my diet meals (Weight Watchers Smart Ones, Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, etc...). To this point in the day I've only had a cup of coffee. I know I should eat breakfast but unless I can go full out (eggs, pancakes, toast, bacon, etc...) I don't want any! I'm sure most of you have seen the size of those meals. They aren't exactly large enough to fill you up. No sooner is my butt in the chair then my child asks, "Mom, can I have one of your noodles?" Unless I give her a small helping of whatever diet meal I am having that day, she won't eat. So I go from 10 noodles to 8. Sigh.
I know what you're all thinking...if she likes those meals so much, why not give her one of her own for lunch. Oh clever ones, I've tried that before. I took one meal I know she eats of mine, and doctored it with butter and extra cheese (nothing I know she won't eat) and placed the little microwave tray in front of her. She responds by picking at it but not really eating. So now, I've not only wasted one of my precious meals, but I have to go back and make the standard lunch on top of that. As well give her a handful of whatever meal I'm eating. Like I said, it's maddening!
You may all be thinking that I've created a monster by acquiescing her every dietary whim. By no means am I defending all my decisions about food. However, after going to every doctor visit and being told your child is about to drop off (and has at times) the growth curve you get a little desperate. I have relaxed a ton when it comes to her eating, but I still feel a sense of need to make sure she eats something at each meal. In the "olden" days I'm sure our parents would have said "If you're not going to eat what I put in front of you, you're not going to eat." I have tried that. The little bugger is an amazing hold out and in the end I cave after days of peckish eating.
Unless I had seen and felt her come out of my own body, I would question if she was really mine. That and she is a clone of my husband! I think this must be her form of payback. She must know on some level about Mommy's diet. And for all the times I told her "no" or "stop it" or put her in time out she is going to exact her revenge at the dining table. "Look Mom at what I can eat and you can't.....but I'm not going to eat it, nah nah na nah nah." That is what if feels like anyway. I only bring all this up because I've once again been fighting snack urges and unhealthy food choices. The pizza incident of tonight made me think about just how insane her food habits make me. I do take solace in the fact that perhaps she'll never have the food battles I do because food is just not that exciting to her. Now, if only I could convince my brain of that very concept. Not likely.
Until tomorrow, happy healthy eating!
