Arrested Development is painful to witness. It’s even more heartbreaking when it’s clearly preventable. Very often they occur as a result of overwhelming external forces. Where they occur as a result of decisions by those in authority driven by blind emotions, it’s terrible to witness.

Selfishness is not always the obvious diverting of resources to oneself.
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Selfishness and jealousy are deadly twins. Both focus on self. Both are extremely negative emotions that result in destructive actions. Leaders who let themselves be driven by both end up causing arrested development of those [there are always victims] they lead.

I once wrote on the goodness of God in the life of someone I had regular dealings with over many years. Like myself, she had miraculously recovered from severe illness through dedicated service in ministry facilitating spread of the gospel. However, as she regained complete function of all her limbs her mood changed for the worse. When you start talking about everything being about yourself or only you, you are dealing with selfishness. Selfishness is not always the obvious diverting of resources to oneself.

Sometimes comparing yourself to others breeds jealousy. Comparing your current performance to past performance provides healthier motivation. Being around other mothers with spouses made her focus on her perceived lack. As she was unemployed, she further gripped about being on benefits. She forgot how that was helping her younger children and managing with her responsibilities.

Inward focus

Her decision impacts her young children negatively as she focuses on her feelings. She stopped listening to valuable advice from her Pastor. She forgot her pastor had guided her through the years she went through her miraculous testimonies. Suddenly, someone who had free housing, subsidised transport, and a vibrant church life was discontent and acting like Elijah when Jezebel was after his life.

Consequences

Her decision to ignore government advise to cremate her beloved son as his body found months after his death was snowballing in consequences. She was about to interrupt the education of her most vulnerable charges to meet with what she considered her responsibilities to her dead son. The living are more important than the death. Brutal, but true. Arrested development for those most reliant on her was about to result from her blindness to the situation.

Taking your children from the first world to the third world on the basis of your personal desires where there is a serious risk of not returning is highly unfair. My interest in this tale had already disrupted her children’s education on account of this son during Covid-19 lockdown. It was by providence they were able to return to the UK. She discounted others temporarily looking after her teenagers until her return on the basis of her not being guaranteed a return to the UK.

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