Mentoring, coaching, role modelling, training…. leading….Whatever you want to call it, I would be nothing without it. That phrase was once hurled at me as an insult…
YOU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT ‘X’ – Well yes..That is true.
Workplace cultures in healthcare and research are created and shaped by what we do rather than what we say. Simply put, the way we Behave is how we end up living. Although we can all be influenced by what we see, hear and experience …YOU can choose how you will and won’t behave. You can equally decide what behaviour you will and will not accept from others. But who will show us the way we want to go?
As I remember training to be a midwife, many people said …”‘take the good bits and leave the bad bits’ out of your own practice, as you develop and grow alongside your mentor”. I did this, and yet it took me a long time to define who I wanted to be as a professional. Some mentors were good, and some mentors less so – personal preference perhaps?… Many tried to direct the way in which they wanted me to go, and it took great courage for me to challenge this directive behaviour. However, as my career progressed, I was able to study Leadership in health and social care at Masters degree level. This really helped me to understand the theories behind good and bad mentorship…
A good mentor:
- Has confidence in you
- Trusts you
- Empowers you
- Gives constructive feedback
- Wants you to succeed
- Supports your new ventures
- Listens to your new ideas
- Identifies your strengths and helps you develop them into constructive outputs
- Identifies your weaknesses and helps you manage them effectively
- Shares their wisdom
- Gives you wings to fly
- Behaves with integrity, professionalism and dignity
- Inspires you
- Is kind to you (and others)!
- Feeds your passions and thirst for new opportunities
- Invites you into their network of expertise
- Grows with you as you as a professional
A bad mentor:
- Is concerned only with their own success
- Talks about doing things that never happen ‘All talk’
- Is always negative about everything and everyone
- Is never around
- Cannot commit to your development
- Bullies you
- Dictates how you must behave
- Doesn’t pay attention to the way you would like to develop professionally
- Never admits when they are wrong
- Refuses to believe that you may know more than them in certain areas
- Compares you with others (negatively)
- Never lets you progress
- Kills your confidence
- Makes you feel bad about yourself
Once you find your way, it is important to find the courage to decide which behaviours you are willing to accept, and to role model yourself for the benefit of others. These are important choices to make, as they will contribute to the cultures in which you and your colleagues will be working. Ask yourself the following:
- What do you need in order to be productive?
- What do you need from others in order to thrive professionally?
- How do you want to behave?
- What are you willing to accept?
The answers to these questions must be acted upon. Have the courage to communicate these needs…Others will want you to succeed, they will appreciate this information…
…If not…..are you willing to accept that?
My final tip for ultimate success is to find your flock. Gravitate towards those who inspire you… hang around with those who allow you to fly…. learn from those who lift others up and share your thoughts with those who seek out change.
I would be nothing without my ‘Flock’…my wonderful mentors and my inspiring colleagues.
Each and every one of us ‘mentor’ a growing professional every day (whether we realise it or not)! Therefore each and every one of us needs to decide how we want to behave every day..We all create the workplace cultures, leaders and workforce of the future. Lets create something wonderful…
Thank you to all of you wonderful mentors out there….
Until next time, look after yourselves, and each other
