“Emotions are signals that direct us on the current of life. Using the power of Emotional Command, we can use the signals to take us on this amazing journey of life.” JB Glossinger 

One of the best ways to move through dark energy to to focus on emotional command. What is emotional command? In today’s article we discuss emotionally command and a few new tools to add to your MorningCoach lifestyle. We will learn a system to use to deal with powerful emotions. 

A System for Everything!

Saturday is Systems day here at MorningCoach! If you just want to learn about systems, you can visit the CoachCast every Saturday! Please become a member, so that you can have full access to our powerful CoachCast and all the benefits of Membership.

We can have a system for everything, even for emotions. If you’ve heard of EQ or Emotional Intelligence, it’s become a very popular system in the United States for working with employees. It’s used to understand how people handle their emotions, and how they will react in certain situations. 

Emotional Control or Emotional Command?

It’s very difficult to “control” the emotions. We even talk about “getting carried away” by the emotions. Feeling out of control is terrible, so we need a system to get back to a better place. When JB published his first book, Get out of Neutral, he coined the term Emotional Command.

We don’t control our emotions, but we can step back and be in command of them. One of the foundational practices here at MorningCoach is awareness. If we are aware of our emotions, and why we’re feeling the way we’re feeling… Sad, Depressed, Angry, Joyful, Happy, Loving… Then we can command them. We can be in control of the flow of what’s happening. 

Think about that. The emotions are like a body of water – a lake or the ocean – constantly changing. Outside events, like weather, cause changes in the emotions. When we’re calm, the “waves” of emotion are placid and peaceful. When we’re upset, the waves of emotion may be very big! Some emotions even threaten to “sink” our Emotional Ship! 

However, you are the captain of your ship – you can observe the events and the waves of emotion and take command of the flow of what’s happening. You can’t control the weather or calm the waves, but you can make smart choices about sailing out of the storm. 

Take a Time Out!

Today’s system is to take time. It turns out that Mom was right! If we want to command our emotions, we need to take some time to deal with those big emotions. We DO need a time out! 

Anger and frustration are going to come. We want to allow them, and experience them. But… we set a time limit of 10 to 30 minutes. For that time period, we’re going to really focus on feeling the emotion. 

Victor Frankel, a psychologist who survived the German Concentration Camps in WWII wrote a great book titled “Man’s Search for Meaning”. He understood emotions like suffering. Suffering stops being suffering when you understand what it is. So you want to take the time to understand and really experience the emotions. 

Emotional Trauma

Sometimes you have to give yourself a lot of time. Sometimes that emotion just keeps coming back around. Some emotions are like wounds or injuries. Big emotional traumas, like grief or abuse, need months or years to heal. You may even need professional help to work with emotional wounds that just don’t heal. 

But day-to-day anger and frustration can usually be dealt with in a shorter 5, 10, or 30 minute time frame. Allow your self to experience the emotion, then let it go. Practice forgetting it. Let the wave of emotion pass under you while you command your ship. 

What We focus on Expands

When we learn to detach from the emotions and observe them, we are able to make better choices. We observe the emotions, we understand the emotions, and we recognize them. When we take time to really experience our emotions, they start to dissipate. 

We don’t judge our emotions. There are no “right” or “wrong” emotions. We allow them to come and go, and we have compassion for our experiences. Then we try to find a new perspective about the experiences that triggered the emotions. 

Now we are in command of our emotional energy. Remember, what we focus on expands, so we don’t want to continue feeding the negative emotions more energy. We experience them, but allow them to pass by. We turn our attention to the positive emotions that we do want to feel – love, compassion, kindness, happiness.

Be Open to Hidden Blessings

If you have trouble letting go of a negative emotion, you can try using a gratitude practice to help you shift direction. Try to find something to be grateful about even when you’re angry. 

Even negative situations have hidden blessings. Look for the hidden blessings, and if you have trouble seeing any, ask your Higher Power to show them to you. Once you open to the possibility of a hidden blessing, you’ll have some amazing new insights about your situation. 

Send Blessings

Another system you can use is to actively bless the person who upset you. This system works really well in traffic! If someone cuts us off, we can send them blessings … “God bless this person, and may they get exactly what they deserve.” We don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life… Maybe they need a ticket, but maybe they have an emergency! 

We can bless those crazy drivers, and release our negative emotions. Another great blessing for driving is “God bless everyone around me. May we all arrive at our destinations safely and on time.” Focusing on this blessing seems to make the drive smoother every time.

Homework 

Your homework for today is to take time to experience your emotions. Observe them. Become curious about them. Why am I feeling this, what does it remind me of? What can I learn from this emotion? What is the hidden blessing?

With daily practice, it will become easier to command your emotions instead of being “carried away” by them.