Understanding Attachment styles can be an important step toward healing on your journey to recovery. The attachments you form in early life can have a profound impact on how you function now. As noted in a 2015 article from Current Opinion in Psychology, the attachment styles you form can shape your physiological stress responses as they impact your ability to regulate emotional distress.

Thus, the relationships you form in early life inform the way you engage in familial and romantic relationships as an adult. For example, if you were emotionally abused by your caregiver in your childhood, you are more likely to normalize that behavior in your relationships in adulthood. As the process of learning in your early life stems from the behaviors and actions of the adults around you. Therefore, Understanding Attachment Styles can give you insight into how your early relationships may be impeding your life now.

At The Guest House, we that psychological distress and self-defeating behaviors often stem from deep-seated trauma. Moreover, deep trauma can be born out of experiences that happened well before you were old enough to understand it. Thus, self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that feel confusing and sourceless are commonly rooted in developmental and attachment trauma. Therefore, understanding attachment styles can be a powerful tool for addressing the maladaptive coping strategies that impede your well-being.

However, you may be wondering what exactly is attachment.

What Is Attachment?

According to the journal Kairaranga, attachment is a reciprocal process in which an emotional connection is formed between the infant and their caregiver. As a process, attachment can have a significant impact on multiple areas of development. In particular, attachment can influence a young child’s physical, neurological, cognitive, and psychological development. Moreover, a child’s development can be an indicator of their ability to function in various settings. Therefore, attachment can have an impact on how you learn, process stress, relate to others, and engage in the world.

Furthermore, the bases of our understanding of attachment are born out of attachment theory. As noted in a 2019 article from Frontiers in Psychiatry, attachment theory is an approach that reflects on a collection of different patterns or attachment styles. These different patterns within attachment theory are based on the specific experiences that happen in attachment relationships. Moreover, the patterns include different levels of security, coping strategies, means for regulating negative emotions, and expressing attachment needs. Therefore, understanding attachment styles can give you deeper insight into how they can influence your relationships and mental well-being.

Yet, you may be wondering what are the different attachment styles. Or how will understanding attachment styles help you on your recovery journey?

Understanding Attachment Styles

As noted in an article from Paediatrics and Child Health, it is important to recognize the difference between attachment and bonding. According to MH Klaus and JH Kennell, bonding occurs from skin-to-skin contact during early development. For example, skin-to-skin contact right after birth and during breastfeeding or bottle feeding may be considered bonding moments. Moreover, many people perceive Klaus and Kennell’s concept of bonding as a part of attachment within attachment theory.

However, the skin-to-skin contact concept is erroneous and has little to do with attachment. As noted in a 2021 article from Frontiers in Psychiatry, bonding is the formation of an emotional connection from the parent to the child. Whereas, attachment is the emotional connection of the child to their primary caregiver. Therefore, the difference between bonding and attachment highlights understanding attachment styles as a tool for early perceptions of security and insecurity from the child.

According to the Korean Journal of Pediatrics, understanding attachment styles started with the observations Mary Ainsworth made in her Strange Situation experiment. While several situations were presented to the infants during the experiment, one scenario involved separation. In the experiment, 12-month-old children were briefly separated from their mothers to see how they would respond to their caregiver’s disappearance. Through the observations of the young children’s actions and behaviors, three attachment styles were uncovered.

The three attachment styles uncovered during the experiment are secure attachment, ambivalent or anxious-ambivalent attachment, and avoidant attachment. In addition, later on, a fourth category for attachment style was uncovered as disorganized attachment. As noted in the article “Attachment: The What, the Why, and the Long-Term Effects” by Abi M. B. Davis and Katherine B. Carnelley, understanding attachment styles can be measured using the Strange Situation Procedure to reflect on the reactions of the children in each scenario. Listed below are the four types of behaviors observed during the Strange Situation experiment:

• The child’s behavior when their caregiver leaves
• How the child behaves around a stranger
• The child’s behavior once their caregiver returns
• How the caregiver responds to the child

Moreover, attachment styles are broken into two categories, secure attachment, and three insecure attachments. First, you can support understanding attachment styles by looking at the four types of behavior for secure attachment.

Secure Attachment

As Davis and Carnelley note, secure attachment typically reflects a healthy level of comfortability with yourself and others. In addition, your ability to regulate your emotions and adapt to negative experiences in healthy ways increases with secure attachments. Listed below are the behavioral reactions toddlers with secure attachment displayed during the Strange Situation experiment:

• The child’s behavior when their caregiver leaves
  • Notices their caregiver’s absence and shows discomfort
• How the child behaves around a stranger
  • Are comfortable when their primary caregiver is also present
• The child’s behavior once their caregiver returns
  • Displays happiness and positive mood
• How the caregiver responds to the child
  • The caregiver is responsive to the child
  • They express happiness to see the child

Moreover, as noted in Paediatrics and Child Health, infants with secure attachments are also more likely to greet and or approach their caregiver when the caregiver returns. While the child may maintain contact with their caregiver, they are still able to return to independent play. Thus, understanding attachment styles highlights the positive characteristics of secure attachments. Secure attachment showcases an ability to find comfort and value in relationships while maintaining independence. With a deeper understanding of secure attachment, you can compare the increased dysfunction found in insecure attachment styles.

Anxious-ambivalent Attachment

Listed below are the four behavioral reactions toddlers with anxious-ambivalent attachment displayed during the Strange Situation experiment:

• The child’s behavior when their caregiver leaves
  • They express severe discomfort when they realize their caregiver is gone
• How the child behaves around a stranger
  • Displays high levels of discomfort around the stranger
• The child’s behavior once their caregiver returns
  • They are not soothed by the caregiver’s return
  • The child rejects the caregiver
• How the caregiver responds to the child
  • The caregiver’s response to the child’s needs is inconsistent
    • They may comfort or not comfort the child
    • Amplify the child’s distress
    • Become overwhelmed

In addition, Paediatrics and Child Health notes, anxious-ambivalent attachment is based on hope responses. With anxious-ambivalent attachment, the child’s strategy for dealing with their distress is to display extreme negative emotions. The child expresses extreme negative emotions in the hopes that the inconsistent caregiver will notice their distress and become responsive to their needs. Moreover, another insecure attachment, avoidant attachment shares some similar behavioral responses to the anxious-ambivalent attachment style.

Avoidant Attachment

According to the Strange Situation Procedure, listed below are the behavioral reactions toddlers with avoidant attachment displayed during the experiment:

• The child’s behavior when their caregiver leaves
  • They show discomfort over the absence of their caregiver
• How the child behaves around a stranger
  • They appear to be comfortable with the stranger’s presence
• The child’s behavior once their caregiver returns
  • They make no effort to engage with their caregiver
• How the caregiver responds to the child
  • The caregiver ignores or rejects the child

While avoidant attachment shares some behavioral similarities with anxious-ambivalent, the former attachment style is less likely to seek out comfort. The child’s disconnect from their caregiver highlights what they have learned from the caregiver’s typical response. As noted in Paediatrics and Child Health, since the caregiver consistently rejects the child, the child knows to avoid the caregiver in times of need. Now you can consider the emotional and behavioral difficulties found in insecure attachments like disorganized attachment.

Disorganized Attachment

The experiences of children with disorganized attachment are characterized by atypical behaviors from their primary caregiver(s). Due to atypical interactions, you can see the potential for unhealthy dysfunction in the behavior of toddlers with disorganized attachment:

• The child’s behavior when their caregiver leaves
  • Their behavior is inconsistent
    • The child may become angry over their caregiver’s disappearance
    • Or the child may act withdrawn
• How the child behaves around a stranger
  • Their reaction to being left alone with a stranger is inconsistent
• The child’s behavior once their caregiver returns
  • They often express worry in the presence of their caregiver
• How the caregiver responds to the child
  • Their response to the child is inconsistent or frightening

Therefore, understanding attachment styles showcases how the behavior of the caregiver influences how the child reacts to distress. Moreover, as noted in the British Journal of General Practice, understanding attachment styles in relation to unattuned parenting can also highlight how your attachment style can be carried beyond infancy. As attachment styles can be reflected in gravitation toward personality types like loners and attention seekers. Thus, understanding attachment styles means you can explore the impact they can have on long-term well-being.

Understanding Attachment Styles Impact on Well-Being

According to an article from the Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, it is important to note that insecure attachment on its own does not cause mental health disorders. Rather early attachment, family context, and other social experiences work together to shape your developmental path. However, the attachment style you form in early childhood can be a strong indicator of other risk factors that lead to mental health disorders.

In particular, there is a high correlation between insecure attachment and disorders like depression and anxiety for children and adolescents. Moreover, as noted in Paediatrics and Child Health, of the four attachment styles, disorganized attachment in early life has been shown as the strongest predictor of mental health disorders. As children with disorganized attachment are at a greater risk for stress and difficulty regulating negative emotions.

Yet, you may be wondering how attachment styles can lead to mental health disorders and self-defeating behaviors. Understanding attachment styles as seen in the Strange Situation experiment highlights the process of learning through interaction. According to the Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, attachment dynamics can shape your thinking and behavior patterns, as well as your expectations of other people and interpersonal events.

Therefore, it can be said that in early childhood you formed mental representations of yourself and others through your interactions with your caregiver and other important people in your life. Thus, your early experiences and the attachment style you formed in those relationships can act as a blueprint for how you feel, think, and behave in your interactions now. For example, if your only guides neglected and or abused you throughout your childhood, what other representations do you have? If your needs have always been ignored or rejected, what reason would you have to believe that your distress will be addressed in other relationships?

How Understanding Attachment Styles Impact Relationships

As Davis and Carnelley note, the internal working model we form from our early experiences becomes guides on how we expect future relationships to be. Therefore, understanding attachment styles can give you insight into how your attachment has influenced your relationships. According to a 2017 article from Current Opinion in Psychology, adult romantic attachment orientations are broken into two broad categories, avoidance and anxiety. As an attachment orientation, avoidance is a reflection of the level of comfort you have with closeness and emotional intimacy in your romantic relationships. Therefore, if you are highly avoidant, you are more likely to seek independence, control, and autonomy in your relationships.

Whereas, if you have an anxious orientation, you are more likely to seek emotional closeness to your romantic partner to feel more secure. As a result of anxious attachment, you have negative self-views and uncertainty about the reliability of your partner, which increases feelings of worthlessness and worry. Moreover, as Davis and Carnelley note, listed below are some of the ways the four attachment styles can influence your behavior in relationships:

• Secure attachment
  • Are able to effectively share your feelings
  • You are able to trust easily
  • Experiences happiness in relationships
  • You are able to be alone
• Avoidant attachment
  • You have difficulty sharing your feelings
  • More likely to be uncomfortable with closeness
  • You may come across as uninterested
  • Experience extreme discomfort with being alone
• Anxious attachment
  • You put other’s needs before your own
  • Can be clingy
  • You are afraid of being rejected
  • Experiences difficulties with being alone
• Disorganized attachment
  • You find it difficult to trust
  • It is difficult for you to put yourself in other’s shoes
  • You have difficulty communicating with others
  • Experience fear over closeness

Furthermore, understanding attachment styles can give you insight into how you engage in relationships. With a deeper understanding of your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, you can start learning how to build healthier connections.

Building Healthy Attachment at The Guest House

While your attachment style is a model of your experiences in your early life, the distress found in insecure attachments can decrease over time. The harmful effects of insecure attachments can decrease as you have more experiences with healthy interactions and relationships. As noted in an article from the American Psychologist, supportive close relationships can support and improve your health. Through healthy social connections, you can fulfill your needs for love, intimacy, companionship, and security. Moreover, when your needs are being met, you have more space to form adaptive coping skills, set and achieve goals, learn, and grow as a person.

Therefore, at The Guest House, we are committed to providing a holistic approach to care that meets you where you are on your recovery journey. Moreover, we believe fully in the idea of “loving them back to health” because many of the barriers to healing and recovery are rooted in trauma. Thus, insecure attachments that formed in your early life are often interwoven with negative experiences that have perhaps left you feeling unseen, unloved, and unsafe.

When those early traumas are left unaddressed, they manifest as self-defeating behaviors that impede your ability to lead a fulfilling life with healthy meaningful relationships. Therefore, our ability to offer a wide range of therapeutic modalities means there is space for you to discover a healthier you in a safe and loving community for long-term recovery.

Insecure attachment styles can increase your risk for self-defeating behaviors and unhealthy relationships. As insecure attachment styles are often a reflection of early childhood trauma. Therefore, the negative interactions and attachments you formed as a child can influence the way you think, feel, and behave as an adult. However, understanding attachment styles can give you insight into the source of your self-defeating behaviors. Through therapeutic modalities that foster deeper self-awareness, you can learn how to process your trauma, build healthier coping strategies, and form healthy relationships for long-term recovery. Therefore, The Guest House is committed to providing a wide range of therapeutic modalities that give you space to discover a healthier you. Call us at (855) 483-7800 to learn more.