I have had a lot of time this year to reflect on my life. Time spent in countless medical waiting rooms to see various specialists, waiting for scans, staying still in scanning machines and a few stays in hospital for operations and other procedures.

All up I am Deeply Grateful for my life. I have the most wonderful, loving people around me and I could not be more blessed. Yes, there have been challenges and sometimes I have ended up in tears when it all got a bit overwhelming. But equally I have laughed many times at the absurdity of things and very much realise that life is strange, fabulous, harsh, beautiful and the most precious gift that we have.

When I have felt overwhelmed I have thought to myself “ok, deal with this one thing and move forwards.” Mostly that works. Occasionally, it’s like “seriously universe?” Overall, I am reminded that I am fortunate to live in a country with excellent health care and that I can afford private health insurance (I prefer private rooms in hospital – that’s just me and I am Deeply Grateful for the privilege.)

Today I reflect on all the things that brought me to this point in life. It has been a wonderous journey, occasionally strange and some wrong turns. But I always get back on track, put one foot in front of the other and look towards the future whilst appreciating my here and now.

I have some beautiful friends around me who always offer their love and support. I have been saddened to see four long-term relationships end over the last couple of months for some of my dearest friends. Each of my friends are the kindest, sweetest and most loving of people. It is now my turn to offer my loving friendship and support to them to be a small part of their path forwards into their new lives.

They are all at various stages in the grief process and it is heartbreaking to see them go through this challenge. There is shock and bafflement as to why things have to end. I have wrapped my arms around them (two in person and two virtually due to distance) and told them they are beautiful souls who deserve to be loved and cherished. They really, really do deserve the very best.

Yesterday was RUOK Day and I am reminded that we do need to care for each other and reach out, not just today, but everyday and ask “how are you?” Do it from a place of authenticity. Ask with a genuine belief that you want to hear the answer. A lot of people are not ok at all. Many do not want to share their grief, pain or depression. But if you give them the space and be prepared to listen, hear and offer empathy, then you may help someone open up.

You don’t have to fix things for them. Often listening is enough or a start at least. I have had times where I have been stoic and just pushed through things. Other days I have walked into work feeling mostly fine, then someone says “hey, how are you?” and I end up in tears. I am deeply fortunate that I work in a very supportive environment with really wonderful people and an understanding and empathetic boss.

I am the Safety & Wellbeing officer in my workplace. For RUOK Day I took my dog into work (he’s a registered therapy dog) for customers and team to pet and cuddle. One girl said she was feeling really down that day and seeing George immediately lifted her spirits and changed the tone of her day.

My message to you all is to be gentle with yourself. Life has many twists and turns. We can have our hearts broken, we can suffer sudden or chronic illness, we can lose people. But if we genuinely and carefully nurture ourselves, then we have the capacity and bandwidth to help each other through the good times and the bad.

As I take one step after another into my future I am fortunate to have my beloved partner and daughter by my side offering love and support, laughter and joy. Equally, I am there for them for anything they may face – good or bad – now and in the times ahead. Gratitude is my daily mantra:

I put my energy into things that matter to me. I am grateful for my life’s challenges for helping me grow and become who I am. I am grateful for my dreams and I know I have the power to manifest them. I love myself, respect myself, and accept myself exactly as I am.

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