Pretending that something is not a big deal usually just leads to it becoming an even bigger deal down the road. If something bothers you, if something is a big deal it is valid. Be honest, be open but be kind. Say what bothers you, as hard as it is. In not matter the situation it could be a new role or a new relationship your needs don’t make you needy, they make you human. We all have them, they are all important. Within the needs we have are boundaries, boundaries are needed to protect ourselves. They are what others need to know so they can treat us how we need to be treated. Some people will not know unless we tell them. If you are unsure about someone’s boundaries or needs, ask them. We won’t always be asked, some of us are less aware then others. Some of us have not understood as much, not experienced as much or have the same emotional intelligence. So we can lead conversations, we can state our needs and boundaries and clarify equally the needs and boundaries of others. When something is a big deal to us we have to be honest about it. Firstly to ourselves, then to others. That big deal, as uncomfortable as it may seem to have to address it, if not address will cause us much more suffering in the long term than the initial discomfort of addressing it. If something bothers you, it’s valid. If something bothers someone else, it’s valid. That’s a big deal.

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