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Before I get into the main topic at hand, regarding the trip to the Toledo Zoo (which was now nearly a month ago), I first want to inform everybody that between now and Wednesday, I should have three new entries up entirely….one not specifically about Autism, but using my Autistic puzzle-solving abilities to explain about something that’s….been in the news, shall we say, and I think it’s a fun topic that everyone might enjoy, honestly.

Second of all, some announcements that I was just made privy to within the last hour, as I was waiting to dry off after getting out of the shower:

In one of the chat groups on Telegram that I’m in, someone shared two very interesting posts….

One was a video about how it turns out the real problem behind “peanut allergies” isn’t actually the peanut itself, but how peanuts are stored, in the process of making peanut butter. Apparently the way they’re stored to be shipped off to retail, they tend to grow a certain kind of mold that’s apparently very unhealthy, and has been linked to cancer diagnoses, especially starting in the 1980s (gee, funny…isn’t that when all the complaints about Autism statistics started popping up?!)

The other was about cells in a petrie dish being mixed with chemicals secreted both from the brain of someone in love, and another one mixed with chemicals secreted from the brain of a person experiencing fear. The cells mixed with the chemicals of the person experiencing fear stopped growing, whereas the cells mixed with the chemicals of the person experiencing love were open to grow and evolve. Ready for me to elaborate on the commonality in both of these examples?

Let’s start with the peanut butter; what do you commonly associate peanut butter with? A quick and easy preparation for a child’s lunch, usually for school, correct? Now, I mentioned how both the statistics with peanut problems and Autism became heavily prevalent in the 80s, however….wasn’t the public school curriculum around since about the turn of the century? Now granted, dietary changes may’ve played some part at least in terms of the peanut butter (i.e. big corporations taking over production for most of it), but most of that had already happened by around the 1960s, so you’d think statistics would’ve started up then, and not the 1980s, correct? Ok, let’s look at it a different way now:

What if they just decided to go the Ancel Keyes/Phil Sokolof route, and apply blame where they wanted to, to push an agenda, when they wanted to, and up to the point they finally did that, just brushed it off as nothing, to keep the masses appeased with their system?

Why do I bring up the System here, you may ask? That’s where the next point comes in:

As stated throughout this unintentional miniseries here, the System is entirely designed for survival, not thriving; so, in the case of the peanut butter, it’s an easy and quick meal to make for your kids, schools offer terrible options for storing food (in my opinion, entirely by design), and it’s not like with the “rat race”, parents have time to prepare anything genuinely nutritious for their kids anyway……nor by that point would they know what is nutritious in most cases, since the food pyramid was also a giant part of the scam to prop up Big Food. On top of that, however, that’s where the petri dish example comes into play:

If the entire system is completely designed for survival, not thriving, it means the masses consuming all this “food” and statistics aren’t in the mentality/state of mind to take in new information & question those who dole out the food and statistics, only to take a chance on it, get used to it, and hope for the best. That’s why you have trouble getting thru to the Normies about Autism; it’s all by design. They’re constantly in that state of fear of “losing everything” as they know it, and are taught to be as shallow as conceivably possible to not even trust their intuition to do anything more than look up to the rich people, and hope to one day having the financial “comfort” that they believe them to.

Make more sense now?! Ohhhh and wait until I get far more into why than I did here and here!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’ll blow yer mind, lemme tell ya!

Now that I got your attention more, while I’m hoping you very much enjoy the next few blog entries I have planned, hopefully you’ll enjoy what I have to share about my experience last month at the Toledo Zoo; I confess, I didn’t jot it down in my log book like I do most of my social experiences with Ursula, simply because unlike parties where I’m focusing on giving you folks a detail on my observations about the social interactions, my focus here was watching my Godson, and the animals at the Zoo

Also if you’re wondering why I titled this entry what I did…..well, it was either referencing that phrase from a Chipmunks song, or referencing a stupid Dom Deluise movie from the mid 80s, and I just thought the first one sounded better and far less silly; yeah I….really otherwise couldn’t think of a good title for this one, and I deny nothing.

So, first of all, on Saturday, I got up at 6:15 AM, as Ursula was to pick me up in Perrysburg Ohio–incidentally on the very strip I stayed with my former room-mate and guy we were gonna live out here with, during that initial trip–at 9:15 AM. I had to feed the guinea pigs really early this time, having to leave so early, and it was not something I was particularly thrilled with having to do, honestly.

“Which part, Russell? Getting up uber-early again, or feeding them really early?

Yes.

6:15 was actually earlier than I was anticipating waking up, but I wasn’t gonna chance it and go back to bed; if I get up early and have an event to attend, I stay up; I chance nothing. And incidentally enough, this is easily the first time I’ve gone to bed early where I didn’t have any real problems falling asleep, for whatever reason; no, I don’t see a habit emerging from that, it was just a nice possible “synchronicity” moment. I headed out I believe close to 8 AM ( I told you I fed them early), and Ursula/my Godson picked me up in the Kroger parking lot shortly after 9:30; I was considering grabbing a bite to eat on the strip, before they grabbed me, but I decided just to wait til we were at the park.

On the drive there, Ursula told me it would just be me, her, and my Godson Howard, as Evan had to work that day…..though as we already know, she can’t go without calling for more reinforcements just to have more people around, and I’ll get into something new I learned about it–that actually wound up giving me some new-found reassurance–in a bit. As we were getting out of the car to head in, she offered me some bug spray, and I turned it down, but I saw that she had a small portable container of Cheerios for Howard, and I used the opportunity to mention about bio-engineered ingredients; can’t say it meant anything at this time, but at least I said something. She asked me if I planned on following her back to their place after we were done at the Zoo, or if I was just gonna head home….let’s just say asking me that option when I’m already waking up at an ungodly hour is probably gonna lead me to choose the latter, out of sheer exhaustion from how screwed up the day’s schedule gets, not to mention in this case having to feed the guinea pigs so early as well.

As we went into the Park, she kept asking me if I wanted to go to this attraction, or that attraction, or whatever, and I kept telling her the same thing: it really doesn’t matter to me, I’m up for whatever. My main focus was on my Godson. With that, we went on this short train ride–where my focus, again, was less on the animals on the small area it encircled, and more on making sure my Godson didn’t try to get up out of the train. Ursula even pushed after that for this Carousel ride, and I said sure; again, watching the Godson. We can do whatever they want to, I’m focusing on my Godson (also again, I’m kinda mentally still asleep due to how early it is; roughly around 10 AM by this point).

It was a short time later where she–of course–called in for the reinforcements; this time, calling in two of the older family members, and also Tarah, and when Tarah joined up with us, this is where things got interesting, as she acknowledged that Ursula is always calling in “the cavalry”; i.e. it ain’t just a “Russell is weird, I need other people around to feel more comfortable thing”, it’s more of a “I just need lots of people around constantly, if I can get them”; she is a social butterfly after all, so I could indeed see that. Incidentally, the trip to the Toledo Zoo was nearly canceled, as the mother of Ursula’s friend had just passed, and of course she wanted to pay her respects….then the trip was resumed when she found out that the service was being held on Sunday, so we were still able to do the Zoo outing. The reason I bring this up is because literally the day after she drove over half an hour to get to the Toledo Zoo, she got up early yet again to drive over half an hour to get to the funeral service in Fremont. Clearly a very strong attachment to her social circles, and again….this is just on a weekend, after she’s yapping it up all week at her job in Fremont. It’s….kinda just her thing, but…something far more important it appears is coming of all this, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

So we got more in-depth with checking out more of the animals upon the family members and Tarah arriving, and incidentally enough, Tarah was actually just hit up by a guy friend of hers, asking to go to the Zoo with him, and instead passed it up to join us; I here want to also quickly acknowledge I have something more to say about this as well that will be brought up later, but something I want to state here is how fascinating I find it that it appears a new group dynamic is forming somewhat, out of what “used” to be, as I experienced with Ursula and her crowd. I stated in this entry here that with a child now in the picture, the priorities Ursula and Evan had for the people they surround themselves with were likely to start evolving; that being a “social butterfly” also came with the precaution that she had to…..be careful who she fluttered near. Someone in one of my chat groups shared the following meme recently:

“As you grow spiritually, people will inevitably fall from your life because you have risen to a new level of understanding. Let them go peacefully, eventually like minded people with a similar frequency to yours will take their place”

This is the transitional shakeup I now see beginning to take place with Ursula & Evan’s crowd, and why I believe I was chosen as Godfather, even if Ursula didn’t fully consciously realize it, at the time; it was where God was starting to lead them in a new, more genuinely fulfilling direction, and one I’m honored to be apart of, I can assure you; but we’ll get to more of that in a bit….let’s get back to the animals, shall we? I forgot to mention something very important in all of this:

So…..what if I told you the sole time before this trip I’d been to the Toledo Zoo…..was in November/December of 2008, and for an event they do known as the Lights Before Christmas? That’s right folks, I hadn’t been to this Zoo in 15 years, and when I had gone last, because it was getting so cold, very few animals were actually out to be seen, and that the main feature was all the Christmas lighting in the park? Oh…..and that trip, I’d been there with Jeanette and her parents, on top of that. So yes, a brand new experience with new people was definitely in the cards!

Last time I was there, for instance, we’d gone to the elephant’s quarters, and the elephant was….obviously not out, due to the cold, but the smell of its shit was definitely there, and it was pungent. This time, I got to see both elephants, one in fact right up close in one of the viewing areas, and Ursula’s relative seemed to have a working knowledge of animals, so her spinning yarn about it was actually in my eyes a welcome compliment to what we were viewing! We also check out the orangutans (it appears there was a new baby in there, present), along with the brown bears, passed by the tigers roaming back and forth across its enclosure “guarding” its territory, red pandas, several other simians and bears, several gorgeous birds, and Ursula made it a priority that we had to see the Aquarium, the reptiles(including this tropical portion of it), and all the insects.

Now…the interesting portion about the Reptile House……I actually went in with just Tarah, because Ursula went back to the parking lot, as the family members were leaving, and she spends half an hour or whatever saying goodbye, so we had some time just to observe most of these things on our own, and when Ursula rejoined us, she insisted Tarah and I go together on the whole tropical path to check out the specific species of frogs. At a later point–likely a short time before we decided to get some food–Tarah and I were sitting on a bench, as we were waiting for Ursula to come back; I forgot what Ursula went off for, it might have been in part to change Howard, but don’t quote me on that; it’s been nearly a month now; let’s just say though……she seemed to put a concerted effort into having Tarah and I be alone together, quite frequently. I want to take a moment to tell you folks that I think about Tarah to a point quite a bit, and I think Ursula is hoping for exactly that. My current issue, however, is this:

She and I seem to have fantastic chemistry when it involves watching over Howard, but as of right now, we don’t seem to have chemistry beyond that (unless I’m expecting something that God has planned differently for me, here); I’m personally of the opinion–at this time–that either sparks fly from Day 1 or they don’t; at the same time, however, I also have to consider I was kinda mentally exhausted, having gotten up so early, so this has to be factored in as well. Another factor in all of this is that–and I openly admit this–I believe I have a bit of a scarcity mentality, still. It’s a combination of several factors, really, but I’m gonna hold off til the end of this entry to explain another reason why it’s on my mind as much as it is; it’ll make more sense then. Needless to say, take note of the timing of Tarah entering Ursula’s life; like I said…it goes back to spiritual growth. Tarah is very different from the people Ursula had surrounded herself with up to now, but as she’s growing and evolving, she’s finding more and more chemistry with people like myself, and Tarah, and I’ll get into a very important factor about that, when we conclude this entry.

Before we decided to grab a bite to eat, we decided to check out the insects, and lemme tell ya folks something:

Back when I was a kid, there used to be advertisements on TV for these wildlife cards; I had them, and lemme tell ya, those bugs looked damn creepy or even intimidating in those photos; though I’m sure that may’ve been part of the intent. When you actually see them in person, they’re actually pretty damn cool! The biggest example that sticks out for me above all–and Howard liked it too–is the stick bug. It literally blends in with small tree limbs and protrusions; kinda creeped me out on those wildlife cards, but in person I found them simply marvelous.

A short time later, we grabbed some food at a nearby restaurant; they had a lot of chicken and fries “ready to eat”, and there was a counter nearby offering a taco special: 3 for $13. We were waiting in that line for….quite a while, cause the taco guy was taking his time. All the same, I bought the taco special, and also picked up a cup of chicken bits, and one of fries; whole thing came out to a little over $20….good thing I did too, though….because honestly I found the tacos kinda underwhelming compared to the chicken and fries. After we got our food, we sat down at a table with an umbrella, ate, and relaxed a bit, and Tarah was talking to Ursula about some issues with her former landlord, so I basically just listened, and chimed in occasionally, but mostly just let them do their thang; Howard was sleeping the majority of the time we were at the table.

Before the Zoo was about to close was when Ursula wanted us to visit the Aquarium, and I very much remembered this from my last trip, including one particular fish tank that features a latrine. I told them I remembered seeing that one, and incidentally, whenever I bring up the word “latrine”, and people ask me why I use it, and I explain, it seems to click for them; I find that rather funny. We also watched as some worker was actually cleaning one of the fish cages while the fish were in it, and swimming around her legs, and there was even this one particular fish tank that had this cool feature of a portal-like window, but one you could literally sit inside, and stare at what lay before you; it was amazing; Toledo Zoo really is an amazing place, and I’d recommend it more if it didn’t seem like they were trying to go “Smart City” on us, but all the same, it was a great time.

As we left the park, we first walked Tarah to her car, and after that, we got into Ursula’s, and as we drove off, I laid it out for her:

I told her I think Tarah should be designated the new Godmother. She and I work so well together in watching over Howard, it’s almost like kismet really, and she’s amazing with him too; Ursula agreed, and said we should have a meet-up later this Fall, and bring it up to her. It was there that Ursula told me the “fate” of her relationship with the original designated Godmother–how she’s a “fair weather” type that’s there for fun, but beyond that, there just doesn’t seem to be much to her. It was there and then that I told Ursula “you were a different person, then, and that’s ok. You’ve grown a lot, since then; I even stated since Howard’s first birthday party how much your priorities were going to change, with him in the picture. I remember when Gina accused you of being extremely shallow, and….she wasn’t entirely wrong; that was then, though….you’re growing, and I’m really proud of you; this is why I stuck it out. There was no coincidence in choosing me as the Godfather; you knew subconsciously you were getting something you were gonna need in the future, even if you didn’t consciously realize it yet.”

Well, here my friends is where the “hammer” drops with my confusion over Tarah:

Do I want her to be the Godmother? Yes I do…the thing is…..wouldn’t it be a bit confusing for Howard to have two Godparents in relationships with entirely different partners? I fully realize I can’t base my dating future on what would be best for Howard, naturally, but is this the path God is leading me on? No, I don’t mean that God is leading me on this path specifically to serve Howard, but that he brought Howard into my life to build a stronger bond with Ursula and her family, and possibly brought Tarah into that fold for something bigger for all of us? Is Tarah just meant to show there’s a stepping stone to better people for me, or as the Schumann Resonance improves everyone’s frequency, is she who God has for me, but when that time is truly right? Lest we forget, I was also kinda mentally out of it, having to get up so early that day. “Russell, can’t you just enjoy the moment, and let things play out as they’re going to, however they do?” It’s just things that I think about, a lot, really; yes I feel like I’m second-guessing myself a lot on this one, but I also know that a lot is changing in general, so what answers made sense before….may resonate differently, and very very soon. And before you say to me “I thought God said you hadn’t met her yet?” Well, to be fair, at the time I posted that, I hadn’t met her yet.

Incidentally enough, just last week, Ursula asked me to request off for Halloween for their gathering, and she brought up that she was gonna see if Tarah could join as well; I think this gathering will be a little different, with a 2 year old in the mix this time, but it will be a new experience for all of us in a way, which I’m excited for. Relax, I’m not gonna set myself up for disappointment if it turns out that I’m overthinking it with Tarah, and that my original assessment was correct; what will be will be, but I bring all this up to explain my thought process in all of it, if that makes sense.

Wow….that’s actually an even better transition than I thought it would be, because next time we’re going to take on a subject very much currently in the world of current events that while it itself is not about Autism, I will be using my Autistic thought process to elaborate on a far bigger fallout from this event that’s taking place, and why I see it doing exactly that; in other words…..another chance to show you folks how the Autistic mind works, when you let it do what it does best. See you then!