2024-04-15 15:16
Years ago, a colleague remarked to me, “I have appointments to see three pediatricians today.”
I exclaimed, “I didn’t realize you could do that before the baby… Read More
Blog Directory > Health & Fitness Blogs > Real Palliative Care health-and-fitness Blog >
Real Palliative Care Blog
realpalliativecare.com
Tags:
cancer
medical
grieving
hospice
acutely grieving
letter
perspective
continue
palliative
dedication
What do palliative care specialists really do? Concrete, easy to understand explanations from a palliative care physician by day, wife and mother by night, and a fellow human being 24/7.
2024-02-18 04:12
Sometimes misunderstanding between a healthcare provider and their patient can really alter the course of the patient's medical care.
In this ,,video, I describe specific examples as well… Read More
2023-12-11 01:00
“I don’t think Mom should drive anymore. I tell her, but she doesn’t listen to me!”
When I used to conduct palliative care home visits (read ,Post 1: What Exac… Read More
2023-10-23 05:09
You'll likely consider multiple factors when making major medical decisions, such as whether to start, continue, change, or pause with cancer therapy. I share with you here ,a story and a p… Read More
2023-08-14 05:06
When it comes to knowing what to say or what to do with a friend or acquaintance who is deeply grieving loss, I would probably feel just as unsure as the next person.
In fact, I might be te… Read More
2023-07-18 01:06
If you'd like an audio version of Post 1: What Exactly Does a Palliative Care Specialist Do?, check out this YouTube video Read More
2023-06-20 13:05
A palliative care social worker once commented to me, “You know what I hear most often when I suggest legacy projects?...‘I wish I’d known about these much sooner.’&r&hell…Read More
2023-05-22 14:21
"At this time, knowing what you know about your medical condition, what is most important to you?"
When a palliative care physician asks this question (read Post 1: What Exactly Does a Pall… Read More
2023-05-09 04:07
I wanted to let you know of changes up ahead:
I'm reducing blog posts to once or twice monthly for the time being.
I've decided to let go of the one minute videos because I've struggled t… Read More
2023-05-01 16:49
The ebook for Own Your Care: A Family Guide to Navigating Complex Illness, Changing Health, or Unexpected Prognosis will be reduced to $0.99 on Amazon from May 5 to May 9, 2023!
Click bel… Read More
2023-04-24 16:50
How would you feel if you entered a restaurant expecting quality service and attention...and then you experienced the following?
Hostess: (pointing to a table in front of her) This is you… Read More
2023-04-09 03:38
Own Your Care: A Family Guide to Navigating Complex Illness, Declining Health, or Unexpected Prognosis is a Number 1 New Release and Bestseller on Amazon!Below is an excerpt from the introdu… Read More
2023-04-04 13:38
“She’s getting better!” Ruben emphatically exclaimed, as he grasped his wife’s hand.
Dr. Les, the palliative care specialist meeting Cathy for the first time, aske… Read More
2023-03-27 13:57
What kind of environment stunts the growth of patience and compassion?
Check out this minute video (Facebook or Instagram) Read More
2023-03-18 20:52
Palliative care is optimally provided by multiple experts (for example, physician, nurse, social worker, and chaplain) working as part of a team, in which case questions that are missed by o… Read More
2023-03-05 14:29
I'll be taking the time to be with family during spring break, and I'll post again in two weeks.
I should by then have a link to preorder Own Your Care: A Family Guide to Navigating Compl… Read More
2023-02-27 05:26
A patient once surprised me with her request. "I don't want to know the results of my CT scan right now. I hope you don't think that's cowardly of me."
Hear my response in this one minute… Read More
2023-02-21 06:48
“I couldn’t believe the surgeon was so upset! The patient was 80 years old, he was frail, and he didn’t want major surgery. He just wanted medications for his bowl obstru… Read More
2023-02-12 21:47
I see almost every day as a palliative care physician patients receiving the medical treatments or procedures that they ask for or agree to, but feeling frustrated, anxious, or "stuck" becau… Read More
2023-02-06 00:09
Let me tell you a story a palliative care leader once told her audience to make a point.
“Three days ago, my mom went to the same hospital she’d been admitted to the year befo… Read More
2023-01-27 15:05
One of the communication skills of a palliative care physician is to be able to "actively listen" to patients, caregivers, and other healthcare providers. However, "actively listening" does… Read More
2023-01-16 14:42
"He had a heart attack? HE had a HEART ATTACK? He just ran a marathon last month! We thought the chest pain was indigestion! What does this mean? Does this mean he could have another he… Read More
2023-01-08 21:04
As a palliative care physician, I guided thousands of family meetings and honed certain communication skills. What is one skill I brought home with me from work?
Watch my minute video resp… Read More
2022-12-24 13:43
I wish you many meaningful moments with family and friends this holiday season. I will post my next video in two weeks. Grateful for 2022, and looking forward to 2023! Read More
2022-12-19 06:48
The discussion forums for the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine have recently been dominated by heated reactions to the recent New Yorker article "How Hospice Became a For… Read More
2022-12-12 13:36
For a patient story on gratitude and a reminder to all of us that often what we think we have to do is actually what we get to do, watch this short video (Facebook or Instagram)! Read More
2022-12-07 05:31
A “sliding doors moment” is a seemingly inconsequential moment that ultimately changes the trajectory of future events in a dramatic fashion (read ,Post 71: How Palliative Care C… Read More
2022-11-19 14:12
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, this is a personal post about making myself feel gratitude throughout 2022 - even if I had to get creative, search high and low, step out of my comfort zone… Read More
2022-11-13 02:08
Check out my one minute video response on Facebook or Instagram Read More
2022-11-07 17:04
At least a couple times a year, I sit with a new patient who is undergoing surgery, radiation, and/or chemotherapy and who turns still with shock when I question, "Can I ask what the doctors… Read More
2022-10-31 15:00
Sometimes, we know our loved one could use help at home for a defined time period, for example after recovering from a procedure or after having a baby. Other times, we wonder if our loved… Read More
2022-10-23 15:22
I hear doctors comment that their colleagues feel like they have failed in the face of impending death of one of their patients (though I have not really heard a doctor admit this for themse… Read More
2022-10-17 04:12
What's the big deal about having a medical power of attorney?
Check out my response in this one minute video on Facebook or Instagram Read More
2022-10-09 11:45
Sometimes family members will comment, "He's still crying off and on since his wife died last month" and follow up with, "Can you prescribe something for him?"
Wherever there exists a relat… Read More
2022-10-02 03:56
How can the best medical care for me be different from the best medical care for you?
Check out my one minute video on goals of care (a.k.a. "the whole point of why someone is on the medica… Read More
2022-09-26 14:09
"Can you recommend any books I can read with my kids to help me talk about dying?" is a question I occasionally hear during a palliative care visit (read Post 1: What Exactly Does a Palliati… Read More
2022-09-18 01:25
"I Google'd palliative care, and I still don't get exactly what you do."
Check out this one minute video (Facebook video or Instagram video)
for specific examples of how a palliative care… Read More
2022-09-10 13:23
A “sliding doors moment” is a seemingly inconsequential moment that ultimately affects the trajectory of future events in a dramatic fashion (read ,Post 71: How Palliative Care C… Read More
2022-09-04 18:24
Does legacy have to be something you can physically see, hear, touch, taste, or smell?
Check out the latest one minute Real Palliative Care legacy video (including animation!) at
https:/… Read More
2022-08-28 12:38
If we have always equated taking medications with protecting our health – “Take your blood pressure pills. It’ll decrease your risk of heart attack.” – then we… Read More
2022-08-23 19:58
I'm leaping out of my comfort zone and posting one minute videos on Facebook and Instagram. The videos will contain content similar to those in the Real Palliative Care blog.
You may not… Read More
2022-08-16 03:47
Writing this entry is a means of letting out and letting go of one of my frustrations as an advocate.
I consider any of us attempting to find help in any form - information, service, guid… Read More
2022-08-06 14:54
A sense of purpose. Sometimes this may be our primary source of strength, endurance, and resiliency at a time when health issues and medical diagnoses start to affect all areas of our lives… Read More
2022-07-19 02:57
A “sliding doors moment” is a seemingly inconsequential moment that ultimately affects the trajectory of future events. In this post, I begin a patient story (written in italics… Read More
2022-07-11 02:53
"I always thought I was brave and a go getter, that I could handle just about anything. But I don't want to know the CT scan results. I hope you don't think that's cowardly of me."
A pat… Read More
2022-06-26 11:40
Some health or medical issues can be managed with relatively straightforward treatment plans:
"I agree to surgery to fix this fractured ankle."
"I consent to the cardiac catheterization… Read More
2022-06-20 03:12
We have probably felt demoralized at certain points in our lives:
- receiving a "Needs Improvement" on an annual evaluation from your supervisor/manager/boss despite putting in long hours on… Read More
2022-06-03 20:16
I will be posting every 1-3 weeks during June and July due to intermittent family trips or camps and will likely resume posting weekly in August.
If you have any questions or comments, pl… Read More
2022-05-31 03:06
Doctors often provide best case scenarios. The best case is what they are hoping for, and it is what they feel most comfortable relaying to patients. No one wants to be the bearer of bad n… Read More
2022-05-22 17:54
Patient: I have my will, my living will, my Directive to Physicians, and my durable power of attorney. I have everything! There's nothing more you can recommend, right?
Palliative care ph… Read More
2022-05-16 00:43
"Staying positive" and "being optimistic" are probably two big ways to keep motivated in making the best of each day and working towards a "better" future - however you envision "better" to… Read More
2022-05-08 23:22
Dad: I feel dizzy when I take that blood pressure medicine.
Me: Did you tell your doctor? She can change the dose, frequency, or the medication itself… Read More
2022-04-29 19:15
Certain words seem to inspire strong instinctive emotional responses when expressed among patients, family members, doctors, nurses, and healthcare providers. One such word is "miracle."… Read More
2022-04-23 14:13
When I used to do home palliative care visits (read Post 1: What Exactly Does a Palliative Care Specialist Do?), I would often see patients soon after their return from a hospitalization or… Read More
2022-04-16 14:08
I stepped into the patient's home as the man behind the door said, "I'm so glad you're here. I don't know what to do." He shut the front door and extended his arm to the sitt… Read More
2022-04-11 00:47
Sometimes people ask, “What happens if I don’t want CPR, breathing tube, or machines if my heart stops, but I'm okay with the breathing tube and whatever it takes for me to get t… Read More
2022-04-04 04:26
Have you ever made decisions "in the heat of the moment" and later shook your head asking yourself, "What was I thinking?"
"Normally I wouldn't buy that, but at the time the Costco sample… Read More
2022-03-01 12:05
I'm prioritizing
- rewriting the latest draft of my book (guidebook/ support book for anyone adapting to live with big changes in their health)
- taxes
- spring break with the kids.
In t… Read More
2022-02-19 15:07
"Why would my mom lie to me about her fall? Why would she hide this?"
I sat next to the 74 year old woman. Rose was a new patient, and she answered questions like "How are you doing?" and… Read More
2022-02-14 00:54
"Well, I'm glad we talked about options. Hospice sounds like it could give us what we're looking for, but I don't know...it's 'hospice.' I know it's just a word, but it's scary."
Someti… Read More
2022-02-05 16:49
"Don't say the 'h' word!" the daughter exclaimed.
"Um...what is the 'h' word?" I asked.
"Hospice," she whispered… Read More
2022-01-24 14:15
"I'm wearing my fighting clothes," the woman remarked to me as she watched her cousin walk towards our designated meeting place from the opposite end of the hallway. We were about to hold a… Read More
2022-01-15 15:40
Honestly, you really do not need to know the definition of the healthcare phrase "goals of care" in order to advocate for the best possible medical care for yourself or your loved one (read… Read More
2022-01-10 05:33
Most people do not want to go to the hospital. There is a lot of stopping and going in the emergency room, where you might have to wait hours in an uncomfortable bed shivering in the cold… Read More
2021-12-24 16:54
Thank you for visiting the site. I hope you find posts that are helpful to you. I will be hanging out with family and resuming posts January 8-9, 2022. Wishing you much love, calm, peace… Read More
2021-12-20 15:09
I meet Ms. A, a frail 80 year old woman, at her first palliative care appointment (read Post 1: What Exactly Does a Palliative Care Specialist Do?). When I ask her what she has been told ab… Read More
2021-12-12 17:08
Sometimes it seems that we medicalize unpleasant or undesirable aspects of being a human being. One that comes to mind is grief. Concerned family members may feel helpless when they see th… Read More
2021-12-06 05:16
(Many thanks to Erin Nielsen, LCSW, of The Holding Group and Magdalena Belgie, LMSW, for their expert input with this post!)
"The nutrition shakes, the incontinence pads...they add up! Can… Read More
2021-11-29 03:31
In the spirit of Thanksgiving weekend, I wanted to take a moment to express gratitude with the work I do. Sometimes I am moved by the moment, and gratitude comes naturally in a situation… Read More
2021-11-20 16:26
"Mom, you can move in with me," the daughter exclaimed, "You know this."
"You're already so busy," her mother replied, "and I don't want to be a burden."
Hearing… Read More
2021-11-15 16:21
Who do I tell if I want my organs donated after I die?
Though this topic is not typically brought up in a palliative care conversation (read Post 1: What Exactly Does a Palliat… Read More
2021-11-07 14:03
The particular nouns, adjectives, and verbs we choose to describe ourselves and our lives can alter how we see ourselves and our circumstances. They can result in a perspective that influenc… Read More
2021-10-31 18:42
There is more to eating than what someone ingests. Eating is important for obtaining nutrition, and eating usually also holds strong personal meaning for us. Ensuring that a loved one eats i… Read More
2021-09-19 03:20
I am creating two new continuing education classes - one regarding the practical relevance of having a completed medical power of attorney and another following the research trail demonstrat… Read More
2021-09-13 00:19
Palliative care is a young medical specialty, born from the realization that people dealing with serious illness, and their family members, sometimes need support and guidance beyond medical… Read More
2021-09-05 23:28
The palliative care medical subspecialty is relatively young. The World Health Organization officially recognized palliative care as a specialty in 1990, and palliative care officially beca… Read More
2021-08-30 12:52
When a person has to adjust to living with a long term or serious illness, advanced disease, or worsening health, those closest to them find that they are living with the illness too. Famil… Read More
2021-08-23 01:54
"I moved in to help my parents. I thought my sister in law would keep coming over to help one day a week, but she stopped as soon as I moved in. My brother pays the bills, which helps, but… Read More
2021-08-16 04:08
"Are you here to evaluate my mom for provider services? She needs someone to help her clean the house, do the laundry, and cook. She can't even step into the tub by herself. She needs physic… Read More
2021-08-09 00:18
I count 1, 2, 3, and push myself up from the recliner, grabbing onto the handles of my walker positioned in front of me. I pause in my standing position, take a deep breath, and adjust to th… Read More
2021-08-01 14:47
Before I started working as a palliative care physician (read Post 1: What Exactly Does a Palliative Care Specialist Do?), I worked as a hospitalist. A hospitalist is an physician who takes… Read More
2021-07-24 12:48
"I admitted Mr. D, a gentleman with moderate to severe dementia last night. He has pneumonia and respiratory failure. I asked Mr. D's family if they wanted 'everything done' including heroic… Read More
2021-07-19 03:09
"She didn't use the Life Alert button when she fell! What am I going to do if this happens again? I've used up all my days staying with her after the first hospitalization."
"Your mom did… Read More
2021-07-11 14:29
"The doctor said months. What am I supposed to do with months?! I won't get to be a part of my children's stories. I won't get to meet my future grandchildren. Why would I want visitors? For… Read More
2021-07-02 15:17
"When you go in to talk to him, don't use the 'H' word."
"The 'H' word?" I asked as I quickly thought of every profanity in my vocabulary, "Um, I'm not sure what that is."
"Yes . . . hosp… Read More
2021-06-26 23:29
(We all experience denial at various points in our lives. Some moments may be short lived - the shock and disbelief in witnessing a sudden horrific crash - and some may last months or years… Read More
Subscribe to Real Palliative Care
Get updates delivered right to your inbox!