Before we look at problems, let’s visit human life as it should be. Nature’s normal environment.

We feel good. We feel our own power. We Love other people, some more than we value our own life, or our financial security. We love our friends, and we cherish being a part of such a wonderful group. We enjoy working, and we love to play. We are completely ourselves, and we don’t pretend anything, for anybody.

We are pretty much fearless. We are happy. The world is what it is, and that’s ok. We know we are going to die. If that’s part of life, then so be it. Our biggest concern is leaving those we love.

That’s nature’s way.

Life, the way it is for us now, is a sad parody.

People are in conflict from the moment they get up in the morning. Everybody competes with everybody else.

Is it fair to say that people feel powerless right now, and it’s getting worse?

Would most of us would agree that trust is a vanishing quality?

We have created a lonely, uncomfortable, and dangerous world.

What is causing all of this?

There is an answer. It’s not complicated.

It is just unexpected.

We cause it through our parenting.

For each of us, our early environment forms our lifelong social attitude!

That nails down our respect for ourselves and others, or lack of respect, for life.

If all of our children have no Respect, what sort of world will they create when their turn comes?

Well, here it is, do you like it?

The big question, is it necessary?

The answer, not at all. Unknowingly, we cause all of it.

For our lifetime, we will respect the needs of everybody exactly as much as our real needs were respected in infancy.

The trouble is, right now we don’t respect our children’s real and complete needs. We respect our own wishes instead. We take care of their bodies. We ignore their drive.

The results. They don’t respect the needs of others, because we didn’t respect theirs. They also don’t respect their own real needs after a while.

All of the resultant conflict is not about their own real needs. It’s about replacing their missing sense of importance.

An infant beginning life has a need beyond food, shelter, and love. Their own power will blast them into successful survival. That power is their self-esteem. They need that to feel good and feel powerful. Without it, they will become conflicted and needy.

We insist on obedience instead. This simple discrepancy is responsible for the conflict we live with throughout our world today.

Here is a warning. If a person remains on this blog for any length of time, there is no way they can resist at least some of these revelations. There is just too much evidence. It just makes too much sense. Once exposed, the process is way too clear and obvious. People’s seemingly erratic behaviors become understandable, including our own. After being pointed out, our deviation from nature’s way is obvious. Examples are all around us, and they all fit the same pattern.

For the bold and the brave, here we go.

The way we were accepted in our own beginning is the exact way we are going to accept, or not accept other people, throughout life.

Now really. Is that not predictable?

Racism? It starts here. Tolerance for others happens, or doesn’t happen, depending on that one thing. Were our efforts tolerated? Were our own feelings and wishes respected in infancy? If so, we respect others. The color of other people never mattered. The need to respect, or disrespect others was always the driving force. When we felt the need to disrespect, we had to find a focus, and other people’s color is an obvious choice.

The whole world works to fix racism, and all the while the whole process is simply one of the a results of what we are doing.

Bullying? Same story. Any need to bully others comes from not having our needs and feelings respected at a very early age. Respect our needs, and we will never, ever become a bully. Disrespect them, and all the jail time in the world is not going to fix our feelings! We have anger. We have resentment. What do you suppose we are going to do with those feelings?

Once disrespected, we will disrespect others throughout our life.

Every bully was bullied. That is so easy to see. Bully’s like to pretend they have to parent with discipline. It’s really anger, and it’s really their outlet for their own damage.

Every other social problem? Same answer. Fix the beginning, and the problem never happens.

It does make sense, doesn’t it?

Sad though it is, we have listened to our “experts” and our ways of upbringing have changed.

People cannot be blamed. We all want to do our best.

Our cultural wisdom has died a horrible death.

What we are doing is no longer what infants actually need!

It is so easy to see those many times their heart was broken. We have been taught to ignore it as unimportant.

Tragically wrong! It is critically important. The sum total of those moments is what drives the craziness in our world.

Nature’s way is to support all new life. The inherent power and drive of the new life is encouraged and helped. All new life blossoms through their own inner drive.

If treated nature’s way and supported in their own efforts, there are no sobbing the heart out moments. It just doesn’t happen. Cooperation, and a craving to please is what happens.

All of nature supports, but mankind has become the exception.

It didn’t start out this way, but we now regard our infants as incomplete. We see them as empty vessels.

We believe they await our wisdom, and our instructions.

Now really, does that sound like Mother Nature?

We are wrong! We can’t do that. They are not empty vessels, any more than any other living thing is.

They are already complete, just like everything else. With assistance, not guidance, the infant who is already here, will develop into a complete human being.

If left to develop down their own path, they will be everything we love.

Every living thing already has a predetermined path of development. If allowed that freedom there will be no inner trauma, no excessive body tension, and no competition for a sense of importance, which already exists naturally.

The inner power of an infant is easy to see. Watching that disappear is deeply sad for all of us.

Their rocket powered development, before there is enough communication for us to interfere, is spectacular. They blast through learning to walk and talk, all on their own. Can you imagine how difficult that all is?

They only slow down when we block their efforts toward doing life on their own terms.

Nature’s way is to support that determination in every way. It gets assisted and encouraged, sometimes even pushed a little. Support continues with every failure. Engagement with life is encouraged.

Children who are treated in nature’s way keep their power, and their infinite confidence.

Those children allowed enough room to grow through their own power will love us to death, and we can’t help loving them till our heart hurts. They are the special ones.

Their first goals will be survival, love and trust with their important others, and play. They will feel completely good, and there will be no psychosomatic stresses on their happiness or their health.

If left in this condition, these will be happy, cooperative, non-destructive, loving, wonderful people. The ones we all cherish.

This is nature’s way.

Mankind’s way is to start a fight.

We disallow every infants attempts to function on their own.

And we pay for it. Racism, wars, drunk driving, bullying, anxiety, and everything else is simply the result.

Did dictators have a happy childhood, with lots of freedom to develop through their own drive? What do you think?

Silly question. We know they were controlled. Damaged until they lost respect for everything and everybody, including their own feelings!

What exactly happens when we object to a child’s personal burst of progress?

What changes when we overlay our program right on top of theirs, over their inherent chosen path?

This is, of course, disrespect to their real needs.

Some changes, after our interference are easy to see.

Their happiness crumbles. Lots of sobbing and despair happens.

They hurt. They continue to keep trying to progress through their own drive. They find they are always wrong. They are told so. They believe in us, their caregivers, and consequently they conclude there must be something wrong with themselves. When disciplined, they mistakenly come to believe they shouldn’t have their own selfish energy, as well as their inappropriate feelings, wishes, and resentment.

They know that to give up their power means to lose everything important within themselves. Their heart is broken. Their inner glow of pure happiness fades. Their pure and natural face begins to show a difference. It’s not genuine any more.

This is what genuine looks like.

That purity of feeling is not supposed to change. It usually does though. Is it clear that it changes the most in those with the most damage?

Happiness turns to hurt, confusion, and eventually defiance or complete surrender. When anybody feels this helpless and confused, defiance comes easily.

This is all wrong. People in therapy find their way back to childhood issues. Why would that be? Because that’s where the trouble started?

By parenting the way we do, we cause immense sadness and endless hurt, on both sides.

Unfortunately, it gets even worse.

It is the next thing we do that causes the world to be as crazy as it is.

Our habit of overwriting an infants basic drive causes a lot of frustration, anger, and confusion. Of course the young object. There will be brokenhearted sobbing, and acting out.

If things were to stop here, the situation wouldn’t get any worse. There is still opportunity to repair damage. Cause and effect could still be worked out, with a little care.

But we censor the expression of the young.

Now, we have done it!

All life has to be fully expressive. There can be nothing held back. It is nature’s way. All life has to have the freedom to express everything.

Interfere with that, and the roof caves in.

Every living thing absolutely requires complete expression!

Anything unexpressed never goes away. It gets stored inside. It causes pressure. It causes stress. It causes psychosomatic issues.

This process is called repression.

When it happens to people, they don’t reveal these experiences later. This situation usually remains for life.

The feelings get stored.

The belief that there is something wrong with us causes us to keep these feelings and experiences secret.

We are not going to share anything like that. Doing it would be frightening, shameful, and painful.

Every time an experience with feeling gets concealed inside us, expression of that same feeling in every other similar situation immediately becomes impossible. We have lost that feeling. It is now a blank spot in our conscious life.

Yes, it is serious.

We can now be blind to feelings. We don’t see another’s pain.

Please notice, if we don’t derail the infants inner drive in the first place, there are no outbursts that we have to put a stop to. Repression never happens!

Does it make sense that being in a condition of some repression, we would feel unimportant, and helpless? After all, we were.

Our entire drive into competence was disallowed, and we were caused to feel we were wrong to even object.

Our childhood caused us to feel unimportant!

Does that sound right?

Is that how it should be?

Now, does nature do anything that way?

Of course not. Nature would never encourage dependency.

Nature is all about competence.

Is man smarter that Mother Nature?

Not likely.

Would these left over feelings of unimportance cause us to compete for recognition?

Of course they do.

This is the reason for everybody’s mad scramble to be on top. No amount of success however could ever hope to overpower that helplessness of believing something is basically wrong with us.

Our childhood sentenced us to struggle for importance, for a lifetime!

The fallout that happens, goes on until death.

When enough of us are in this condition, the world becomes what it is now.

We make the world the way it is!

This blog is clarity-of-innocence.com. There are many posts.

My job is to present a picture, make it as accurate as possible, and update it with any better understanding. What others choose to believe is always up to them.

If anyone has any further insight, I welcome considering it.

The next few posts explores our condition after suffering through early experiences, and what, if anything can be done about it.