Psychologists focus on two points when explaining depression. The first is how we attach meanings to events and our emotions. For one person, divorce is a tragedy, for another it is salvation. For some people, anger feels powerful, while for others, anger is frightening. The second point is how we deal with the challenges we face. Some people struggle to solve their problems with the manageable blueprints they use, seek help from others, make plans to overcome difficulties, while others feel overwhelmed, do not share their troubles and prefer to avoid problems.
How we interpret events and how we deal with them are the key points of the treatment we call cognitive therapy. The approach of cognitive therapists is as follows. For example, if an apple fell on your head and you were depressed, you might think: 'If I'm sitting under a tree, it's natural for something to happen to me'. If you're an optimistic person, you say, 'Thank God it's not a coconut'. If you are a Newton, you will discover gravity and become world famous.
Cognitive therapy helps us see that there are hundreds of meanings that can be attributed to events, some of which are meanings that increase the likelihood of developing depression. More importantly, when we learn to challenge Negative emotions, we begin to take better control of our emotions and moods.
According to the cognitive approach, there is a different way of thinking for all kinds of problems.
PROBLEM...Panic
IDEA...I'm going to die from these signs of tension
PROBLEM...Social phobia
IDEA...I'll do something to make myself look stupid and everyone will blame me
PROBLEM...Depression
IDEA...I am a bad/weak/incompetent person, I have no hope for the future
PROBLEM...Paranoia
IDEA...People follow me
PROBLEM...Anger
IDEA...Other people are bad and deserved to be punished.
By focusing on thoughts about various problems, people will see how their depressed moods lead them to interpret events negatively. Cognitive therapy allows people to test facts about their thoughts and generate alternatives. For example, we may feel powerless and frustrated at problem solving, thinking that bad events are caused by our personal inadequacies or simply by bad luck. By learning how to test the accuracy of these thoughts, thinking of alternatives, avoiding harmful negative beliefs about ourselves (like I'm a useless person), we can feel better when we are depressed and cope with external problems more easily.
So depression is a period when we have different ways of thinking. This begs another question. How do we start thinking negatively in the first place?
OUR PREVIOUS LIVES AND SETTLEMENT BELIEFS
Previous experiences make people biologically susceptible to certain stressors. According to the cognitive approach, we develop basic and core beliefs about ourselves, the world, and others during our youth. As time passes, these core beliefs begin to influence our thinking and our approach to certain events. For example, if children are constantly told that they are not good at sports, they will develop such a point of view about themselves. Because they think like this, they will stay away from sports, so they will not be able to improve themselves in this regard and this thought will be reinforced. These children will continue to stay away from sports when they become adults, giving up because they think they will look funny or fail when they think of trying again. Such early-acquired beliefs have powerful effects on people's feelings and behavior later in life.
CORE BELIEFS
The core belief is the belief that you consider to be your foundation. For example, I know this, I say this, I sincerely believe that..., it just feels like this... When these beliefs come to life, they bring with them strong emotions and feelings. If we fail, we may feel inadequacy or feel shame. It is the emotions that strike us first, and we realize later that these emotions stem from our core beliefs and thoughts about ourselves. When our lover ends the relationship, we start to think about where we went wrong. If you have negative thoughts about yourself from childhood, the emotional shock of the end of the relationship will activate these negative core thoughts and you will have a deep feeling that you are not loved, and you will take a blow from here.
Our negative thoughts about ourselves or some of our abilities may have entered a waiting period to be revived later. But if some important events occur, such as the end of a valued relationship, these thoughts and ideas that we formed in our childhood come back again. Then, under the influence of our core beliefs and sadness about this separation, we comment that "this relationship is over because I am not a person worthy of love" . A negative thought developed long ago has an impact on our interpretation of current events, negative interpretation of new information reinforces old negative thoughts. Our thoughts can make it easier for us to get depressed. When we get depressed and stressed, our thoughts start to become more negative and we get a little more depressed.
THE ROLE OF EARLY TRAUMA
One of the important reasons why some individuals do not understand their own values is the painful experiences they had in their childhood. For example, if they have been sexually abused, the belief that sex is bad, dirty, and dangerous may develop. Sometimes they think that they are dirty or that their sexual desires are dangerous. After all, trauma affects their sex life and prevents them from feeling better.
Sometimes parents can't cope with frustration, and when blood pressure rises, they blame the children, giving them some names. This is painful for children. Because it's hard for them to understand that it's because their parents have lost their tolerance for frustration, they start to blame themselves and think they're really bad. Sometimes parents do not show physical closeness to their children. One of the saddest things is that there are still families who think that physical closeness to the child, especially the boy, will make them sissy.
Lovelessness and excessive control
Studies have shown that when depressed people look back, they find that they lacked love in their early life. Families may have high expectations and controlling attitudes. Because when we are children, most of us cannot see that our parents may have their own problems, and we think that some of their behaviors are the result of our own mistakes. If they are constantly critical of us, we continue this custom and begin to criticize ourselves constantly. With insight and some effort, we can change some of our habits and be more flexible with ourselves.
RELATIONS AND SOCIAL NEEDS
Lack of positive experiences such as love, attention and protection can cause depression. The reason for this is that our brain needs certain levels of positive information input and reduces the stress level by secreting some chemicals. There are some common situations in which all people in the world feel happy or unhappy.
Situations that create happiness
..to be loved and wanted
..be close to others
..To be accepted and to belong
..having friends
..belong to a group
..Being valuable in the eyes of others
..to be appreciated, to be admired
..Attractive to others and to yourself
..Having a status and being respected
Situations that cause unhappiness
..to be disliked and disliked
..To be abandoned
..disapproval
..be friendless
..be excluded
..have little value in the eyes of others
..not being appreciated
..Not appearing attractive to others and to yourself
..Losing status or being forced into a lower status
The above list is associated with low stress hormone levels. These are feel-good things. The following list is about increased stress. The brain craves things that feel good. People who achieve this are socially successful people who can do what others cannot. These people are more likely to survive and pass on their genes to the future. So, we are biologically inclined to do the things listed above and avoid the following. Social success is linked to our emotions. The more our thoughts shift towards the list below, the more unhappy we become.
