Why Does My Boyfriend Hate Me? Plus What You Can Do About It
“Why does my boyfriend hate me?”
If you find yourself asking this question then all is definitely not well in your Relationship. A relationship that was going so well this minute might take a downward turn the next.
Luckily, as women, we can sense when things are not as they should be. Your gut feeling or inner alarm will always alert you to this change so you can decide on the next best course of action to take.
When a relationship stops being as happy and fulfilling as it should be, it’s always confusing to know if it has ended or if it’s just experiencing some hurdles that need to be worked on.
If you are unsure if your new or long-time Boyfriend hates you, there are always signs that will clear this doubt.
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Signs Your Boyfriend Hates You
How do I know if my Boyfriend Hates me or if this change stems from something else?
Here are some clear signs that are never wrong
- Your boyfriend becomes withdrawn and distant. Once, you both couldn’t do without spending some quality time with each other. Now, he finds one reason or the other to stay away and often too.
- He often makes threats to walk away. He drops this bombshell often, either to scare you into giving more than your fair share to the relationship or to control you.
He might also be subtle about it and flirt with other girls, even with you around. Watch out for a man who openly flirts with other girls or celebrates them when he doesn’t need to. This might be his way of rubbing it in your face he’s still got game
- He criticizes you often. Suddenly, nothing you do seems right anymore.
This habit might have started out subtle with him trying to make like he wants the best for you. However, it has slowly developed into full-blown criticism that happens often and anywhere.
- He cheats on you and doesn’t care about hiding it. He makes like you would never leave him and he can do just as he pleases.
- He bails on spending time with you. He’s become quite busy and you both hardly get the chance to spend quality time together.
- He’s become violent and abusive. He was never like this, but suddenly, he can’t keep from abusing you, emotionally or otherwise. He might apologize immediately but this doesn’t change how bad it makes you feel.
- He disregards your feelings and opinions. He once put you first when making decisions, but now couldn’t care less.
Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Hates You
Now that you’ve confirmed your boyfriend truly does hate you, this can make you wonder what went wrong and when this decay started.
Of course, it’s easy to conclude that if you’d seen this downward spiral in our relationship soon enough you would have easily nipped it in the bud.
However, it isn’t exactly late to effect the changes you want and you can achieve this by knowing exactly why your boyfriend turned away from you.
Here are some of the more common reasons why he might have made the switch:
1) He’s Under a Lot of Pressure
Most men naturally withdraw into themselves when under immense pressure. At such times, they are walking through a solution in their heads, looking for a way out.
Your man might be facing a tough time at the office, trying to solve a situation, or just generally facing one other challenge or the other. Since men find it a bit hard to multitask as women do, the logical step for him was to withdraw his attention from everywhere else and channel this into solving the issue at hand.
2) You’ve Done Something Wrong
You might also have done something wrong that made him pull away.
Several things could make your once-loving boyfriend make that gradual withdrawal:
- A new relationship that gets hit with too many issues too soon. He could come to see you as having too much baggage and decide to make a fast retreat the best choice.
- You could have hurt him in the past and apologized and while he forgave you, the memories sometimes creep to the fore to roughen the smooth edges of your relationship.
3) He Feels Smothered
It could also seem like your boyfriend hates you if he’s starting to feel smothered by it all.
Spending every waking moment together might seem like a lot of fun at the beginning, but soon it can start to get too much.
Your boyfriend might feel like he needs to come up often for air and this will make him withdraw a lot more.
4) He’s Interested in Someone Else
Or he just might be interested in some other woman.
He might still love you and still want to be with you but find himself getting drawn to someone else. In such a case he might remain his loving self, but would also appear distracted often.
5) You Get Jealous Often
You could have one trait or the other he doesn’t exactly find appealing, hence his trying to make a withdrawal.
Read Also:How to Find a Boyfriend
6) He’s Unsure of Where He Stands
If our boyfriend is unsure of where he stands with you, then he may make a withdrawal himself.
If he feels like your heart isn’t fully with him or you are still undecided about being exclusive, then he might see the need to also shield his heart.
7) He’s Lost Interest in You
Also, while this is usually hard to swallow, your boyfriend might be acting like he hates you becomes in some light ways he truly does.
He might not exactly ‘hate’ you, however, he’s lost interest in the relationship and doesn’t know how to pass this across.
Since some men would rather tell a woman of their loss of interest via their actions, he’s also chosen this path.
With him being less loving, snapping at anything you say, bailing on your date plans at the last minute, among some other equally painful actions, the conclusion is you would get the message and make a move on.
8) He’s Unconcerned About Your Emotional Needs
It could also seem that way if he cares very little about your emotional needs.
Depending on his reason for being with you, your boyfriend might decide it’s no longer worth it putting that much effort into your relationship.
9) He’s Naturally Abusive
Your boyfriend might just be a meanie who loves to play mind games. He will try to control you in the relationship by giving affection and then withholding it when sometimes.
Read More: 7 Ways to Find a Great Boyfriend
What to Do When You Confirm Your Boyfriend Hates You
Knowing the next step to take would depend on why his feelings changed in the first place.
Some reasons would require a soft approach and others, you taking a hard decision.
Here are some steps you can take if you discover your boyfriend hates you:
1) Have a Heart to Heart with Him
You want to have a sit down to discuss what went wrong in the relationship and possible solutions to it.
Having a discussion is also mandatory as it sets things in clear pictures. You may have concluded logically, however, your boyfriend might have an entirely different reason for the sudden change in his attitude, and only by discussing can you both arrive at the truth.
2) Work with Him
If the change is coming from pressure from work or a difficulty in another area of his life, then you want to show your support at this time.
Support at this time could be in any form and would depend solely on the issue at hand as well as your man.
3) Set Boundaries
If your boyfriend is acting up due to issues from his past or just generally being mean, then you want to set rules in place.
Everyone deserves to be treated with love and respect. If you are doing this to him, then he should reciprocate in full measure.
You should let him know you would be settling for no less affection than you deserve.
4) Take a Walk
If he refuses to effect the change you seek or you discover he’s acting up because he wants out, then you should give him that.
There would be very little point in trying to be with someone who clearly wants to be somewhere else. You’d be better off freeing up that space and giving yourself the chance to be with someone who loves and wants you.
Tags: why does my boyfriend hate me suddenly? Why does my boyfriend hate me now?
