[ Music] well call the police oh we are the police what do you mean you’re all looking at me what do you entail i’m asleep in my power again chris this is your last-place advice take these postings down and how did you get your bunked in the position i want you in the instruct area 10 instants ago but it’s my day off yeah all right okay i regret to inform you all that the bravo crew has led awol it is our job as suns to search for them and assist in any way possible we will rendezvous with them at the arclight mountains but don’t worry i’m sure they’re fine i have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking train now let’s gear up where’s chris can’t believe you dragged me out of bunked for this shit i speculation they’re falsify it “were having” photos they’re quite frightful[ Music] how did you get those uh regardles can’t mourn all the ruddy day let’s get going alpha team is flying around the forest so i’m situated in northwest bracken municipality where we’re searching for our teammates do a simple checkup duty without getting lost and having me get out of bed and three in the morning to look for them calm down no one’s happy to be here shut up bitch it was my day off alright now where was i ah bravo who disappeared in the middle of it did you find it more no operation no no brad no ludicrou murder lawsuits has now been occurred in racklum city there are outlandish reports of homes is under attack by an organization of about 10 beings casualties were apparently evil you want like zombies yes brad like zombies we were gonna build up to it gradually but you know your way works too awesome bravo team was referred in to investigate but we lost contact they didn’t even reply to any of our textbooks chris look okay people term for me to brief you on the stage at westcrest oh just leave because he says you’re a dumb chieftain you can’t do anything right and he would make a much better leader than you and he’s cooler ah did he now wow we’ll see how cool he is when i get my hands on him next are you sure you’re not making this up chris is usually such a good athletic and that your shadows are stupid ah we’ll see we’ll see who gets the last laugh at the end of this night yes we were weren’t we crying hey boss what did you make by that what you just said oh nothing joseph nothing at all now let’s gear up ah by the way now hold these dog considers in your pocket like a good gent who’s a good boy who’s a good son me yes you are you are yes croak go hunting the orbit go on[ Laughter] dumbass what the hell is wrong with you hey don’t evaluate me because i treat my crew of upkeep excuse me a second find anything jill i necessitate huh harry where did you come from oh i’ve always been here jill watching bravo team’s helicopter was a derelict save for the remaining body of kevin oh my god no oh my god not not kevin[ Music] who’s kevin i don’t know but that really really hurt are you are you crying no i’m just i just really really broken up about alex kevin kevin we continued our search for the other members chris can you please stop narrating jill was pmsing as usual what[ Music] what buster clue flying truly[ Music] scared where the hell is he leading let’s play i can still hit him calling my mention too late jill are you okay chris this way i convey chris this way told ya[ Music] there are only three superstars representatives left now captain wesker jill and myself we don’t know where barry is chaps i’m right here[ Music] oh well guess we’re all here where are we maybe it’s wait you’re all now jill be checked it out i’ll procure this area oh yeah send the only girlfriend exceedingly manly guys well i can’t route barry look at him this sandwich it’s missing something and chris well i have my reasons to keep him around well i’m not going alone geez penalty then chris you go but i don’t have a gun where’s your grease-gun chris all right all right chris and jill you go check out the dining hall i’ll secure this area barry you go entertain yourself fred and daphne you check out upstairs velma you go check the garden area and shag in scooby you go check the pantry[ Music] what evil intrigue got to go once soon the prows will pick them off one by one and we will have all the testage we need forgot my gun you got everything yeah think so then stop coming back in where was i ah yes we will have all the test data we need chris search oh sweet koolaid that was not koolaid i think i’m gonna be sick oh my god no oh my god not get it chris this is no time for menodramatic bullshit and stop plunging your artillery let me do it[ Music] what are you doing embed suggestion you’ll never know it was us pick it up now fine i’ll just say you did it let’s report back to wesker shit vanish go go back out and then come back ready ready come on where’s wesker chris help me look for him and let’s not leave this hole good idea[ Music] any prosperity what oh right western no no no i didn’t see western right we better split up you’re breaking up with me focus you moron you check the dining room again and i’ll check over there okay this mansion is huge we could easily get lost good thing they made a map of it for some reason see you later chris take care and jill if i don’t see you again i just like to say i don’t really care for you though i have thought about you sexually from time to time okay really didn’t think this through did i oh i don’t really care about you joe but sometimes i’m thinking about you sexually now and again oh well thanks for that shocking epitome chris why don’t you take that massive narcissism of yours and shove it right up your ass hello this is jill from bravo unit chris if you’re in here and you try and jump out and “re scared” i will shoot you in the face i swear down[ Music] huh oh oh oh my god how does he i don’t even no no no okay i’m done okay i’m done i don’t i i no ah i intend[ Music][ Music] i am the man who will fight for your honor i’ll be the superstar you’re dreaming up ow who are you i’m in love with you i represent i’m chris redfield yay chris thank god you’re here there’s something funny in the attic i want you to check it out with me are you coming on to me simply get in now okey dokey bounce hey what about me don’t worry my sweet rose i will come back for you just stay here and don’t you worry your little leader about it i’m not a babe and i was more worried about richard i came in like a chandelier yes my misery evil planned is coming to fruition chris if you got a weapon yeah duh all right let’s do this whoa richie richie shut up richard why well how am i gonna get unstuck now[ Music] chris is that you rebecca i thought i told you to wait for me yeah i wasn’t gonna do that never mind my sweetened petal i’m gonna carol you like penalty wine-coloured that doesn’t even make sense[ Music] well is a better love story than twilight or or or why joe oops well better sort this out daisy daisy gives people your answer[ Music] i’m half crazy[ Music] anything for you my sweetness anything else i should play my darling how about moonlight sombrero let me do it you moron[ Music] that’s beautiful just like you marry me nothing happened what a ripoff i entail i was at least expecting that wall over there to open up revealing a key we need to progress further into the mansion perhaps it was because you’re a little off with your e adolescent it was pretty shit just saying well clearly she can’t take criticism oh herb i was supposed to use these again do i do it do i eat it i’m gonna eat it this isn’t construction me feel better at all maybe it’ll kick in halfway through the next vistum ah they’ll never know it was me hey jill i followed this blood line up now to your accurate locating oh my god forest that is a nice forest oh my god human forest uh yeah he was beak to extinction by crows but those are bullet depressions uh um hey chris what’s this what what what is it it’s a artillery oh my god can i keep it give me give me give me sure thing buddy you see that jail his head came right off nailed it yes this should impede that progress quite nicely they don’t call me the master of unlocking for nothing oh shotgun god i’m never gonna feel empty after that hmm this piece of art would look much better downstairs god damn it where’s my chaos emerald i need them to become super chris[ Music][ Music] oh yeah i forgot there were zombies in this mansion joe jill barry barry can you call back barry’s not in right now marry over the fucking die hold on jill i’ll shoot the fastening off that’ll constitute you a chill sandwich[ Music] fucking barry motherfucker what the hell barry what the fuck is that was a close one good thing i was here right jill are you fucking serious whatever have you interpret officer wesker yes well which is why i he um he told me not to tell you barry i swear to god i’m going to murder you i wonder what chris is up to don’t think a transition will help you out okay everyone’s here yep good okay here’s the plan i was why don’t we just leave this mansion i symbolize do any of you actually like “hairs-breadth” i’m pretty sure he’s evil i’ve been observe knees everywhere and i’ve walked in on him twice talking about his evil plans to kill us all abusing monsters i entail there’s like what two maybe three puppies out there we could easily make them and just blow this whole joint well what are you waiting for people let’s[ Music] travel[ Music] so okay we don’t have to rush at the end but you more or less get the picture right i want what could go wrong let’s do this guys come on come on guys let’s make love for realsies gee immense clam rebecca what a fucking stupid idea your ass may be fine but your programs sure as hell aren’t okay here’s the plan chris you go check out the courtyard can rebecca come with me no rebecca you stay here you deter searching for wesco thank god i’m gonna go check the back field of this mansion got it uh what about me you could just stick around and don’t do anything stupid until we meet again my carbohydrate plum muffin yeah okay then hello hello is anyone there[ Music] who like these candles so weird what’s this i really enjoy living with mommy and father been playing around the mansion let my father construct quirky guys in suits made them away that maid was not my mommy give her face grisly being now watching you read my diary[ Music] meanwhile with chris okay the intricate propagandizing the bookshelf out of the way to reveal a ladder dilemma was a doozy but this hmm this is a real brain teaser hang on oh fuck me that’s cold well this is a this is nobrainer gold[ Applause][ Music] oh neat richard is why you shh i thought you died how did you exist[ Music] dangerously chris shut up this time red rejoice not again dammit you had your whole life ahead of you we’re so young oh richard calvin[ Applause] actually i think i’m going to be okay well this is awkward[ Applause][ Music] fuck that[ Music] time to check up on our test subjects dinners dad dad dead dead dead ah chris he’s always fun to watch fail huh well that’s not far worse fucking around fucking around[ Music] fuck that fuck that mortal this is really stressing me out maybe there’s a way i can make this easier of myself[ Music] oh cock[ Music] you know that tones a lot like oh one bad come in my action oh hey joe chris some mutilated little girl lashes on faces is chasing me that’s nothing i’ve seen beings sharks beings snakes giant spiders giant bees and monstrous weeds that’s five bitch oh fuck off did you that’s so conventional of you chris always trying to oneup everyone i is not i arrested two perps today slipping cocaine through the airport that’s nothing i arrested a entire meth laboratory today yeah i got promoted to lieutenant today that’s nothing i got promoted to president of america today hey somebody is that the new nintendo yeah i used to bought it today that’s nothing my dad works for nintendo oh shut up chris no one likes you well then i’m confiscating this as evidence so you see that’s why no one likes you huh no i didn’t hear wesker hmm it seems that progress is hindering my fruiting time to step it up it’s time for the hunters to become the hunted i’m so badass[ Music] who’s a good boy me yes you are you are now go turn kill them goodbye now don’t come back till then[ Music] motherfucker sorry jill this is for the best and by the best i imply me you’re dead chris you’re dead[ Music] then[ Music] again[ Music] joe get out here look look look it’s the monstrous serpent i was telling you about luke “i m telling you” his real examination never mind[ Music][ Music] this route again with the candles weird right oh god dammit i’m so sick of falling oh my god no oh my god not whoever’s in that coffin oh come on there’s no need to wreck the[ Music] joint oh hey guys barry what the hell are you doing in there oh you know i’m just taking a nap with this fine piece of ass what i don’t realize ah i’m actually a turncoat what you don’t understand it has to be this path but but why but why he has my family who yeah only consume five rounds of magnum ammo you know it’s not difficult to find or anything but you don’t have a family what you’re single and according to medical records you’re sterile as well well i approximate i’m a good guy again you guys go down there into the lab that’s what wesk is waiting for you i’m gonna stay up now and analyse nice huh wesker is evil guess i should have known i want do any of you actually like wesker i’m pretty sure he’s evil i’ve been conclusion these everywhere yes my ill evil strategy is coming to fruition what evil arrangement just go previously is everything all right people get into the chopper have an evil evil scheme to master my wrath all day to get it on well i approximate no one could see that one coming[ Music] this is it jill “re ready” jesus how long does it take to get to the secret laboratory when the acces is in the first chamber of the gory mansion advising interlopers identified in the entering lastly at long last my evil scheme is fruity is that a word it is now who would have thought there was a huge laboratory down here i know right so sleazy it totally clashes with the gothic architecture of the rest of the mansion chris looking after[ Music] you can see his clutter not bad for a zombie oh genuinely hey merely being honest i’m kind of jealous whatever whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what the hell joe you don’t only shoot a guy in a dick even if he is a zombie how would you like it if i shot you in the vag chris don’t employ that text what zombie shut up let’s explore this lab i tire from this shit it’s time to turn up the hot ah much better it was freezing in here now let’s get this party started with a blow hey jill ogle oh my god it’s forest that is a nice photo of a woodland oh my god zombie forest don’t shoot he’s got bottle strapped to his mas a zombie kamikaze that is genius ranged you don’t have to tell me twice chris run you moron oops sorry i guess you do have to tell me twice so get this back in i turned their dead teammate into a zombie and buckled so many bombards to him that if they shoot him the whole mansion will explode but if they shoot it by accident won’t you die too shit it’s no use he’s too fast we’ll never lose him not on my watch that’s bullshit i would have knocked out a ordinary being joe i swear to god if only i could remember what my father taught me daddy i got beat up at clas today lad what you want to do is take a bottle of hard liquor a cloth and a lighter and perform yourself a molotov cocktail set those bullies on fire okay it didn’t work the police simply stole it and placed me on fire and then i got expelled for starting a fight i have no sun hold on jill ah wait that’s not right make this oh woodland don’t worry he is fire now what whoever did this is one sick bastard turning our friends against us it’s obvious who did this yeah richard what he’s out for retribution because i let him die twice somehow you know what you’re wearying to be around let’s split up and pursuing these laboratories for wesker okay “theres going” that method i’ll check over there[ Music] alright i’m going bitch[ Music] oh holy crap i forgot about take it away free chemistry oh crap wait when did i last-place save fucking – god fucking damn it well here we go again[ Music] i’m not dying to you this time no no no no oh no i loved him like a son “ive never had” good nighttime dessert sovereign chris i will kill you chris should not have attempted a no save rolled huh what’s this warning the main ingredient of this fuel appears to be nitro compound function could lead to a lethal detonation so i have to run to make it more effective that is genius hey stupid zombie munch nitro god fucking damn it[ Music] probably should go save now there we go by repeatedly typing my identify and what area i’m in future generations will know the true terror we faced here today hmm guiding low-grade and storage opening better deposit some material hmm feel safe in now like nothing can kill me or go into a safe area if you will hey what’s in here hey it’s that ammo i couldn’t carry anymore earlier how did this get now what the hell hey jill are these safe caskets handy chris have you look wesker yes well which is why i he well i previous eye him in the main hall when we first got here before we heard that gunshot[ Music] chris can “i m asking you” something sure how did you make it into starrings how did you even get past school what the hell is a school stop attaining up commands jill i’ll killing yourself i will kill you uhoh ow this really hurts better consume a herb[ Music] oh yeah oh yeah that’s the stuff chris there you are what the hell are you doing don’t look at me you’re pathetic i know what are you still pissassing about if you’re not gonna use your time wisely then you’ll simply have to come with me so i can keep an eye on you okay mom hurry up i’m building suspense get up okay look chris wesker’s files this could be the evidence we need to have wesker taken down for his crimes against humanity you know what i don’t buy it wesker can’t be evil he’s my best friend he’s always been there for me and i don’t think he’s the kind of person to betray his friends are you are you serious chris you even declared he was evil twice already well i’ve changed my mind again let’s catch out shall we huh it needs a password don’t worry i’m a original hacker sugared now simply you watch jill this will prove that wesker is a good guy that’s clearly been photoshopped he was clearly accepted that was just a phase jill there’s a traitor in our midst and i’m gonna expose it to you jill right now the name of the traitor who has been betraying us since the very beginnings the call you all want to know that name that will shock the very foundation of this whole operation and i enrico mourini will disclose this crucial information to you jill valentine right now okay here it starts jill marie elizabeth valentine esquire opted the name of the traitor is are you ready for it it is i don’t remember that but do you view chris do you envision huh no i haven’t seen wesco what are you doing why are you wasting time reading lisa trevor records some of us are happy to get engrossed in the backstory of these things she’s a freaking monster that rends off faces and pursues people i don’t give a shit about her backstory that’s coarse joe who’s the real monster here no the real monster here is wesker and we need to find him right now okey dokey skip this is it jill again are you ready[ Music] are you unquestionably sure this is going to bring me back to life yes don’t you trust me well i relied you that penis enlargement serum and let’s just say i still can’t even see it anymore relax i did the research it will i’ll call you back run the test subjects are here well well well if it isn’t chris redfield and jill valentine or should i say chris deadfield and jill ah jill am still no longer alive that was the best you could come up with shut up how could you betray us wesker i thought we were bffs oh my god chris how many times do you have to find this out yes wesker is evil but why why wesker why it’s quite easy chris umbrella paid me a great deal of money to be a total asshole and get you all killed what laughable extents of fund are they compensating you wesker they gave me a fiver oh dessert you have been able get bundled pokemon posters with that exactly now enough of this banter it’s time to introduce you to umbrella’s greatest creation the ultimate life word dictator[ Music] aren’t you in hotshots why yes of course i am in adepts that was all part of my scourge scourge scheme wait oh oh adult this is really embarrassing you can’t kill me okay[ Music] why are we ranging his centre is like right outside on his chest exactly shoot it[ Music] huh that was easy in hindsight that was a really fatal design flaw come on chris let’s get out of now chris what don’t don’t go i don’t want to play anymore you’re cruelty and dying[ Music] come on jill it’s time to make like my first ever condom and divide in the future chris just say run barry thank god i perceived you we’ve got to get out of here where’s whisker he’s sleeping with the ultimate default am i right guys don’t leave me hanging we don’t have day for bullshit oneliners let’s go good doctrine okay what is he is he even human come on chris help me please rebecca rebecca hang on i’ll get you out of there no usage chris the door is locked close-fisted no no no damn it huh whoa i’m really good at punching material chris you you saved me you actually saved me this whole time i thought you were just so centered asshole we only cared about my organization but “youve been” do be concerned about me i’m so sorry chris for how i acted before and if you’d have me i’d like to be yours uh i’m gonna go set up the selfdestruct system you guys go do what you gotta do and i’ll see you later experience chris you can make a girl like you you’ve just gotta show some sorrow and valor i don’t like it she’s too clingy seriously this whole time you’ve been pining over her and when she lastly returns the feelings you don’t want it i know it’s weird right i approximate i’m just more interested in the pursue i i tell let’s go just this this is really exhausting me i hope rebecca gave us plenty of age before the mansion blows up i gave you three minutes babe you can see it ugh do you heard it said that she literally can’t leave me alone for five minutes so clingy three minutes that stupid bitch we’ll never make it out of here in time don’t worry chaps i got this you going ahead oh okay then you keep it up soldier quick the elevator manor is due to explode in less than three minutes you’ll best get the fuck out of here right immediate[ Music] excuse me gross wait did we even radio for the helicopter that would have been a smart idea i’m on the phone brad you’re completing total dildo how’s life been since you vacated us what did you even run from shit that does sound scary i mean they eat nuts after all and us soldiers are known for our nuts so listen could you uh shaking on back round and picking us up we’re on the roof next to a huge monster you can’t miss us okay fine i’ll be there in a minute but there better not be any squirrels he’ll be over in a minute that’s good now we’ve just got killed this asshole this is a jill the final battle let’s take this asshole down once and for all are you with me you hear me tyron your reign of terror missions now here use this[ Applause] hey brad saves the day i’m a hero i can’t wait to get home and tell my parents about this travel you asshole get back here and property the damn helicopter no you’re gonna smacked me if we lucky if you don’t get a bullet for your tied skull now get your ass down here right now no fine i won’t made you i don’t believe you i won’t fucking punch you now get down now you predict yes now this manor is going to blow in 15 seconds get down here now okay[ Music] hey people oh you said you were gonna hit me do you have any idea of the motherfucker you’ve settle us through let’s get out of now yeah jesus barry stop it now guy this has been a long day off wait oh fuck i got work in the morning aren’t we forgetting something guys you forgot me i think we should view other parties you’re too clingy[ Applause] rebecca richard i thought you were dead i was i came back for you prop me you know we’re not gonna make it out of this i know let’s enjoy our final instants together[ Music][ Music][ Music][ Music] is[ Music] animal why would you waste your time with the world if you don’t want to be animals[ Music][ Applause][ Music] you know i’m just glad it’s my day off tomorrow ah nice long day off wait what what does she get a day off that’s bullshit god fucking damn it don’t worry chris i’ll be at work too fuck off[ Music][ Music][ Music] this is far from over

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