You will agree with me that more than half the problem people face today is because they are constantly trying to be what they are not and imitating things that they are not comfortable with. In other words, if a lion tries to jump from tree to tree like a money the king of the jungle is bound to meet abject failure. A part of the problem also lies with our intention as well as our action that seek to copy others mindlessly without applying a considered thought whether it is in line with our own capability and interest or not. The fact that it suits others does not necessarily mean it will suit you and me. This idea does not enter one’s head, for if it did, the problem would not have been so grave and serious. Some of us don’t foresee that the other person might possess a skillset entirely different from your own that which empowers him or her to perform a particular job in the best possible way. He or she is capable of putting the act together but if the same job is performed by you or me, it will be a complete failure. Putting on an affected behaviour can please us for a while but cannot give us long-term happiness and peaceful existence in life. You would surely agree that we can lead a life of contentment by recognising who we are, our capabilities and by just being our self all the time. When people forget their own basic nature and character and start adopting things that are alien to them and lead a life of duplicity, they are bound to be unhappy. Even when we are well aware of this fact then why is it that we feign ignorance or remain oblivious of it. So, I am forced to ask, do we do it consciously and intentionally or just out of habit? What is the innate reason why do we practise it?

Sparing a serious thought on this issue yields that it could be out of our desire to project a bigger picture of our self or to become someone whom the world and society considers great or successful.  Some people have an uncanny habit of bragging and displaying wealthy credentials that actually do not exist. They have no regrets even if they end up spending half their lives defending their surreal legacy. In pursuing this desire, we put on a mask that hides our true self and project what we are not, totally forgetting our own self as well as our true abilities. The bottom line is that it serves us well to understand our own capabilities and competencies before making decisions concerning oneself. These decisions could be about one’s life and career, both of which are of utmost importance to an individual. Let us take an example that clarifies the point I am making. We all know that a software Engineer earns top salary in Silicon Valley, California, USA. Knowing this fact does not mean that I too will become a software engineer and secure that kind of job. Before embarking upon the journey to become an engineer, I need to answer a few basic questions for myself. What skills and competencies are required in the performance of the job and secondly do I possess them or not? What if I do not have technical acumen to become an engineer? Can I still become a high rated engineer? Who am I trying to delude? You must consider your interests, nature and skills that help you choose a career that can lead you to success. If we ignore this basic tenet, sooner or later you are sure to meet a dead end, reminding you of the deadly faux pau committed earlier.

[Also Read: People remember the good as well as bad deeds]   

Trying to hide true feelings and sentiments might provide temporary relief. It is a reality that sooner or later, true feelings will surface and may become the source of much embarrassment or unhappy endings. In such situations it is always advisable to speak out your heart and let the true feelings come out as soon as you realise them in the first place rather than lingering on for years and years without giving them a vent. When a person tries to hide things or feelings, he or she might not behave normally. Consequently, he or she will be under undue stress if the truth was ever revealed. Trying to show your allegiance to a particular party, sect or faith without believing in their basic principles or tenets is also misleading, no different from putting on a masked behaviour. Your own heart will give away your secret and betray you if this was ever the case. Don’t you find people in your social circle who would pray incessantly and claim to be strict followers of a particular deity but would not hold back in launching an abusive verbal attack or a physical assault on anyone who dares to go against their wishes or perpetrates a minor misdemeanour? Some elders remark, that sweet mouthed are most vicious as they might sting you when you least expect and when your guards are down thus causing a great damage. On the other hand, you know for sure that a bad person will always sting you and you will always be careful of him, keeping your guards up. Thus, the extent of damage will be far less.

Recently, I met a person who claimed to be engaged in social work since it is considered a fancy phrase.  He told me that it is quite satisfying to do this service in his free time, whatever little time he can spare. I believed that he would be helping needy people secure square meals a day as well as livelihood or teaching deprived children or offering clothes and blankets of destitute and homeless people. On enquiring further and deeper, I came to know that all he used to do was donate a paltry sum towards some vague social cause but all the same talking big about the kind of things he thought he would impress others. I thought for a while, if all this was worth lying. What benefit was he to extract out of me and so many other listeners by narrating a fictitious association or an activity or a hobby.

[Also Read: Kindness of a stranger]

Just be yourself and make your life easier, simple and less complicated.