The tabloids shoot out a daily fodder of working mothers vs. stay at home mothers. And mummies respond very readily to the Guilt button. Does a lady of leisure actually have an edge over career oriented mommies? Let’s get rational about it:

• There are different motivators for different women. Some get a turn-on by cooking. Some get a turn-on by making a power-point presentation. What turns you on? Make a list. If the guilt arises again – and it does sometimes – see the list.

• Who are you most unhappy with? Is it the nanny? Is it the crèche? Or is it your husband from whom you need more help? Once you analyze ‘who’ the problem is, it would get easier to brush off the pangs of guilt.

• Career women think that being a ‘career’ mom is a challenge. But in reality, being a mom itself is a challenge. This challenge may have got ‘something’ to do with your work, but not everything with your work.

• Dumb children/sadistic children/ sick children are born to both – career mommies and at-home mommies. They give no special preference to office mommies.

• Living beings are born with body intelligence. This ‘body intelligence’ teaches the child to walk by himself, eat when hungry and excrete when the pressure builds up. Moms don’t need to be with their children as much as they think that they need to be.

•  You don’t feel bad about working as much as people try to make you feel about it. It’s always people, other people. When an Auntiji says, ‘I would never let anyone else raise my child for an extra income’, give her a straight – but this is how ‘I’ prefer it.

• Stay-at-home moms can have as much a stress as a career woman. For stress has less to do with work and more to do with low self-worth and a bad temperament.

• It’s ok. It’s ok to be sad about not witnessing that special moment of your child. Accept the fact that you can’t be with your baby 24×7.

• Children never differentiate between working mothers and non-working mothers. Children are simple. Their mind is limited to happy mothers and angry mothers. If your work gives you happiness, so be it.

• Read out about terrorists, D company men and rapists. They are all born to stay-at-home moms. It’s never about the quantity of time you spend with your child but the ‘quality’ of time. Nannies can potty train your son; you should concentrate on making your child a better person. In the larger scheme of things, pot ethics don’t matter as much as a strong mental make-up.

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