How Confident are you really?
A lack of self Confidence can be crippling. I speak from experience when I say this. I struggled for years. I had no belief in myself or my ability to do pretty much anything.
I felt uncomfortable and awkward in every situation and never felt in control of everything. Life happened around me while I cowered in the corner too afraid to speak or do anything.
Does any of this sound familiar? It took me a long time to realise that an awful lot of people felt the same way I did. I have spoken to many people who overcame their Confidence Issues. For some it happened naturally as they got older. Others made a conscious decision as I did to look and feel more confident.
I will be honest with you, I’m not completely cured. Some days I’m faking it, but looking confident is half the battle really.
Finding my self confidence has, in a way, set me free. I felt that I was missing out on so much before. Now, the possibilities are endless, I can set goals that I can actually achieve now I have some self belief. I can try new things, have new experiences, make new friends. I have the life that I thought I would never have now there is nothing holding me back. My self confidence is the best gift I have ever given myself.
Now I want to help you!
I think I’ve talked about myself for quite long enough. Let’s concentrate on you. I want you overcome your confidence issues too. Below are a list of tips that really helped me become a much more confident person.
Try to follow them all and remember that it won’t happen overnight. Give it time, keep working at it and you will start to see results.
Patience is definitely the key here. I’m fact, it’s so important I’m going to make it tip number 1!
It’s important to remember that even putting all of these steps into place miracles are not going to happen overnight. Whatever happens, do not give up! It may take weeks or even months to see real results, but when you do you will be so pleased that you put the work in.
Be Realistic
Know your limitations. Start small and build it up gradually. You can’t expect to go from hiding in the corner of the office to giving an all singing all dancing presentation in front of 70 people in a week. Set small goals for yourself that will gradually lead to the big stuff. Which leads nicely me on to the next tip.
Record Your Achievements
Get yourself a pretty notebook or journal and every time you a achieve a goal, try something new or face a fear, write it down. This will reinforce your achievement and give you something to look back on when your confidence dips. Reading back all you have achieved will encourage you to carry on. Now for the practical stuff.
Change Your Body Language
Confidence is not only something you feel, it’s something you can see. People can tell an awful lot from our body language so it’s important that yours shows no sign of the self doubt you may be feeling.
- Stand up straight with your shoulders back. Keep your head up and stand with your feet in line with your shoulders.
- Don’t stand with your hands in your pockets and do not fidget.
- Maintain eye contact. This may be difficult at first but it does get easier with practice I promise.
- Smile to show that you are not nervous and that you are friendly, honest and open.
- Have a confident walk. Take long, purposeful steps, this will make you appear confident and in control.
Change The Way You View New Things
Now I know there’s a lot of changing going on here already. The last thing I want to do is scare you off, so go at your own pace. Take as much time as you need to avoid feeling overwhelmed. So, when you are ready you need to change the way you think about trying new things. New people, situations and activities will no longer be scary and overwhelming, they will be exciting and a new challenge. Don’t be afraid of failing at something new, everyone fails at some point. See this as a lesson, learn from your mistakes ready for next time. Learn to face your fears. Make a list you can work through.
Turn A Negative Into Positive
Negative thoughts are your enemy. Now it takes practice but it is possible to train your brain to recognise and deal with thoughts so that the negative can be turned into a positive.
When things go wrong concentrate on the good things that come out of the situation. Once you have learned to find the positives, the possibility of something going wrong will no longer seem so scary.
Remember!
- You are not talking to a stranger, you are making a new friend.
- A burnt dinner becomes a nice meal out.
- Hard times become challenges that you find solutions to.
- Losing your job is an opportunity to find a better one, retrain or gain new qualifications.
- A few gained pounds become a reason to start that exercise program you have been putting off.
Tackle Your Low Self Esteem
Now I know this is easier said than done and it’s a process but it can be done. As with everything else, start small and go at your own pace.
Take a really good look at yourself. Stand in front of the mirror, really look at your face and body and take note of all your good points.
Know yourself. Take a long hard look at how your brain works, what makes you tick. Learn to recognise your strengths and accept your weaknesses. Note what you can improve on.
Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s not useful and will rarely make you happy. Learn to focus completely on yourself and how you can improve on how you are now rather than anyone else.
Learn to accept and love yourself. Things can always be improved upon but it is so important to be content with what you have. On days when you don’t feel so great about your self, affirmations are a great way to remind yourself what a beautiful person you are. Check out my list of affirmations for self confidence.
Key Points
- Be patient
- Be realistic
- Don’t be afraid of new things
- Write down your achievements
- It’s all about the body language
- Turn a negative into a positive
- Know yourself
- Love yourself
