Like everyone, your goal is to be as happy as possible, as much of the time as possible. But like most people, you probably don’t have happiness as your Primary Priority. Or maybe you think you do, but you find yourself consistently sabotaging yourself by slipping into sadness, despair and other unproductive Negative Thoughts. Without happiness as a priority, it’s very easy to slip into negativity, and suffer much more than you need to in this life. That’s why, if you want to learn how to level up the quality of your life, it’s crucial to embrace the pursuit happiness as your primary priority, and not just as a concept. Once you truly embrace the pursuit of happiness, you’ll have the right mindset for being able to recognize and reframe negativity. And the right mindset is crucial because you have thousands of negative thoughts a day. Here is how to reframe your negative thoughts and find true happiness.
- Brainstorming
Writing in a journal can be very helpful. Try pinpointing in one sentence what your biggest problem is. Then, think of various solutions. You may even try mind mapping, with your problem in the middle of the page. Then, draw lines outwards with various solutions to your problem. Let your imagination roam free. If your biggest problem is finances you may write winning the lottery, getting a job or going back to school as various solutions. The most important thing this exercise does is to instill hope and open your mind to possibilities.
- Awareness
The first thing you need to focus on is your awareness. If happiness is your primary priority, you need to take awareness of negativity very seriously. You need to stay aware because you’re going to have thousands of negative thoughts a day, at least. It’s just a matter of catching them, recognizing you’re unhappy, and asking the right questions in order to change that.
- Counteract Negative Thoughts
One effective technique is to write down your negative thoughts. Then, take a closer look at them. Try to look for evidence for and against this thought. Write down the evidence and then write a more balanced thought. When people are feeling depressed they often “dampen” any positive thoughts or good things that happen in their life. For example, if they receive a large tax refund they may negate it by telling themselves that it’s still not enough money to pay off their debt. Try writing a sentence to counteract that negative thought. The person who received the check may write down that they were able to file their taxes and receive a refund this year, which helped pay down bills. Reframing and changing your point of view is the key.
- Asking the right questions
The right questions are all variations of:
Why am I unhappy?
What do I have to do to feel better?
You are the questions you ask yourself, so it’s very important you know how to ask the right questions.
- Conduct Thought & Behavior Experiments
It can be very effective to test your thoughts for validity. For instance, you can experiment to see which thought holds more validity. Try swapping negative for positive thoughts. Instead of, “I’ll stop binging on sugary foods if I chastise myself afterwards” try “I’ll eat less sugary foods if I forgive myself after overeating and tell myself it’ll be okay”. Write down your overeating results after each thought. By conducting this experiment you will collect objective data as to which thought actually results in less overeating.
- Use Visualization, Morning and Night
When you wake up in the morning, imagine your day going well. No matter what you have scheduled, put a positive outcome on it. Imagine your dentist telling you that you have no cavities, the bank saying yes to your mortgage application or your co-workers smiling in greeting when you arrive. Later, before you go to bed, put your imagination to use again. Replay any positive events and if anything negative happened, imagine it as thought it had gone well instead. This way, prior to sleep, you have filled your mind with positive imagery, which in turn instills hope and lets your mind entertain positive possibilities.
The point of cognitive reframing is to find a new better frame of how you look at a specific event. A frame that can be supported by constructive underlying beliefs, one that doesn’t cause negative feelings and thoughts enables you to keep all the necessary personal power in your own hands for acting and responding properly and rationally. It’s not about daydreaming and denying the seriousness of a situation. It’s about responding more wisely and rationally.
