I haven’t been around here much. I’m sure you’ve noticed from the Lack of posting. It’s not from a lack of want, but from a lack of motivation. A lack of everything.Why?I hit a bit of a rough spot with the weight loss journey last year. I hit my lowest in years at 200.5 lbs. That’s down 87 lbs. Then…well I’m not sure what happened. 1 day not at the gym eventually turned to 6 months and I gained 45 lbs back.I hit rock bottom with my weight. I hid myself. I hated everything about me again.I was so mad that I let that happen again.I avoided the gym. I did everything I could to just ignore it and I overate. Really, really over ate. I didn’t track my calories and I didn’t workout. I just stopped.Till the beginning of this year.I looked in the mirror and realized that I need to change again. I needed to get out of the slump that I’ve been in and I needed to be serious about my health.I was back at the gym. I was eating right…for the most part.I’m back down 20 lbs. I’m still so disappointed in me though. All that hard work and I slipped back so far.Now, for the next two weeks, I’ll be working out at home because of La Fitness closing due to Covid-19.It’s a struggle. When I see food I just want to eat it all. When I get home, I just want to sit and do nothing. I’d love to switch my brain off and just vegetate. I can’t though.So that’s where I’ve been. I’ve been self-hating and self-loathing. Now’s the time to focus on positivity and not hating myself for slipping.We all fail sometimes. It’s what you do after that counts.