As I go along on this journey of mine, my thoughts about what I want change.
Don’t we always change our minds?
When I first started working out it was to not just lose weight but change my life style. Cut back on bad foods. But I ultimately wanted to be Skinny. To have that slender and skin body.
But as I increase my reps, my sets, my weights, my cardio….I don’t want to be slender. I want to be healthy. I want to be Strong. I want to set an example for my sons.
My sons?
Yes, my sons. I want to show them that no matter what, boy or girl, you can be strong. That having a wife who can lift your grill with you is just as good as a skinny wife. That a woman can cook and lift weights. That a mom can fold your underroos and still carry your 10-year-old ass around the house. That mom’s can be strong too. That you can have a dad AND mom who are strong.
I want to be strong so my husband can rely on me for the tougher jobs around the house. That is her needs to lift his grill on the deck, I’m there to help. (I helped husband lift the grill on the deck he built this weekend… It’s heavy. I’m strong.)
I wanted to be skinny. I thought that was what would make me beautiful. I thought that would make me happy. Nope. It’s not.
One reason is because I Love food. (Don’t think that because I love food it’s just unhealthy. I love my veggies) when I had skinny on the brain I was barely eating 1000 calories a day. Now that I have strong on the mind.. I’m eating 1500. I’m actually losing more fat btw. I’m noticing that I don’t feel as tired. As yucky. I feel better when I’m full of asparagus, broccoli, chicken, time, hummus, carrots, and what have you.
So no, I don’t wanna be skinny. I want to push myself. I want to challenge myself and what I can do at the gym. I want to have that definition. I want to see some muscle (not a lot, just some). I don’t want to be skin and bones.
Nope I don’t want to be a size 2. I don’t even want to be a size 4. I want to be a size healthy. A size strong.
And with my physical health comes my mental health. I find that the more I challenge myself at the gym the better my mind is. The less depressed I feel. The less moody I am. Even my PMS isn’t bad.
So no, I don’t want to be skinny.
PS…I got some new running shoes!! (Thanks babe! I love them!)
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