I’m in the middle of a workout. Yes, right now. As I do cardio I write.

I’m hitting a Plateau.

I’ve been working out steadily since right after Christmas 2017. So that’s what, 6 months? I’ve been doing pretty good, until recently. I think it’s a mixture of things that’s making me hit that plateau. One of them being my erratic work Schedule. (Seriously, if you saw it you’d be like wtf…) My will is caving. My motivation isn’t there. So I’m hitting a plateau.. or just a huge wall. That I need to climb over.

I ate a brownie… With ice cream…. And Hershey’s chocolate syrup last night. I considered eating two. When nobody was looking I licked the chocolate off the bowl. No, not the chocolate sauce from my ice cream bowl. The brownie batter. Yeah, I didn’t share that with the kids. I ate it. In shame.

Today.. .I need to get my shit together. I need to figure out what they blockage is. Why am I feeling like a lazy sack of poo? What is hindering the process?

Is it my erratic work schedule? The lack of a normal sleep pattern? There occasional pig out day?

I don’t know.

I do know that my lack of wanting to workout today isn’t because my body doesn’t want to, it’s my mind. (Shit…I have to do homework…)

It has become quite literally an internal battle. And what’s worse, be when I seem to convince myself to do something I need to, like homework, my brain shuts down and I take a nap.

I need to find a good way to climb this wall. I believe it will involve some difficult decisions in my near future. But something we all need to remember is that we have to take care of ourselves. We need to look out for just our physical well being, but also or Mental well being. There must be a balance within ourselves. Your mental self must be in sync with your physical self. You can be as trim as humanly possible but what will that matter if your mind is completely f*ed up from lack of sleep, wonky work schedule or just no down time? Why torment yourself so much?

It’s time to get in touch with my inner me. It’s time for you to get in touch with your inner you. We all need to take a mental health break. We need to find our inner us.

What makes you happy? What makes you feel at peace? I have a few things. My family. My pets. Swimming. Whenever I’m outside. When I’m in the middle of nowhere and all I hear is the wind, birds, and other wildlife. When I’m riding a rollercoaster and that adrenaline is pumping. When I’m running and it’s just me and the music.

That’s my happy place.

That’s when I’m most at peace.

That’s when I find my inner me.

Wanna know what I’m gonna do after I finish up here? Stare my computer convincing myself I’m going to do homework and probably fall asleep.

God, what is wrong with me?