Three ways children can be bullied

* Physical Bullying – this happens when your child is hit, pushed, has her hair pulled and so on.

* Verbal Bullying – this can be name calling, racist and sexist comments, foul language and includes unkind jokes, for example, about weight. Verbal bullying is the most frequent type and is very common for children aged nine to 13. Verbal bullying is not teasing – teasing happens when both the teaser and child are having fun and there is no plan to upset each other.

* Relational bullying – this means being left out or having nasty gossip passed around about you. Young teenagers can suffer especially from this type of bullying.

How to avoid

* Act confident – your child could do this by holding his head up as he walks. Teach him to imagine walking tall and to look people in the eye.

* Make a point of finding friends – ask other children round to your house, join sports or organised clubs where your child will meet others interested in the same things.

* Hang around with friends – when adults are not around your child and her friends should stick together. A bully probably won’t approach your child when she’s in a group.

What the parents can do

If your child bullies you may react with shock, shame or even anger. You may wonder what you can do to sort this out.

* Let your child know that bullying is not okay. Be clear about what you mean by bullying behaviour. Work together with others involved such as teachers and parents to make sure the bullying stops.

* Let your child know how he or she should treat other people. You are your child’s best teacher so set an example through how you act. Let your child see you be kind, speak well of others, solve problems without getting angry, be accepting of differences between people such as race, religion, attitudes and so on.

* Help your child understand how other children and adults feel. Talk about feelings and ask questions like “how did you feel when …?” and “how do you think I felt after …?”

* Spend more time with your child. Sometimes children bully because of their own sadness, anger or after being bullied themselves. Make special time to find out more about each other.

When you get closer to your child you may find they’ll share the worries behind their bullying behaviour and your understanding will help them through.

*Source: William Voors (2000). The Parent’s Book About Bullying. Hazelden

source : http://www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/families/childdev/pre_teen/bullying.html

Originally posted 2006-06-28 23:57:33.