There are so many things to keep track of in a relationship: birthdays, holidays, events with family and friends. But anniversaries might be the biggest of special days the two of you will celebrate together.

But what if you and your special someone (or maybe just one of you!) wants to the celebrating up a notch, you may be celebrating monthiversaries, too. We’re here to guide you through figuring out the differences between how you might celebrate each one, the pros and cons of the monthiversary, and even what to do if your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to celebrate monthiversaries but you feel like it’s overdoing it. Let’s dive in.

Anniversary vs. Monthiversary: What’s the Difference?

This one is likely a no-brainer, but it’s still worth running through the basics. An anniversary is the yearly celebration of the two of you being together (we’ll talk about how to determine that in a minute), while a monthiversary is, obviously, a monthly version of the same.

Many people won’t even celebrate a monthiversary at all, but there’s a likelihood that if they want to celebrate every thirty days, they want it to be significant. Most couples will go in proportionately less for a monthiversary, but every once in a while there will be a person who is so excited about new love that they’ll want to do it up big every month, at least for the first year.

How do you decide when your anniversary or monthiversary falls? For couples who have gotten married, their anniversary is almost always their wedding date. For a monthiversary, it’s a little less cut and dry. You might celebrate a month from your  first date, or from your first kiss, or the date you decided to date exclusively.

It’s up for the two of you to decide…or for the one who wants to celebrate monthiversaries to decide. Whatever date you choose, it’s no different than any other significant event: don’t forget the date, or you might end up in the doghouse.

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How to Celebrate an Anniversary

You’re probably up to speed on this one, though in the moment you may panic a little bit. Because it’s a yearly celebration, it holds a lot of weight in a relationship, so you want to get it right. You can celebrate an anniversary on any budget, as long as you’re thoughtful and sincere in how you choose to mark the occasion.

Obviously, the longer you’re together, the bigger a deal an anniversary is. The first anniversary is a big deal, as are all of those in multiples of five. At a base level though, you’ll want to have a nice dinner planned, whether that means going to their favorite restaurant or making a special recipe for a candlelight dinner at home.

Flowers and a card are always appreciated, as is a nice gift. Make sure you put thought into your gift—that old cliché about not buying a blender is correct 99 times out of 100. From there, the sky is the limit, depending on your budget and creativity!

How to Celebrate a Monthiversary

Unless you’re the one super excited about a monthiversary, figuring out a new way to celebrate each month can be a little bit of a chore. This may be your first time dealing with monthly celebrations, and trying to keep it fresh every month can take a little thought. You definitely want to start the day by wishing them a happy monthiversary (if they don’t beat you to it!) in person or with that first text of the day.

For a lot of people, that could be enough—just knowing you remembered will do. Other couples will want to go a little bigger, with flowers and a special meal. You may want to consider a nice gift, like jewelry, at the six month mark. Definitely take a cue from your boyfriend or girlfriend. After a month or more you should have a pretty good idea of their personality and how excited they might be about celebrating.

Pros and Cons of a Monthiversary

It can definitely be fun to have an excuse to do it up big every month, and a monthiversary definitely gives you that option. But all that celebrating might diminish the meaning of the day, as well as the bigger milestone events on your couples calendar.

It can also be a bit of a drain on both your budget and creativity to have a big celebration every month. Ultimately it’s up to you and your boyfriend or girlfriend to decide what your monthiversary date is and how you’d like to celebrate. But there are definitely pros and cons to both.

What If You Don’t Want to Celebrate a Monthiversary?

If you’re looking for monthiversary advice, it may be because you’ve never celebrated one before…and it may feel overwhelming. You’re not alone. But if you find it’s not a big burden, it may be worth recognizing that it means a lot to your girlfriend or boyfriend, so it’s worth it just to see how happy it makes them.

But those gifts dinners out may add up, or it just may feel like too much to turn everything into such a big deal. If you’re thoughtful and respect their feelings, there’s a way to let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you might not want to celebrate monthly.

Open communication is key to a good relationship, and it’s no different here. You should definitely go through a few months of celebrating before you have the talk, but if you’re sweet about it, you can compromise and be honest and tell them it’s a bit of a strain on your wallet to go big every month. Suggest a dinner at home rather than going out every month.

Or if a monthly celebration just seems like too much, you can tell them that waiting for the bigger moments makes them more special for you, and you’d like to anticipate each year’s anniversary, because you plan to spend years and years, or maybe the rest of your life with them.

However often you choose to celebrate, know that it’s a special event that’s worth giving your full attention to. Enjoy it!

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