So you’ve missed your anniversary—again. You didn’t mean to. It’s just that life goes by so quickly, and it’s rare you look at a calendar at all. Maybe you are forgetful. That doesn’t mean you didn’t mean well.

And maybe you’re just not the type to make a fuss over things like birthdays and anniversaries. But if your partner is, remembering those dates is a vital part of making them feel loved and respected, so if you’ve forgotten (especially more than once!) you may need an assist to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Here are a few methods to keep things running smoothly when you’re not the type who keeps calendars on the front burner.

Write It Down

Seems obvious, right? But if you’ve forgotten, maybe it’s a very basic step you haven’t incorporated yet. This can mean putting it in a datebook or planner, or writing your anniversary down on a sticky note and putting it in your wallet.

A word on the wallet trick—your partner likely won’t think twice if you write down your anniversary in your planner, but if they see you’ve resorted to a sticky note as a reminder, they may give you the side-eye. If you go with the sticky note, keep it someplace where you’ll be reminded of it often, but where it will stay out of your partner’s sight line.

The pitfall with writing it down is that this method doesn’t give you adequate time to plan for the big day. Gas station roses and a box of candy are more of a let-down than forgetting completely. If you write down the date of your anniversary, make sure it’s a baby step toward not forgetting the date at all, and being prepared.

Remembering the date of your anniversary is one thing, but actually planning and following through with buying a romantic gift for your significant other is quite another. Don’t treat anniversaries—or birthdays, or Valentine’s Day, for that matter—as one step deals. If these events matter to your significant other, they should be important to you, too.

Show your partner you’re listening by planning for a gift that really lets them know you’ve been listening.

Use The Calendar on Your Phone

Level up from sticky notes and put the date of your anniversary into your phone. This will allow you to plan around your anniversary and not double-book the day. This means you literally need to check your calendar when you schedule things approaching the big day, so unless you’re hyper vigilant about checking your calendar, you should set up calendar reminders, too.

The benefit of adding your anniversary to the calendar on your phone is that you’ll be able to set up a few reminders before the anniversary itself. This is vital if you want to go all-out on the day—but remember, you’ll need to plan far enough in advance if you plan a romantic weekend away, a reservation at a hard to book restaurant, or even just arranging for a babysitter.

Still, using your phone’s calendar is still a roll of the dice. What if you change phones? Have you backed up your data on the cloud so it’s all still there once you power up? What if you change the type of phone completely? One company’s proprietary app—say, the calendar—may not allow you to transfer data to a different carrier or brand of phone. You’ll want something more reliable.

There’s another hitch here, too. If you’re on a family cell phone plan that shares data to other devices—say a shared tablet or laptop—you run the risk of your significant other seeing calendar alerts. Even if you’re on top of your game and have all the anniversary wheels in motion, that calendar reminder may tip your hand and ruin the surprise. It’s a low-stakes risk, but why risk anything when you don’t have to?

Let Someone Else Remember It For You

This method is utterly foolproof: sign up for a service that sends you regular reminders in advance of your anniversary. Healthy Framework’s Relationship Butler takes the heavy lifting off your hands. It’s completely free to sign up, and their regular reminders will keep you from any more whoops moments and poorly thought out gifts.

It takes less than five minutes to set up—actually, it takes less than 30 seconds, but we’re building in that extra time for you to find that sticky note you wrote important dates on. You’ll just need your email address, both of your first names, your birthdays, and the date of your anniversary, and you’re done. You’ll get reminders a month before, two weeks before, and one week before your anniversary, your significant other’s birthday, and Valentine’s Day. You can’t go wrong.

If you want to give just a little bit more information, like your partner’s gender and your preferred budget, and you’ll get tailored gift recommendations. Let’s be honest, that’s the biggest part of the reason you don’t get around to getting a gift on time, isn’t it? It’s the guesswork. What would they like as a gift, and is it in your price range? The Relationship Butler suggests a curated list of anniversary-appropriate gifts that won’t have you hurting until your next payday.

What’s the catch? There is none. Seriously. Relationship Butler by Healthy Framework is completely free, forever. No asterisk. Have you breathed that sigh of relief yet?

Relationship Butler sends automated anniversary, birthday, and Valentine’s Day reminder emails, all with the care minimum of personal info provided. We’ll use your budget and partner’s gender to suggest gifts if you’ve provided that information, but that’s the only data we’ll use.

Let us stop you before you get to that next question—no, we don’t sell your data ever, for any reason. Relationship Butler is just here to help you out and keep your relationship sailing smoothly. Give it a shot—what do you have to lose?

> Get Relationship Butler Free Now

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