I've just realised that I have forgotten to reprint anything from Lord Bonkers' diaries in the October and November 1992 issues, but the old boy hasn't noticed yet, so let's get stuck into his latest thoughts.

Monday

So Cameron has decided to emerge from his shed and become foreign secretary, nabbing himself a peerage in the process. You may remember him: face like a carved ham; used to be prime minister; decided he was a political genius and called a referendum to “settle the issue of Europe once and for all”. We have talked of little but Europe ever since. 

Cameron, incidentally, was the fellow Clegg was so keen on and with whom he shared fragrant moments in the Downing Street rose garden. That didn’t stop him sandbagging Clegg the moment he thought it to his advantage. There’s a moral there: if you’re going to sup with a Tory, make sure you bring a long spoon, a hard hat and an abdominal protector.