So my fabulous 7 year old daughter has, like most kids her age, a VERY active imagination. Add that to the fact that while very emotionally aware, also tends to be just a BIT dramatic (which most of the time I love and can appreciate) except when it comes to bedtime.

On and off over the last year and a half, she has struggled with nightmares. You know, the regular stuff....monsters, sharks, lions...etc. It's hard to watch because I can see how scared she is and I want so bad to fix it. I have spent some time exploring with her what these are about and assessing what's going on with her. I know that there are emotional issues that she may be having: fears, feeling alone, things that she is working out and I can help her with, etc. But sometimes... they just happen.

Her solution is always to sleep in my bed with me. While part of me would love to allow that, knowing that she would feel immediately safer/better, it would also start a habit of that being the answer each night, anticipated nightmare or not.
Additionally, it is important to me that we can come up with ideas together and she learn ways to help herself with this so she doesn't feel quite as helpless. Granted there are occasional nights when she will come into my room in the middle of the night after one of these have occurred and I will let her snuggle in with me without a moment's hesitation. However, I feel a little better knowing those nights are few and that I've tucked her into bed utilizing other options first. Here are a few ideas that we have found work a good amount of the time and, that's good enough for me...



Spray it! "Monster Away" Spray-This was a cute idea from one of her dance teachers "Miss Zetta" it is simply a homemade spray bottle decorated with puffy paints and filled with glittery water (on my sisters suggestion, I also added a bit of soothing lavender oil.) She simply keeps it by her bedside and sprays when she goes to bed and when/if she wakes up in the night.


Favorite Things/Happy Place: Clearly if you are a fan of The Sound of Music this is no foreign concept to you. (Are the hills in fact "alive?" I don't know. I suppose that's a "perspective" issue... but I digress...) If she is feeling afraid when she goes to bed, we will talk about some of her favorite things or places/things/people that make her happy, favorite memories, etc. I will sit by her bed and talk about some of these with her and ask her detailed questions about them until I can see that she has been in that frame of mind for a little bit. Then I will leave her with the assignment of coming up with a list of 10 favorite things that I will ask her about in the morning.



Music: This is her favorite and works like a charm. When music fills the house, the vibe changes and there can be instant comfort. I will either choose a playlist or let her choose one. When I used this when my son was little, I put him to bed with things like Yanni and Enya (which my sister thought was "creepy" ) My daughter prefers "hipper" tunes. The music of choice lately has been Coldplay, Death Cab for Cutie, and Regina Spector, among many other favorites.

Obviously these methods don't ensure that her nightmares will never happen, but they have definitely been very helpful in giving her some coping strategies and solid sleep filled nights. And...on the occasional night that she finds her way into my bed... I am grateful that she is still little enough to want her mommy..... :0)