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Google Stole My Brain

Tags: google

I know a lot of stuff. Just ask my husband. He will tell you I said so.

Just ask my kids. I force them to watch "Jeopardy" every night just so I can show off. While I probably shouldn't be so proud to know so much about "Potent Potables" (Cleared the category!), nothing gives me more pleasure than amazing them with my rapid-fire answers (in the form of questions of course). Let's face it, it's no fun shouting, "What is the Guggenheim?" to an empty room.

There are times that I don't always know what I thought I knew, or used to know. Back in the day, I had to call my mother for this type of information.

"What was the name of the actor in "Rebel Without a Cause" - not James Dean."

"Sal Mineo."

Ah! Thanks Mom! I feel better now!

Mom was the original Google.

Here's the only problem with Mom-as-Google: I can't call just to get the tidbit of info I need. I have to also have an actual conversation. Now, don't get me wrong, I love talking to my mother, but my trivia needs are many and varied. We are talking a lot of calls. At any given hour it could go like this:

"Hey Mom, what's that gum paste candy called?"

"Tony Curtis's real name?"
"Bernie Schwartz."

"That ship that sank? Not the Titanic."
"The Andrea..."
"...Doria. Got it."

That's just rude!

Also, it's not always convenient to call Mom anyway. So, I'd have to save up my queries and remember them later.

Then one day, God gave us Google, and it was good.

Now, I don't have to remain curious about anything for long. In addition, my questions are usually answered with words and pictures and video clips.

Wiki-pedia has replaced the encyclopedia (remember THOSE?). Never mind accuracy or truth. It's INSTANT ANSWERS! The day I can walk over to a bookshelf and shout, "Why does my cat purr?" and a book comes flying off and opens itself up the relevant page, reads itself to me and shows me adorable kitten videos, well, then I would give up Google. But that's not going to happen.

One of my favorite things is to Google part of a song lyric that I sort-of-kind-of heard half of and .25 seconds later - there it is. Wow!

I'm quite certain there is an epedemic of web self-diagnosing going on. On more than one occaision, I've walked into the doctor with the name of the medication I was sure I needed. Let those who have not Googled a symptom cast the first stone.

I have spent many a sleepless night researching whatever is worrying me within an inch of its life. In theory, knowledge is power. In reality, I wish I could Google my problem and have Google answer with, "Don't worry Joanne. Everything's going to be OK."

On some level, I'm sure there are synapes dying because Google. The stuff I used to have to reach way back into my brain to remember is now literally at my fingertips.

The beauty of the search engine - that nothing is unknowable - it also the thing that makes me uneasy. While I love Google, Google Earth creeps me out. The camera swooping down from outer-space until it gets to my driveway is disconcerting(is that me in the window??). No more naked pilates!

We also love to Google because if ever there is a debate about a correct answer, we have an uninterested 3rd party to resolve the issue. And by the way, women are correct 73% more often than their husbands.

I know it's true because I Googled it.

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This post first appeared on The Girl Out Of Brooklyn, please read the originial post: here

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Google Stole My Brain


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