Since my wife Karen passed away in February 2021, I have grappled with the issue of getting back to dating. I didn't want to think about it at all during the first year after my loss. But now, almost three years later should I try to:
- Develop a romantic relationship and eventually remarry?
- Find a live-in girlfriend?
- Have a platonic relationship with a woman?
Step one in any of these options is to meet someone. There are more single women than men at my age, but do they want to pair off? I surmise that the older a Woman is when she is widowed or divorced, the less likely she is to friend a man. My mother was widowed at age 77 and outlived my father by 17 years and was never interested in meeting other men. Some of her friends did remarry after they lost their husbands. When I go to a senior center, there are always about 80% women, but I surmise that they are not interested in pairing off.
I have dabbled in dating apps, but I chicken out. I get into a chatting relationship with a woman that usually ends abruptly. I had a video chat with one woman, but I decided not to meet her in person. My fears are based on my experience with dating when I was in my 20s. There were just too many bad experiences that seemed to haunt me. I try to avoid rejection by maintaining the status quo.
If you read the lyrics to Dylan's Need a Woman, you will observe that his attitude differs from mine. At age 82 he could get any woman he wanted. This song appeared on The Bootleg Series, Vol 1-3: Rare & Unreleased 1961-1991.
Need a Woman
WRITTEN BY: BOB DYLAN
It’s been raining in the trenches all day long, dripping down to my clothes
My patience is wearing thin, got a fire inside my nose
Searching for the truth the way God designed it
The truth is I might drown before I find it
Well I need a woman, yes I do
Need a woman, yes I do
Someone who can see me as I am
Somebody who just don’t give a damn
And I want you to be that woman every night
Be that woman
I’ve had my eyes on you baby for about five long years
You probably don’t know me at all, but I have seen your laughter and tears
Now you don’t frighten me, my heart is jumping
And you look like it wouldn’t hurt you none to have a man
who could give ya something
Well I need a woman, oh don’t I
Need a woman, bring it home safe at last
Seen you turn the corner, seen your boot heels spark
Seen you in the daylight, and watched you in the dark
And I want you to be that woman, all right
Be that woman every night
Well, if you believe in something long enough you just naturally
come to think it’s true
There ain’t no wall you can’t cross over, ain’t no fire you can’t walk through
Well, believing is all right, just don’t let the wrong people know what it’s all about
They might put the evil eye on you, use their hidden powers to try to turn you out
Well I need a woman, just to be my queen
Need a woman, know what I mean?
