Before I could go to Mexico I had to go to language school in Costa Rica, which is, by the way a gorgeous country.   But I had just left my job as the equivalent of a college vice-president, and that role had completely defined me.   

Suddenly I was in a brand new country, Surrounded by a language which I didn’t know very well  (Just so you know, 2 years in Jr. High, 2 years in High School, and 2 years of college classes does not equal being able to speak a language)  The host family I had was weird — the program I was in allowed language students to stay with these families who were supposed to give them a feel for the country.  This family was doing it for the money, obviously.   They had me stay in their dead daughters room which had remain untouched as a shrine to her (creepy huh) and she was a collector of owls — so I was surrounded by owls.   They never ate with me — she fixed me a meal and set it on the table and then went into a another room.  She and her husband ate, I suppose, but I never knew when because I never saw them eat.

Making matters worse, the other people in my class were not there to learn Spanish to be missionaries — they were there to party.  They were cruise ship folks and business folks whose companies were paying for them to be in Costa Rica for a month and they were having fun!   But their definition of fun was rocking my holiness world.  So I kept to myself.  Which is NOT me.  

So I went from being on a Christian campus with an important role where I worked from 7 am to 10 pm and ate all my meals in the dining commons surrounded by college students …. to eating alone in another Country Surrounded by nothing but my own thoughts and retired to a room where owls that stared at me while I slept.  

I had no role.  I had no idea who I was any more.  I wasn’t important, aI had no friends, I wasn’t a daughter or a sister or a friend or a Dean of Students or a Sunday School teacher or even a missionary yet.  I was nothing but me.   And I realized I had no idea who I was.  

Three weeks into my stay I discovered that there was a Nazarene Seminary within taxi distance of where I was staying.   I went there to visit and felt like I had come home.   I only made two visits there, but the people welcomed me so warmly and blessed me so much..

One of the missionary couples had a couple of kids and they invited me hear them sing at their Christian school choir concert.  In the midst of that concert, they sang this song — in English even.  

A sense of calm swept over me and I realized that at that moment, I didn’t need to know WHO I was if I always could remember WHOSE I was.   God had me — step by step.  And he would lead me to the next phase of my journey — and the next — and the next — and that I didn’t need to know what that looked like if I knew HE was in control.

Fast forward thirty years and It’s still true.   Looking over those years he has been there, every step, leading, guiding, preparing me for the next thing.  I am confident that he will do that for me as I approach uncertain years ahead.  

 If you are my age, you can look back and see that as well.   If you are the age I was then, you can COUNT on the fact that he will do the same for you.

I heard this song this week that has the same message:

https://youtu.be/02RHzc_w6cs