Becoming a dad for the first time is a momentous period in your life.

And while the nine month wait to meet your new Baby can feel like a drag, it can also fly by so quickly especially when you have so much to get ready. 

Preparing for fatherhood isn’t just about the practical - decorating the baby’s room, buying a pushchair and a cot. As a dad-to-be, preparing yourself emotionally and mentally is just as important.  

No dad ever found out they were having a child and instantly felt like they knew everything there is to know about raising a baby. Learning is going to be a big part of your life for the next few months. You’ll probably spend a lot of time reading new dad survival guides, watching YouTube videos and searching for the best dad books.

33 ways to prepare for fatherhood

If you think you need a bit more help than that, we’ve put together this guide to bring you 33 of the best ways to prepare for fatherhood, speaking to dads who’ve been there and done it (and maybe didn’t prepare as best they could).

1 - Work out the family budget

Your new baby is going to have a dramatic impact on your finances long before they are born. The cost of a child is estimated to be more than $300,000 for middle-income families in the US. And unless you start to prepare well in advance, the impact could be a lot worse than it needs to be. 

Working out a family budget early on in the pregnancy not only gives you a clear picture of what you can afford when it comes to the big purchases like cot, pushchairs and car seats, it helps you to understand what your options might be for parental leave and working patterns after the birth. 

The key things to work out here are:

• How much disposable income you currently have
• How much you’re likely to spend on the baby
• What you can cut back on

Those with very tight budgets and those who are environmentally conscious can also look to second-hand products, either passed down from family members or to buy from online marketplaces (there are some products that experts recommend never using second hand like mattresses and car seats). 

2 - Plan your paternity leave and working patterns

In years gone by, there wouldn’t even be a conversation about paternity leave or working patterns. The baby would be born, you’d take your paternity leave and go back to work full-time two weeks later. 

Thankfully, things are very different for modern-day dads. You might already have a good idea of how much paternity leave you want to take and how you want to take it. It’s important to remember that there are a lot of variables when it comes to paternity leave - your employer might have an enhanced parental leave policy, you might be self-employed, your budget might not allow for an extended period of leave. 

Luckily, we’ve got a few handy guides to help you make your decision:

• Parental Leave Options

• Compressed and Flexible Working

• Dads and Career Breaks - Can it be done?

Closer to the due date - perhaps towards the end of the second trimester or start of the third - it’s a good time to discuss your plans with your employer.

3 - Open a savings account for your baby

If you’re in the UK, you might be looking at the Cost of Living crisis and real-term drop in wages, and wondering what the future holds for your baby as they reach adulthood. 

So this might just be the perfect time to open a child savings account - it can be something you give to them when they turn 18, or go towards buying them their first car, helping pay for their wedding, or go towards a deposit on their first house (if they can ever actually achieve that!) 

4 - Check which benefits you’re eligible for

Claiming the government benefits you’re eligible for is an excellent way to top up your family income and ease the financial pressure of a baby. 

What you’re eligible for usually depends on where you live and how much you earn. If you’re in the US, Benefits.gov breaks down the support for families into states. And the UK government website has a handy list of benefits and financial support for families here.

5 - Build healthy eating habits

If you’re already eating a healthy, balanced diet - great job! Keep it going! 

If not, now is a great time to start before your new baby arrives. Most dads will tell you they piled on the pounds in the first few weeks. Lack of sleep and long days usually make it very hard to keep on top of healthy eating habits. Cementing those habits early on in the pregnancy will certainly help though. 

Related: Diet Plans and Healthy Eating: Advice for Dads

Maintaining a healthy weight and improving your overall wellbeing is an important factor in keeping your energy levels as high as possible to support your partner throughout the pregnancy and early weeks and months of your child’s life. 

6 - Build good exercise habits

What good is building healthy eating habits without the exercise to go along with it? 

Combining a balanced diet with regular exercise is definitely the best way to improve and maintain not just your physical wellbeing but also your mental wellbeing. Studies even show that when dads exercise, children feel the benefit. 

Kristin Stanford from Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, who conducted the study, said: “Even a month or so of moderate exercise before conception can have major benefits to his children’s metabolic health. Those benefits include lower body weight, increased insulin sensitivity and decreased fat mass.”

Home workouts or going for a run in the local area are great ways to get some exercise in without breaking the bank or taking too much time away from your partner and baby. 

Related:  Dad’s Health - Key Exercises for Dads

Just like with food, if you’re already exercising regularly - brilliant! It would also be good to spend some time roughly planning how you’re going to get your exercise when the baby comes. It’s important to take time for yourself and continue exercising to stay healthy and reduce stress, but the reality is that you’re going to have less time to do it when the baby arrives. 

You might just need to adjust your activity or schedule a bit to suit your new life. 

7 - Brush up on pregnancy terms

Whether you’ve picked up a few things from friends or family who’ve had children, or from TV programmes and films, you probably know a fair few pregnancy terms already. But becoming a dad-to-be means you’re usually throwing into the deep end when it comes to pregnancy terminology. 

8 - Think about names

This is another one you and your partner may have talked about long before becoming pregnant. If not, one of the earliest conversations most couples tend to have is picking baby names. It’s a really difficult decision to make, but can lead to some really fun conversations. 

We’ve got a few guides here that explain why a name is important and how to pick one, offer up some unique choices (and also some to avoid!):

• Tired of the Most Popular Baby Names? Get Inspired with 300+ Unique Names for your Newborn Child

• 50 Heroic Baby Names for Boys and Girls

• 101 Gender-Neutral Baby Names for Your New Arrival

• 111 Ugly Baby Names to Avoid

9 - Get life insurance

“Dying is obviously not on your to-do list, but the reality is that every 22 minutes a child loses a parent they rely on financially,” according to dads’ life insurance specialists, Tom. 

“Losing a dad sucks, but losing a dad, the family home and the things he used to [help] pay for all at the same time sucks on an entirely new level”. 

Even if you’re the most carefree, happy-go-lucky, risk-taker out there, the reality is that becoming a dad is likely to change your perception on life and on risk. You start to worry about what would happen to your children if the worst should ever happen to you. 

If you haven’t already, we definitely recommend getting some life insurance and giving yourself (and your partner) some peace of mind. 

10 - Attend parenting classes

You can read all the parenting books in the world, and you’ll still find yourself thinking ‘What on earth do I do?’ over and over again when you become a dad - how to hold your baby, how to burp them, how to wrap them in a swaddle (or what a swaddle even is!), how to change a nappy. The list goes on and on. 

Parenting classes (aka antenatal classes in the UK) are a great way to get to grips with at least some of those queries and conundrums rattling around in your head. They’re designed to provide information and prepare you for life as a parent. However, they can often focus heavily on pregnancy and the immediate time after the birth, and therefore focus on the mum-to-be. 

The good news is that more and more parenting classes focused on dads are popping up all over the place, and there are even a growing range of online parenting classes. 

11 - Talk roles and responsibilities

As you progress through the pregnancy, you might find yourself wondering what your role is going to be in the early weeks and months. Historically, soon to be dads would be thinking almost entirely about providing; go out to work and put food on the table, but the role of a dad has evolved dramatically over the past 10 years or so. But with mum the primary caregiver (especially if she’s breastfeeding) we can still be left wondering what is best for us to do. 

It’s a good time to talk with your partner about the expectations you have of each other as parents - a big step in helping you to prepare for fatherhood. It’s good for you both to go into life as parents with a pretty clear understanding of who is going to do what, when and how often. 

Your plans might totally go out the window when your baby comes, but it’s still a good idea to talk about in advance. 

12 - Share the load

You may well have heard of ‘the mental load’ over the past few years. It’s a term to describe the invisible or ‘mental’ work that goes into running a household, mainly experienced by women and mums. 

It’s not the physical doing of a task, but the mental preparation for it - planning meals, keeping track of items for a grocery shop, the need to wash a sports kit or school uniform in time, and so on. 

A hot topic in recent years, it’s not only highlighted the mental load that (mainly) women and mums go through but also started a conversation around how men and dads can better support their partners and share the load. 

So much like a conversation around roles and responsibilities for taking care of your baby when they arrive, it’s good to have a conversation around sharing general responsibilities around the house.

13 - Consider if you need a new car

Been driving around in a sporty two-seater? You need to switch it up, my friend. Even if you love your car, your new reality means practicality trumps style every time. You need a boot big enough for a chunky pushchair and more, a back seat long enough to comfortably fit an infant

car seat, and a fuel efficiency to maximise the household budget. 

If your car already meets the practicality standards of becoming a dad, it’s a great idea to spend some time prior to the birth making sure it’s in tip-top condition. The last thing you want is to break down or to blow a tire on the way to the hospital when your partner is in labour - and this actually happened to my sister and her partner!!

14 - Buy an Infant Car Seat (and Know How to Use It)

Speaking of cars, buying a baby car seat and learning how to use it is an essential part of preparing for fatherhood. 

It may sound obvious, but you need to have your baby’s car seat installed and ready for the journey home from the hospital. In fact, hospitals won’t allow you to leave without a nurse or midwife showing you how to safely strap your baby into the car seat, and how to safely install the seat itself into the car. 

Check out our guide The 8 Best Car Seats (2023 Buying Guide) for everything you need to know about the law on child car seats, the key things you need to look out for, and of course, our recommendations. 

Speaking of which… 

15 - Choose Baby Gear and Equipment

Like infant car seats, there are plenty of baby gear and equipment purchases you need to make that you don’t want to do on a whim. 

Things like baby furniture, car seats and pushchairs are the items you’re going to be using for several months, maybe even years depending on the item. So you need to be sure it does the job it’s supposed to for your baby, but is also practical for you as parents. 

Be sure to take your time with these purchases, read the reviews of other parents and try to find the right balance between quality, practicality and budget. 

Here are some of the bigger purchases you’ll need (or maybe want) to make before the baby arrives:

• Moses basket

• Cot

• Pushchair

• Car seat (as we’ve already discussed)

• Wardrobe and chest of drawers

• Changing table

• Baby monitor

• Baby carrier

• Rocking/feeding chair (optional)

• Breast pump (optional)

• Bottle steriliser and bottles

• High chair (for a few months’ time)

• Bouncer (optional)
  
  

Related: The Top 10 Gadgets for Dads 

16 - Buy a Month's Worth of Baby Care Essentials

The last thing you want to be doing in the first couple of weeks, after a night of no sleep, is rushing to the shop to pick up some nappies, wipes or something else. So stock up on plenty of baby care essentials - unlike the bigger purchases, we’re talking the products you might use a lot of in that first month.

If you have extended family wanting to buy you something or asking what you need, send them some of these:

• Nappies

• Wipes

• Nappy rash cream

• Baby vests

• Babygrows

• Nipple pads (for breastfeeding mums)

• Nipple cream (for breastfeeding mums)

• Milk storage bags (for breast-pumping mums)

• Formula powder (for formula-fed babies)

• Sterilising tablets (for bottles)

• Colic drops

• Scratch mitts

17 - Get your Dad joke game ready

As a dad-to-be, it can feel like a long time until you need to bring out the dad jokes. But if you want to be on your A-game when your child is old enough to understand dad jokes, you need to spend the pregnancy and early years perfecting your delivery. 

18 - Look After Your Mental Health

You’ve probably heard of post-natal depression or post-partum depression. You might not realise that it doesn’t just affect new mums, it can affect new dads too. There is a host of evidence showing that as many as one in four new dads will start to show symptoms of depression in the first six months of their baby’s arrival, while some even claim it to be as many as half of new dads. 

There is no one reason why new dads experience post-partum depression; lack of sleep, lack of exercise, unhealthy eating habits, short paternity leave, loneliness and many more can be contributing factors. 

It can be easy for dads to fall into the trap of thinking that they need to put mother and baby first in every and any situation. But it’s incredibly important for you to look after your own wellbeing too. You can’t support your new family to the best of your ability if you’re not looking after yourself. 

That leads on to…

19 - Make Sure You're Getting Enough Sleep

It can be really tempting to use this pre-baby time to enjoy a final few months of late nights watching TV or a film, or playing video games. Or you might even go with the logic ‘I’m not going to get any sleep when the baby comes, I’ll try and get used to it now so it’s not a huge shock to the system’. 

Sleep is a hugely important factor in our efforts to stay healthy, both physically and mentally. There are so many blogs, articles, research papers and more highlighting just how vital it is to get plenty of good quality sleep in order to maintain our wellbeing. 

Just like healthy eating and exercise, creating those positive sleeping habits now during pregnancy will leave you in a better place by the time baby comes. 

20 - Agree on Where the Baby Will be Sleeping

Speaking of sleep, you also need to consider where your baby will sleep. Although you might have wonderful plans for your baby’s room, it’s recommended that they sleep on their own surface, in the same room as mum and dad until around six months. 

With plenty of us already struggling for space, adding a full-sized cot to the bedroom just isn’t an option. That’s why plenty of parents opt for a moses basket for baby’s arrival before moving up to a cot when they go into their own room.

It’s important to note that while moses baskets themselves can be reused or bought second hand, experts always recommend buying a brand new mattress. This is because studies show a link between second hand mattresses and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

21 - Decorate the baby’s room

Although Jon P is right - you don't have to rush into decorating right away, it is something that should be fairly high on your agenda throughout the pregnancy. 

A lot of couples don’t have a need for a second room until they have a baby, and so it just becomes a bit of a dumping ground for anything and everything (this dad is definitely speaking from experience on this one!). 

Decorating their room can be a huge job (especially if it’s filled with all your stuff!), which means it’s definitely not something you want to leave until the baby comes and your energy levels are at rock bottom and your time is limited.

22 - Begin Baby Proofing the House

In short, baby proofing the house means making your house safe for when your baby starts crawling around. It can seem a way off, but it’s much easier to baby proof during pregnancy. 

Even things that seem totally harmless to you as an adult, or even a child, can present a hazard to a baby learning to explore their surroundings. 

It might look silly, but the best way to assess hazards is to get on your hands and knees and crawl around the house. Sometimes even looking at things from a different angle can change your perception on whether or not it’s a hazard.

Here are some of the main areas you can expect to be baby proofing:

• Sharp edges - Removing or adding protection to sharp edges or corners on coffee tables, TV units, side tables, chairs, worktops etc. 

• Heavy furniture - Bulky furniture items like cupboard, wardrobes, drawers, TV units and shelving units can be fixed to a wall to stop them being pulled over.

• Medicines and cleaning products - Either moving them to a cupboard up high or installing child locks

• Stairs - Stair gates are an essential at the top and bottom of stairs

• Fireplace - If you have a fireplace or wood burning stove, you’ll need to add a fireplace screen to baby getting to it

• Windows and doors - Child locks will need to be added to any reachable windows, doors and cupboard doors. You may even need to move items of furniture away from windows and doors as they could be climbed on.

• Plugs and cables - Experts recommend using products that cover the entire plug socket, rather than inserts. And any exposed cables should be tied and be kept out of reach. 

23 - Decide on a diaper/nappy System and Stock Up

Something you’ll both need to decide on is the diaper or nappy system you use. While disposable nappies were the assumed choice for generations, parents are increasingly opting for reusable nappies largely for their environmental credentials. 

They can seem like a big step away from the perceived norm, so it’s best to do your research before making any decisions. Check out our parents guide to reusable nappies, which gives you everything you need to know about them. 

It’s also a good time to pick out a diaper changing bag and stock up on items like nappy rash creams, wipes etc. 

Practical tip for you: It’s always handy to have plenty of these products. Ie. One for the diaper bag, one for upstairs, one for downstairs. The last thing you want to be doing mid-change is running upstairs to grab the cream.  

24 - Upgrade/clear some storage on your phone

You’re going to take a lot of photos and videos of your baby. No matter how much you want to ditch your phone and really live in the moment, you’re also going to want to capture every little smirk, quirk and facial expression. 

That means storage gets eaten up VERY quickly as a new dad! So, spend a bit of time clearing some storage on your phone, deleting apps you haven’t used for ages or memes and gifs shared in hundreds of WhatsApp groups you’re part of. Or, you might think that your phone actually needs an upgrade for something with more storage and a better camera.

25 - Spend quality time with your partner

The impending arrival of your baby takes so much focus that many couples forget to be just that, a couple, in the final months of pregnancy. Your world is about to change forever and it’s something a lot of parents struggle with in the early years of their child’s life. It impacts on your freedom and flexibility to be romantic, on your sex life, and just your ability to spend time with one another. 

It’s important to take time away from a world of baby-proofing, scans, decorating, choosing pushchairs and so on and just spend quality time with your partner. It might be a long, long time until you can get that time again.

If budgets allow, you could go on a babymoon! If you haven’t heard of a babymoon before, it’s (usually) a short break abroad a couple of months before the baby is born. 

Most airlines will allow women to fly up to around 36 weeks or a month before the due date, while others will request a letter of approval from a doctor past the seven month mark. 

This is also a good chance to take stock and talk about which family members you can rely on or ask for support when you do want to take some time for yourselves as a couple. You might even prefer to plan a set date night once a month after you’ve settled into your new life. The Body Coach, Joe Wicks, hit the headlines in 2020 when he said he and his wife, Rosie, schedule their sex once a week. 

26 - Establish your support network

We mentioned it briefly in the last point, but establishing your support network before the baby comes can save plenty of stress after the baby comes. Your support network is the group of people you can go to in your time of need. Some are better at certain things than others so it’s certainly possible that you have a large support network with different roles. An older grandparent might offer to make some meals for you, but perhaps won’t be able to look after the baby. While a younger niece or nephew might be well placed to take the dog for a run around the park.

27 - Prepare for a new social life