Finding out that you’re going to be a dad is a life-changing moment for numerous reasons. It’s partly because becoming a Parent is an incredibly significant commitment to make as a human; to bring new life into the world, to keep it safe and raise it to adulthood. What is perhaps equally as significant is the financial burden associated with raising a child.
In the UK in 2021, that cost is estimated to be nearly as high as £200,000 according to the Child Poverty Action Group (CPAG). The most recent studies in the US, published in 2022, claim the total cost of raising a child to the age of 17 has passed the $310,000 for middle-income families.Table Of Contents
Even ignoring the financial costs involved, going through pregnancy and the first year of your baby’s life requires a lot of learning and absorbing information. Our book, You’re Going to be a Dad, is stacked with key information and real-life stories from dads who have been there and done it. It might not quite help with the financial cost of raising a child, but it might just help you out in just about every other area!
How is the full cost of a child worked out?
The first thing to understand is that media reports tend to use the biggest figure - you’ve got to get clicks somehow, right?!
In the UK’s example, the figure of £193,801 is for a lone parent. It actually drops to £160,692 for a parenting couple. And the US estimates are based on a married, middle-income couple raising a child - however, there are several variations for single parents, low-income, and high-income, for example.
The Child Action Poverty Group uses a measure called “Minimum Income Standard (MIS)”, which covers items and services that the public deems essential and every family should be able to afford. It is also not a total cost of all items needed, but rather the difference a child makes to a family’s budget.
Although there are variations between studies, most break down the total cost into six key areas: housing, childcare, food, clothing, education, and leisure/activities.Housing - This covers things like mortgage or rental fees (many couples tend to move to larger houses when they have a child and therefore incur higher fees), taxes like council tax, and energy bills.
Childcare - Typically one of the largest costs, especially in the UK, it covers the cost of nursery fees after maternity/paternity leave until the child starts school.
Food - The average household in the UK spends more than £5,000 ($5,800) on food and drink per year. And almost every parent falls into a state of shock at the amount of food their child eats, regardless of age!
Clothing - As well as your typical everyday clothing, this covers nappies and school uniforms.
Education - Although state education in most developed countries is free, this covers costs like stationery, bags, packed lunches or school dinners, school trips and more.
Leisure - This covers things like family days out, after school clubs, sports clubs, and other activities.
Watch out for suspiciously low figures, too. Some studies look at the cost of raising a child without factoring in things like housing, utilities and childcare; which is pretty bizarre considering the astronomical costs of those things. In fact, a report published by the US Department of Agriculture (who knows why they were studying the cost of raising a child!) suggests that 29% of the total cost of raising a child in the US is down to housing.
Lifestages
Understandably the cost of a child varies quite dramatically over time.
If you consider the total cost (including housing, childcare, energy bills etc), it actually falls as the child gets older, according to the CPAG. For a two-parent household with one child, the weekly spend falls from £295.72 ($343.06) at newborn stage to £94.63 ($109.78) by the time they turn 18. However, if you exclude housing and childcare costs, the weekly spend more than doubles from £48.57 ($56.35) per week (newborn) to £109.56 ($127.10) when they turn 18.
So, let’s look at the different stages of a child’s life and the type of costs you can expect.
Pregnancy and first year
For the majority of new parents, the pregnancy and subsequent first year of their first child’s life represents the biggest outlay in terms of one-off purchases as they seek to get the essentials ready in time for their new arrival.
While it’s certainly true that many of the items can be bought second hand or passed down through generations, some must be bought brand new for safety reasons. For example, research has long shown a link between the use of second hand mattresses in Moses baskets and cots, and an increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).Moses basket / Bassinet - Your baby will spend roughly the first six months of their lives sleeping in a moses basket. New baskets cost £70 ($81) on average, while a new mattress will cost another £20 ($23), there’s also bed sheets to consider but they might only set you back £5-10 ($6-11).
Check out our buying guide on Moses baskets here.Cot - After the first six months, your baby will move into a cot. Most cots will transform into a toddler bed to reduce costs later down the line. You can expect to spend at least £100 ($116) on a new cot. Like the Moses basket, you’ll also need a new mattress (£20/$23) and sheets (£10/$11).
Car seat - Given the cost of a car seat, buying second hand may be appealing. However, structural damage caused by a car crash may not be visible, and therefore a car seat is another item that should be bought brand new. Typically a car seat will cost anything from £50 ($58) to £150 ($175), while Isofix systems will increase the cost although these aren’t essential.
Prams - Prams are much more cost effective than they used to be. Most utilise ‘3 in 1’ systems, which allow them to be converted from a carry cot to a pushchair, as well as being used with a car seat. Costs vary quite wildly, ranging from £150-1,000 ($175-1160).
Clothing - While baby’s clothing is relatively inexpensive per item, the number of changes needed per day and the speed at which they grow out of them, spending on clothing is still somewhat significant in the first year. You may expect to spend anything between £50 ($58) and £100 ($116).
Nappies - If there’s anything that people know about babies before they have one, it’s that they wee and poo…a lot. You’ll spend a sizeable amount of money on nappies in the first year, estimated to be over £250 ($290), in fact. However, reusable nappies are becoming more popular and represent a cost saving on the product itself (although savings will be offset slightly by the cost of washing them).
Check out our guide on reusable nappies here.Feeding - Whether or not your partner is choosing to breastfeed, there can be significant costs involved. If your baby is to be formula fed, the formula alone is likely to cost $1,200 - $1,500 (£1,034 - 1292) alone, according to the US Department of Health & Human Services. In addition, packs of baby bottles can range from £10 ($11) to £50 ($58), and the average bottle steriliser costs in excess of £70 ($81).
There’s a common misconception that breastfeeding is free. Yes, the ‘product’ itself is free in comparison with formula. However, breastfeeding-friendly clothing and underwear is often seen as an essential by many women. Nursing bras are likely to cost at least £20 ($23), while an ample amount of clothing is likely to cost around £50 ($58). Then there are breast pumps, which vary massively depending on whether they are manual - around £10-20 ($11-23) - or electric, and even smart controlled via an app - anything from £150-300 ($175-348). And of course, you will still need those bottle packs and sterilisers.
Changing bag - Perhaps not strictly essential in that you can make do with an ordinary backpack, but purpose-built changing bags are so handy that they’ve claimed a spot in the ‘essential’ category. Average is price is around £40 ($46).
Check out our guide on changing bags here.Stair gates - It may not be a necessity until your baby starts crawling, but many parents will get these in place before birth or during the early months. They are essential for preventing little climbers from having quite serious accidents. It’s not a huge cost, averaging around £30-50 ($35-58), but an important one nonetheless.
High chair - Another one that won’t be needed until a few months down the line, but high chairs are incredibly useful for mealtimes once your baby can hold their head up and is starting solid foods. They typically range between £40 ($46) and £200 ($232).
Toddler years
Childcare - Although many parents will start to experience childcare costs before their baby turns one, we’ve put it here because the toddler years are when the bulk of the cost will come.
And boy is it a big one!
According to the National Childbirth Trust (NCT), the average cost of a full-time nursery place for two-year olds in the UK is an eye-watering £14,000. The UK Government’s tax-free childcare scheme does help towards the cost of childcare, contributing 20% of the total. But you’re still left with some pretty daunting nursery bills. The UK government also offers 30 hours free childcare for three and four year olds. In the US, it can vary quite considerably state-to-state, but costs don’t appear to be quite as high with 58% of families expecting to spend more than $10,000 on childcare over a year.
Food - The toddler years are where you’ll really start a noticeable jump in your food bill. According to US government estimates, food for a couple with a child between the age of one and three is between $33.70 (£29.05) and $37.10 (£32) - or, $1,752.40 (£1,510.56) and $1,929.20 (£1,662.96) a year.
Clothing - While the rate of growth will noticeably slow down during the toddler years, you're still probably having to buy a new set of clothes every spring/summer and autumn/winter. The cost per item increases compared with baby clothes, too. And, as they get older, they are going to need things they didn’t need as a baby, especially during autumn and winter - things like wellies, raincoats, puddle suits, scarves and gloves and a host of other items you haven’t had to buy before.
There are a great deal of reliable breakdowns of how much it costs to clothe a toddler over the course of a year. But there are broader estimates of how much it costs parents to spend on their children, with USDA suggesting the figure is around $1,200 (£1,034).
Activities - The brilliant thing about having a child under the age of two is that they get into most leisure activities and attractions for free. Once they hit that milestone, though, you’ll start to notice the cost of trips and days out start to rise.
Toys - How much you spend on toys is very much a choice rather than necessity. But it is such a staple part of our children’s lives that they mount up to a sizeable cost for parents. According to market research group, NPD, parents spend an average of £367 ($425) in the first two years alone.
Primary school
Childcare - This is when parents start to see a substantial drop in their childcare costs. However, those who work full-time without a degree of flexibility can still expect some costs for breakfast and after school clubs or wraparound care.
After school care costs an average £57 ($66) a week for a primary school-age child, translating to nearly £3,000 ($3,500) a year.
Breakfast clubs are often subsidised through school budgets, charity or business sponsorship, or local or national government schemes. If there are fees, they are usually nominal amounts per breakfast item (less than £1/$1) or a fee less than £2 ($3) per day to attend.Food - Looking back at those US Government estimates from earlier, there’s a considerable jump in the food budget from families with a toddler to those with a primary school aged child. The average weekly food expenditure rises from $37.10 (£32) a week at the ages of 2-3 to $39.60 (£34.14) for families with a 4-5 year old, followed by a big jump to $53.90 (£46.46) at 6-8 and $62.60 (£53.10) for families with a 9-11 year old.
There are also school dinners to consider. While it was a fiercely debated issue in the UK during the Covid pandemic, school dinners remain a cost to consider for many families. The daily charge varies between areas of the country and between local authorities, but most are typically £2-3 ($3-5) per meal per day. It may not seem much, but across the whole school year it can add up to anything between £360 ($417) and £540 ($626).
Activities - Primary school is when you will likely see your child start to really discover their hobbies and interests, and with it a desire to join a variety of clubs. A report conducted in 2019 showed the financial scale of some of these activities:
- Sports clubs - £260 ($300) a year
- Dance lessons - £208 ($240) a year
- Music lessons - £208 ($240) a year
- Swimming lessons - £312 ($360) a year
- Gymnastics/martial arts - £416 ($480) a year
- Arts lessons - £156 ($180) a year
And then there’s the increased appetite for family days out - trips to the zoo, bowling, cinema, soft play, holiday-related activities at Christmas, Easter or Halloween. One study suggests that parents spend a whopping £2,327 ($2,700) a year on ‘making memories’ with their children.
Oh and there’s the school trips! Prices vary dramatically depending on the age of the class, the activity, and where it is, so it’s quite hard to give a typical figure. However, one study claims parents part with as much as £4,000 ($4,600) over the course of their child’s education.Birthday parties - This one has been given its own little section because as soon as your child starts primary school (maybe even before, if they attend the school’s nursery setting), you’ll spend what feels like every weekend at a birthday party. There’s a social pressure to buy a present, but no parent wants to spend a great deal on one child, because they’ll have to do it for every child. So you just end up buying something for £5 that the kid probably isn’t going to bother with anyway (rant over…can you tell I was at a birthday party this morning??).
The study mentioned above estimates the combined cost of hosting your own child’s birthday party, and attending their friends’ parties to reach £581 ($674) a year.
Clothing - The good news is that clothes tend to last them much longer as their growth rate slows. The bad news is that cost per item rises, and so does their interest in clothes (especially in the later years of primary school). In the US, the Department of Agriculture estimates that parents will spend an average of $737 (£635) on their child’s clothing per year.
If your child is a sports fan, you’re likely to be in for a rough ride. A typical Premier League football kit for ‘Little Kids’ (up to 6-7) costs around £55 ($63), with ‘Youth’ sizes (8-15) costing an extra £5 ($6-7). Bear in mind that clubs usually release three kits per season, every season!
And, of course, for UK parents there’s the dreaded school uniform. With most schools insisting on official schoolwear sporting the school’s badge (often only available from a single supplier), uniform costs an average of £315 ($365) for primary school pupils, including a bag, coat and shoes. Then there’s stationery on top of that!
However, there is some good news for parents. There are already government grants available to assist with the cost of school uniforms for families on low incomes. And more schools are becoming less strict about branded items, allowing parents to opt for cheaper alternatives from supermarkets.
Tech - Given the nature of the technological society we live in, you may already be feeling a burning social pressure to get your child tech by this age - phones, tablets, games consoles.
It’s quite difficult to give an annual figure for primary school age children, because it’s very much down to parents if and when these things are purchased. But to give you an idea:
- Children’s tablet - £80 - 200 ($90 - 230)
- Games console - £280 - 500 ($325 - 580)
- Video games - £40 - 60 ($46 - 70)
- Phone - Average spend on a first smartphone is £136 ($157)
Redecorating - As your child enters their primary school years, you may find yourself needing to totally redecorate their bedroom. It may well be decorated in the same way it has been since they were a baby, with smaller furniture and need a big overhaul. That might be followed by a number of smaller redecorations as they get a little older and their interests change - although this is more likely to be a lick of paint and some soft furnishings.
A study conducted in 2019 found that the average parent spends more than £5,000 ($5,800) decorating their child’s bedroom between birth and their 10th birthday.
Secondary/High school
Food - The secondary school years are probably when you’ll look at your child in amazement at just how much they eat as they go through puberty and other significant growth periods. You’ll probably find that a child’s meal at a restaurant is no longer enough and your food shop grows and grows as the years go by.
Describing their children as ‘bottomless pits’, a US study claims that the average parent will spend a staggering $51,000 (£44,000) on feeding a child between the ages of 13 and 19.
Tech - While you may have been able to get away with a budget-end of the market or second hand piece of tech during the primary school years, secondary school brings with it a whole host of social pressures to have the latest and greatest of just about everything. The latest phone, a top of the range laptop or tablet, the latest generation of games consoles and the new hit release, their own TV for their room. Parents with avid gamers will also face annual fees (usually £40-50/$46-58) to let them play video games online with their friends.
Energy bills - Every parent knows that a time will come where their child doesn’t want to spend time with them. They’d rather be in their rooms, listening to music, playing video games, watching YouTube videos or a film. The knock-on effect of that is an increase in energy bills.
Childcare - You might still have to spend a bit on wraparound care in the early years of secondary school, but by and large it’s time to celebrate!!! Your child is nearing an age where they’re responsible enough to be left alone at home… no childcare costs!!!
Clothing - By now, your child is probably very conscious of what they wear and the social pressures to wear certain clothes and brands. A study in the US estimates that the average teenager spends $104 (£90) on clothes per week(!!), adding up to an eye-watering
