Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. There is no one right way to parent, but rather a variety of effective strategies that can be tailored to fit your child’s needs and your family’s dynamic. Parenting styles are general approaches rather than specific techniques, and there are many different ways to parent. The key is finding the parenting style that works for you and your child. Armed with that knowledge, how do you know which parenting style will work best for you? While every child is unique and responds to parenting in different ways, most kids benefit from consistent boundaries, encouragement, and communication from their parents. To figure out which parenting style suits your child best, consider these factors:

Define your parenting goals

When you understand what you want out of parenting, it can help you determine what style is best for your child. For example, if you want to be a hands-off parent and keep your distance, a democratic parenting style may be best. If you want to have a close, involved relationship with your child, a democratic parenting style may not be best because your child may not feel as close to you. If you want your child to be able to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes, a permissive parenting style may be best. However, if you want your child to have consistent rules and boundaries, a permissive parenting style may not be best.

What parenting style works best for your child?

Each parenting style has its strengths and weaknesses. What works for one child may not work for another. The following table outlines the strengths and weaknesses of each parenting style. As you examine the strengths and weaknesses of each parenting style, you may identify a parenting style that works well for your child. Or, you may find that a combination of approaches may be best. For example, a democratic parenting style that includes a healthy dose of discipline may work well for many children.

Authoritative parenting

An authoritative parenting style sets clear expectations and boundaries, but also encourages a healthy amount of independence. Authoritative parents use discipline as a last resort, but they are also willing to set firm boundaries and enforce consequences when necessary. This parenting style is best for children who respond well to being challenged. While every child is different, most kids benefit from having clear expectations, consistent boundaries, and a healthy amount of independence. This parenting style encourages kids to set their own goals and work towards them. But it also sets reasonable expectations based on each child’s maturity level and current skill set. Authoritative parents set clear expectations, encourage healthy risk-taking, and provide guidance and feedback when necessary.

Authoritative-supportive parenting

An authoritative-supportive parenting style combines the best aspects of authoritative and democratic parenting. This style sets clear expectations and boundaries, but also encourages kids to set and work towards their own goals. Authoritative-supportive parenting is best for children who enjoy having clear expectations and consistent boundaries, but also need a little extra encouragement and autonomy. This parenting style encourages kids to set their own goals and work towards them. It also sets reasonable expectations based on each child’s maturity level and current skill set. Authoritative-supportive parents set clear expectations, provide guidance and feedback when necessary, and encourage kids to challenge themselves.

Confrontational parenting

A confrontational parenting style uses conflict and confrontation as a way to control your child’s behavior. Confrontational parents are often quick to set rules, set firm boundaries, and punish kids when those rules are broken. Confrontational parenting is best for kids who respond well to strict rules and punishment. While every child is different, many kids benefit from having clear rules, consistent boundaries, and consequences when those rules are broken. This parenting style encourages kids to set goals, but also sets firm rules and boundaries that are rarely broken. Confrontational parents often set rules based on their own childhood experiences and beliefs. They also may be quick to punish kids when rules are broken, without taking the time to consider other disciplinary options.

Permissive parenting

A permissive parenting style sets few expectations and boundaries, leaving kids to govern themselves and follow few rules. Permissive parents often have a hands-off approach to parenting and rely on bribes, rewards, and praise to encourage good behavior. This parenting style is best for kids who respond well to few rules and minimal discipline. While every child is different, many kids benefit from having clear expectations, consistent boundaries, and consequences when those rules are broken. This parenting style often leaves kids to set their own rules. It also rarely sets expectations based on each child’s maturity level or current skill set. Permissive parents rarely discipline their kids, leaving discipline to the child. Or, they may use bribes, rewards, and praise to encourage good behavior.

Conclusion

The best parenting style for your child depends on many different factors. When you understand what you want out of parenting and what each parenting style offers, you can better determine which approach is best for you and your child. While every child is different, most kids benefit from having clear expectations, consistent boundaries, and a healthy amount of independence. With that knowledge, you can find the parenting style that works best for you and your child.

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