It took some strength to write that blog title today. I am still not in a good place but therapy is booked for Friday and I am trying to get better. I listen to the amazing Emma Kenny when I can as that always helps. I played a happiness hypnotherapy CD yesterday. I forced myself out of the house today even though it felt like a superhuman effort. So although I still have so much sadness and feel lost a lot of the time, I thought I would blog about how today is different to this time last year. I am back in the UK so I understand what people say. I had good French but communicating in a different language brings its own challenges. I am in the same country as all 3 of my children. I live with 2 of them. I am not shouted at or sworn at. I don’t have to try desperately not to look at computer or phone screens in case dating sites or pornography pop up reminding me I am fundamentally not up to scratch. I am sleeping on a sofa bed but by choice and not because my husband did not want to sleep with me. I am with my brother who tells me over and over that he loves me and just wants me to be happy. There is hope of a positive future. I need to learn to be patient. I got some important correspondence sent off. I bought a gift and a card for someone who had done me a huge Favour. That really cheered me up. I Love to give. I am back to healthy eating having slipped and piled on a few pounds. People reached out to me when I vented on Twitter. I also saw a course with the incredible Katy Hill that might be worth investing in. I got back into my email after 2 months without it when I signed out and could not remember the password. I cleaned over the weekend in a good way and sorted out my daughter’s bedroom. We were sharing but I am letting her have it now. Lucky 13 – I ordered 2 new toilet brushes and they arrived today. I even put them together all by myself. Hey, it’s the little things. I have a job. The future may yet be amazing. I shouldn’t jinx it by expecting bad things. Now that is quite a positive post for me these days. I have a favour to ask. If anyone who has read my posts would like to say what they think holds me back in life and getting happy, please leave a comment or pop me an email to [email protected] I really want to hit the ground running now and ensure that when the restrictions lift I can attack life again with some sort of gusto. Your feedback will help. Be kind or brutal – it will all help! Thanks for sticking with such a Misery Knickers!
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