"If I do this, that might happen, but not practically correct."
That is my mindset whenever I do anything. I need to think twice, thrice, or even more, afraid of something unexpected.
Life is Dynamic. The results can be anything, could be good, bad, or both even though you're doing good things. There's like only 33,33..% chance you'll get good result without any bad ones.
For example..
When people ask me to do something (about interacting to people), I'll get very nervous.
"I don't want to make any mistakes."
" I doubt I can do it."
Finally, I failed to do what they want because I haven't done anything. They get Angry, and my anxiety grows even more. I don't want to see them anymore. Just seeing them makes me depressed, and my head feels like going to explode. I don't want to be their burden anymore. It's better for me to be alone forever, without talking to other people.
Even though I do what they asked me, following their rules and other things, sometimes the result not what I expected. They make weird faces, which makes me feel bad. Finally I got depressed.. again.
"Why they're not happy? Why they're giving me those angry look..?"
"They're going to hate me now. They know my personality is bad."
"Are they keeping their bad words from me..? Why?"
I actually want to help them, not to be their burden. But, being unable to do something is what everyone hates. My lack of social skills make it worse.
Yes, I know I shouldn't think like that. It's very hard to remove that habit.
Results are not always absolute.
