I should be proud of my financial Situation, right? I've worked hard, saved and invested, and reaped the benefits. But one thing I left out of my post the other day about some of my friends who remind me how lucky I am, is that I can't help feeling a little awkward or embarrassed sometimes when I talk about Money matters with them. For all that I can empathize with their struggles, my own life is totally different. I don't have their fears and worries right now. And I wonder if they resent my situation or feel envious. I've realized that I share a lot less about my life on social media now because I worry that I'll sound like I'm bragging or rubbing people's noses in my good fortune. Perhaps that is also why my writing on this site has lagged so much in the last few years (though I have no excuse for losing momentum several years ago, well before I retired!). It's one thing to be striving and working and in the fray of trying to get ahead. But once you just stop and say "I have enough money and I'm just going to chill out for a while" it's not very relatable!

On this site, I can be quite open about things-- that's always been the whole point. And in "real life" I have always tried to be realistic about finances, if not totally transparent. Because our culture can be so caught up in materialism and keeping up appearances, I felt like I was doing a civic duty in a way whenever I'd say "I can't afford that" or "I've been saving a lot of my paycheck so I can afford that" or "I've been maxing out my 401k since a very early age." So many people fall into cliches when talking about money, somehow reinforcing the idea that it is okay and normal to be constantly spending money on nice things and having lots of debt-- I don't want to be part of that. But sometimes it's easier to tell little white lies about one's situation. I've met a number of people in our new community that have asked if I'm retired, with a sort of doubtful look, like "I don't want to insult you by implying you are older than you look but you don't seem to be working and you're not at home with children and I also don't want to insult you by asking if you've been laid off..." In a couple of these conversations I've ended up downplaying my financial freedom and talking more about being "between jobs" or "trying to change careers" or "doing some consulting projects" or "hoping to start a new job soon but it's dependent on funding..." The latter is basically true, but all of these things are easier to say than "well, I don't really have to work right now and yeah, I've basically retired 20 years before most people do, but no, it's not because I've inherited great wealth, I'm just a normal person who was fortunate enough to have parents who could support most of her education and give her a happy childhood while imbuing her with a lifelong penchant for saving money, and I've never been afraid to invest..." That's all kind of a mouthful, a bit TMI!

Ultimately, I can't control what people who don't know me think about me. The truth is too long a story. But I wish there was a way to convey it. Some of my situation is due to luck/privilege, but a lot of it is due to controllable factors. I suppose what would embarrass me most is to be seen as someone who has benefited from pure luck and doesn't "deserve it." But I feel proud if I can serve as an example of someone who has made good choices-- choices that anyone can make.