I believe I’ve written about this before, but maybe not all as one piece. My House. My mortgage. My thoughts.

First, some background. The kids (Gymnast and Princess) and I have moved ALOT since my marriage fell apart. So much that I’ve lost count and don’t have the energy to count them up right now. Rental homes pulled out from under me because the owners wanted to move back or sell the house, etc. Then my dad wanting to sell the house he bought to give us some stability when he moved out of state. Job loss meaning, I couldn’t afford even apartment housing in the expensive area we lived in previously (Williamsburg, VA). So many moves.

We moved into our current home in April, 2017. It was a rental, after living with my grandmother after our emergency move to Georgia in December, 2016. Then a few years later, I bought it and have pretty much completely remodeled it.

Now here’s an important point about housing for me: The only reason I was able to purchase this home was because I went back to the corporate world. As a contractor, getting financing has always been challenging. The roller coaster of income doesn’t encourage trust by the banking industries.

Contemplating the Now

Now I face and have to consider selling my house, the house that has become the home I have never, ever had. These are the thoughts swarming my head (and why I am putting this decision off until after the new year):

• If I sell this home, the chances of me being able to buy another in the foreseeable future one are slim to none unless I go back into the corporate world full time. I’m not opposed to that, but the last year has made it clear that, it may take a while to make that happen as lay offs happen daily in this economic climate.
• If I stay put, to make the type of money I want/need, I will have find online work and/or work multiple jobs. The local opportunities are very, very limited. I’ve done this before, for a lot of years, but I also have failed miserably in the past with this.
• If I sell this home, I can move to Texas and help my parents out while they need it. I’m sure my dad will help me out while I make the move and find work. Not to mention, there’s a huge job market there. But I will need to rehome some dogs. And until Beauty gets out from under her legal stuff, I will need to find housing for her here in Georgia. I will essentially be starting out with no income. The work I currently have is relatively dependent on me being here.
• If I stay put, the cost of living here is very reasonable. And once I get out from under the debt load, the ability to maintain the lifestyle I want will be very affordable. And I actually love living in this small town. I love having no traffic, making connections, and being able to get anywhere within just a minutes. Not to mention, it’s a good “halfway” point for where all the kids are living. (I am using halfway very loosely here.)
• If I sell this house, the debt load would be significantly lowered. While the proceeds won’t cover all my debt, it would pay off a big chunk of it. An almost fresh start. But I would be starting with nothing but my car, my current possessions.
• If I stay put, I will have to maintain this house by myself. My boys have moved away, and there are just things I cannot do myself. While everything is good order now, there will be expenses and maintenance that I will need to find reliable help with. This would be the case with any home I bought though.
• If I sell the house, I will not have a homebase to live out the rest of my life. When my parents need is over, I will have to figure out what’s next. And I’ve said for YEARS that I did not want to live in Texas again. (In conversations with Gymnast, I am not sure he will stay in Texas. But being close to the kids isn’t a factor for me, I am comfortable with travelling, when I can again.)

It’s ALOT

There are lots of moving parts. I do not know the right answer. As a commenter has pointed out, I think I have to figure out what I want next in life. And then make decisions towards that end. To be honest, I am pulled in so many directions. And I don’t think that the financial challenges point me in a clear direction either. This is why I am tabling this decision to the new year.

Do you disagree?

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