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Every Hulk Hogan Movie, Ranked

Terry “Hulk Hogan” Bollea is arguably the most famous and instantly recognizable professional wrestler ever to walk the Earth. It's no surprise, therefore, that he made the transition to acting.

Hogan has acted in television shows and movies and made his screen debut in 1982's Rocky III in a not-so-demanding role as professional wrestler Thunderlips.

It's fair to say he hasn't had the most stellar acting career — he's certainly no Laurence Olivier and most of the 15 films he's appeared in range from just about watchable to outright laughable — but it's undoubtedly been entertaining. In this piece, we'll rank all of his movies.

1. Little Hercules (2009, directed by Mohamed Khashoggi)

Image Credit: Gravitas Ventures.

Little Hercules is a family fantasy adventure movie in which the young Hercules goes to Earth to experience life as a real boy. He leaves Mount Olympus and heads to Burbank, California, where shenanigans ensue due to the clash of cultures.

Hogan plays Zeus, the king of the gods who's also Hercules' father, and he's as hilariously miscast as it sounds. Incredibly, the cast includes established names like Elliott Gould, John Heard, Judd Nelson, and Robin Givens, but they're all terrible except for Givens, who provides some charm. Little Hercules is poorly scripted, silly, and juvenile. It's so bad it's funny.

2. The Ultimate Weapon (1998, directed by Jon Cassar and John Strong)

Image Credit: Moonstone Entertainment.

The Ultimate Weapon is an action movie about a mercenary on the verge of retirement who discovers the team he's working for on his last job is a group of IRA gunrunners and turns against them, putting himself, his partner, and his family at risk.

The brilliantly named mercenary, Hardball Cutter, is played by Hogan in possibly his least child-friendly role, and it doesn't suit him. The Ultimate Weapon has plenty of action but is overly violent, with foul language and equally bad performances from its little-known cast. It's incredible that, even with two directors, it still came out this bad.

3. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998, directed by Sean McNamara)

Image Credit: Sony Pictures Releasing.

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is a martial arts movie and the fourth and final installment in the 3 Ninjas franchise. In this one, the eponymous brothers fight to save their favorite television star and Mega Mountain Amusement Park from a nasty child-hating criminal.

Hogan plays Dave Dragon from the Ninjas' favorite television show, Dave Dragon & the Star Force 5. His character helps the trio defeat their criminal enemy, and the wrestler gives a rather touching performance by his standards. However, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is lackluster, poorly acted, and bordering on foolishness, but younger children might enjoy the silliness of it.

4. McCinsey's Island (1998, directed by Sam Firstenberg)

Image Credit: Monarch Home Video.

McCinsey's Island is an action-adventure comedy movie about a Secret Service agent who comes out of retirement with his ex-partner to catch an old nemesis, with all three of them searching for a lost buried treasure.

Hogan plays Joe McGrai, the ex-Secret Service agent, and he's far from convincing. Grace Jones plays Alanso Richter, his nemesis, in one of her worst roles. Robert Vaughn also appears; you must assume he did it as a joke. McCinsey's Island is a terrible movie with awful dialogue and bad acting. The opening is abysmal, and the ending is laughable. It rounds off a terrible 1998 for Hogan, even by his acting standards.

5. Santa with Muscles (1996, directed by John Murlowski)

Image Credit: Cabin Fever Entertainment.

Santa with Muscles is a Christmas comedy movie about a heartless millionaire who sells bodybuilding supplements and has an accident that renders him an amnesiac, making him believe he is Santa Claus.

Blake Thorn is the arrogant rich guy and the eponymous muscular Santa Claus, played by Hogan without his usual charisma. Santa with Muscles is a poorly directed and dumb film that lacks the laughs it weakly attempts to generate, but if you're looking for a lazy festive watch, it'll do. In this one, the faces to look out for include Clint Howard, a young Mila Kunis, and a young Brenda Song.

6. Thunder in Paradise (1993, directed by Douglas Schwartz)

Image Credit: Trimark Pictures.

Thunder in Paradise is a direct-to-video action adventure comedy movie that served as a pilot for the television series of the same name. It's about an ex-Navy SEAL who, along with his wife, partner, and a super boat called Thunder, thwarts a group of jewel thieves.

It's slightly different from how the series eventually ended up being, but it offers similar entertainment – very little. Hogan plays Randolph J. “Hurricane” Spencer, the ex-SEAL, and he's not great. Frankly, neither is any of the unknown supporting cast. You'll get some laughs from this one, but it's mainly too corny, badly written, and poorly acted to be considered decent. Notably, Hogan wears an eyepatch for some of this film, supposedly due to a black eye given to him by Randy Savage in a real brawl.

7. Mr. Nanny (1993, directed by Michael Gottlieb)

Image Credit: New Line Cinema.

Mr. Nanny is a family comedy movie about a former professional wrestler who gets hired as the bodyguard and nanny for a pair of mischievous siblings whose inventor father's main rival is stalking him.

The eponymous character, Sean Armstrong, is played by Hogan in one of his most self-deprecating roles. He plays along with the mayhem just fine and does an okay job. Mr. Nanny‘s premise has potential, but it feels wasted, as it's overly chaotic, and the laughs are few and far between. It's also more crass than it needs to be, and some of its content is less suitable for children than parents might expect and hope.

8. The Secret Agent Club (1996, directed by John Murlowski)

Image Credit: Cabin Fever Entertainment.

The Secret Agent Club is a spy action comedy about a secret spy, posing in life as a clumsy toy seller, who steals a laser gun and tells his family it's a toy but finds himself in peril when the theft victim sends her henchmen to retrieve the gun and capture the spy.

Hogan plays Ray Chase, the spy trying to hide his job – and the laser gun – from his family. He's the best thing about the film, but that's not saying much, as the other characters are highly annoying. The Secret Agent Club is poorly acted and has a silly concept, but it's innocent fun, and young kids will enjoy it. It also has the rare sight of Hogan without facial hair, which is worth the effort of watching it alone.

9. Spy Hard (1996, directed by Rick Friedberg)

Image Credit: Buena Vista Pictures Distribution.

Spy Hard is a spy parody movie about a secret agent assigned to stop an evil General from destroying the world, so he teams up with an attractive KGB agent to do so.

Leslie Nielsen plays Dick Steele, AKA Agent WD-40, and Nicollette Sheridan plays the KGB agent he works with, Veronique Ukrinsky, AKA Agent 3.14. They do their best with the material but said material is largely terrible and slapdash, so it doesn't work. Nielsen is always worth watching, but the good jokes are too sporadic for Spy Hard to be a classic. Hogan has a brief cameo as a wrestler who helps WD-40 in a fight. The cast also includes Charles Durning and Marcia Gay Harden.

10. No Holds Barred (1989, directed by Thomas J. Wright)

Image Credit: New Line Cinema.

No Holds Barred is a sports action movie about a wrestling champion who gets pitted in a brutal match-up against a vicious former convict by a corrupt television network boss.

Hogan plays Rip Thomas, the wrestling champion who gets pitted against Tiny Lister's Zeus by the nasty Tom Brell, played by Kurt Fuller. Hogan has a likable screen presence in this one, and Lister and Fuller make for suitably despicable villains. The wrestling scenes are fun and cartoonish, and No Holds Barred has plenty of appealing '80s cheese, but modern standards mean it is problematic in parts, and it was never going to win any awards for its writing or acting.

11. Suburban Commando (1991, directed by Burt Kennedy)

Image Credit: New Line Cinema.

Suburban Commando is a sci-fi action comedy movie about an interstellar hero from another world forced to crash land on Earth who gets hunted by a pair of galactic bounty hunters while trying to fit in with an average suburban family.

There's a reasonably solid supporting cast of Christopher Lloyd and Shelley Duvall here, but as likable and talented as they are, the material doesn't allow them to do much. Hogan plays Shep Ramsey, the interstellar hero, and he has so little to do that it's difficult to call him the lead. Suburban Commando is inoffensive, with some decent moments of action, but its worst offense is that, for the most part, it's boring.

12. Gnomeo & Juliet (2011, directed by Kelly Asbury)

Image Credit: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

Gnomeo & Juliet is a computer-animated rom-com loosely based on William Shakespeare's 1597 play Romeo and Juliet. It's about the eponymous pair of garden gnomes who fall in love but must keep their budding romance a secret because their families are feuding.

Hogan has a small voice role as the Terrafirminator Announcer, an unseen character who promotes the “Terrafirminator” lawnmower, and he does fine. The impressive voice cast of this one includes James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Jason Statham, Maggie Smith, Stephen Merchant, Matt Lucas, Patrick Stewart, Ozzy Osbourne, and Dolly Parton. Gnomeo & Juliet is an energetic, enjoyable, funny little film, but it does pale compared to the animated features of Pixar and DreamWorks.

13. Muppets from Space (1999, directed by Tim Hill)

Image Credit: Sony Pictures Releasing.

Muppets from Space is a sci-fi comedy and the sixth theatrical movie featuring the eponymous iconic puppet characters. In this one, Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat get captured by the government during the former's attempts to discover his origins, prompting Kermit the Frog and the other Muppets to set out to rescue them.

This one stars Jeffrey Tambor and Andie MacDowell and features cameos from loads of big stars, like David Arquette, Kathy Griffin, Ray Liotta, Katie Holmes, Joshua Jackson, and Hogan, who ably plays himself working as a government operative who assists in the Muppets' capture. Muppets from Space is harmless, silly fun, with some intelligent humor thrown in for good measure, but it doesn't have the magic of the Muppets' best offerings.

14. Rocky III (1982, directed by Sylvester Stallone)

Image Credit: MGM/UA Entertainment Co.

Rocky III is a sports drama movie, the sequel to 1979's Rocky II, and the third installment in the Rocky franchise. This one sees the eponymous journeyman boxer facing a powerful new contender for his world heavyweight championship.

Sylvester Stallone plays Rocky Balboa for the third time in this one. Carl Weathers join him as Apollo Creed, who helps him train for his fight against Mr. T's Clubber Lang. Hogan plays Thunderlips, the world wrestling champion who fights Balboa in an exhibition for charity, in another undemanding role in which he does fine. Rocky III is a decent film but far below the standards of the original installment. Still, it's fun, with excellent boxing action, and it introduced us to Survivor's iconic “Eye of the Tiger.”

15. Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990, directed by Joe Dante)

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch is a black comedy horror movie and the sequel to 1984's Gremlins. In this one, when Gizmo's owner dies, the mogwai becomes a guinea pig for science experiments in a New York City skyscraper. When he multiplies, and chaos ensues, his former owner Billy and his friends step in to prevent a disaster.

When it was first released, it flopped, and critics hated it, as it lacked everything its predecessor had regarding scares, thrills, and charm. However, reassessment has determined that the satire it provides is bordering on genius. It's a brilliantly self-referential send-up of cinema, particularly sequels. Original cast members Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Dick Miller, Jackie Joseph, and Keye Luke return, and John Glover, Robert Prosky, Haviland Morris, Robert Picardo, and Christopher Lee join them. Hogan plays himself in a funny but bizarre cameo whereby he reprimands the monsters for misbehaving in a cinema – and it will make you giggle. Gremlins 2: The New Batch is well worth watching if you don't expect anything remotely similar to Gremlins.



This post first appeared on The Financial Pupil, please read the originial post: here

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Every Hulk Hogan Movie, Ranked

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