Have you been through a lot of relationships? Do people around you distance themselves from you? Are people scared to date/ befriend you? The problem might just be: you. You may be infected with ‘crazy Obsessive Psycho Girlfriend disorder’. If you cherish your love life, you’re going to want to treat it ASAP. If any of these thoughts go through your head, you’re surely infected.

Sometimes, when he tells you that he’s going somewhere, you just want to ‘surprise’ him or make sure he’s alright. The last thing you want, is some girl taking advantage of him. You also want to make sure he isn’t lying. Every relationship should be built on trust, right? It’s okay to test the waters a few times a week. Just precautionary measures. You also want to build better relationships with his friends. So that means, you want to know who he hangs out with, where, and for how long. So yeah, driving past the coffee shop to check up on him and his friend is totally okay. A few in person check ups from the Girlfriend doesn’t hurt.

As a girlfriend it’s always good to be friends with his friends, even if it’s only through Facebook. If you’ve never met them, it gives you a chance to fully explore and understand the other girl’s personality. So that means, finding their twitter, old school pictures, embarrassing photos, inbox messages, and wall messages with your boyfriend. If you find back to back comments with her and your boyfriend, bonus! Make sure you read all of it! It prepares you for when you meet them, you guys can totally hit it off. It also gives you a chance to really let his girl friends know how you feel about him. So if you feel like they’re too close or are too flirty, sending one or five inboxes to her telling her to back off or you’ll burn her house down is acceptable. You are friends after all, and friends are honest.

What’s his is yours, and his business is your business. You need to make sure he’s not doing anything sneaky. As a girlfriend, you feel the need to monitor what he does, and what’s going on in his social life. If you can’t be with him 24/7, you can check to see what he’s up to when you’re not there. And yes, you know the secrets of looking up ‘deleted’ text messages on his phone through the search bar.If he refuses to let you see his phone, he must be cheating. It’s 100% a fact. Why else would he be hiding his phone? Sometimes, you have to go through his phone without him knowing just to make sure he’s not deliberately getting rid of any shady evidence. I mean- you’re just trying to show how much you care about him.

Every good relationship plans into the future. Both sides of the relationship should put effort into it. Your job as a girlfriend is to make sure the relationship stays solid. You have to make sure that it will never result in a break up. If you’re on the pill, skip a few. If you’re using condoms, poke some holes in it. You want to plan to have a baby. Make it a surprise because surprises are always cute. You want to show him that you’re serious about the relationship, and you plan to stay with him forever. This is really important because if you ever get in an argument with him, you can remind him of how good a mother you will be a few months down the road. A girlfriend that’s wifey material? How can he resist?

A good girlfriend obviously looks out for her man, right? And I’m sure everyone can agree, your closest friends, can be your worst enemies. So, it’s very necessary to somehow gain access to his Facebook account so you can filter his friends for him. Take your time and go through his entire friend’s list. Look through each person’s pictures, videos, notes, and posts. Pay close attention to girls, because girls can be very sneaky. If you feel like a girl is too intimating, or looks too good to be real, get that fake b**** off his Facebook. Delete her out of his life. He doesn’t need any other woman that looks better than you. You’re the best looking one. He doesn’t need any girl drama. If he questions why his girl friends disappeared… Well- who needs them anyways?!

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you should give everything up to him whenever he asks for it. You need to let him know who’s in charge. You’ve got to be a power girlfriend. When he misbehaves, it only makes sense to punish him so he learns. But let’s be real- violence is not the way to do it. So threatening to not pleasure him or have sex is a sensible way to handle things. If you keep giving him what he wants, he will never learn. There’s nothing wrong with showing him who’s boss.

You’re his girlfriend, that means you have to be top priority. No one comes before you, ever. If he wants to go out with his friends to watch the game, and you want to Watch Gossip Girl, he sure as hell better choose to watch Gossip Girl no matter how much he hates it. He is not allowed to choose friends over you. You are the most important person in his life. It doesn’t matter how much more fun the other activity is, as long as you two are together, you’re having the time of your lives. Bros over bitches? No. Girlfriend over all.