In terms of getting in Shape or bodybuilding its always the best to have a Gym Partner who is positive and has similar goals to yours, a partner like that will be committed and never miss gym sessions, they will motivate you and remind you of your goals when you start slacking, instead of making excuses for poor diet and not being able to make it to gym, when you have a good gym partner you will always make a plan to make up for whatever is happening in your lives that is affecting your gym schedule. In my experience I have found it to be hard to find a good, reliable and consistent gym partner, so I always end up going by myself because not having a gym partner is not a good excuse. If you are lucky enough to find a like-minded gym partner, it’s good to have a gym partner who is positive and believes that if you put in consistent work and you are progressing in terms of the types of exercises you are doing the amount of weight you are able to pick up then you will get the results you deserve. It’s good to have a realistic gym partner who does not expect results immediately as muscles don’t work like that, there is no muscle lottery. You don’t need negative energy, or people who think good results are achievable only by using steroids. I do not support the use of steroids by normal gym goers who don’t compete at a level where everyone is using steroids but I do know that whether a person is using steroids or not they still need to work hard to get their body to look amazing and champion level so there is a lot to learn from anyone with a better body or a body like the one I want to have.

Another sort of partner that’s important in achieving and maintaining your dream physique is your wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend. I have realized that I can be attracted to someone who is out of shape and not into the gym lifestyle because I find them facially attractive and they have a great personality but long term we would start having problems because my belief and their believes when it comes to fitness and body image are not the same so eventually I would end up hurting the girls feelings or I will convince them to join the gym and get in better shape. It’s important to have a like-minded partner, someone who will support you and push you to be your best, not someone who will judge you and put you down for being obsessed with the gym. I have had many people tell me that I’m obsessed with the gym and that it was a waste of time and what was being buff getting me? I have always been confused by those negative statements because going to gym is my hobby it makes me feel good and it’s how I destress, and gym is a priority for me, other people have hobbies as well which consume their time and you don’t hear people complaining about them and trying to bring them down because of their hobbies. And I find it’s usually out of shape people who are negative about my being gym obsessed.

Luckily I have a girlfriend who is supportive of my gym habits and she actually wants me to stay in shape and always reminds me to go to gym and to eat up so I don’t get skinny, and also since we started dating she has become a gym junkie herself. People will think that I was the one who made her go to gym but she actually wants to go by herself, Yes I encourage her to get in shape. I always say that we are in our 20s and now is the best time to look the best and feel the best we are ever going to be, before old age, marriage and kids enter the equation. I always say if you can’t get in the best shape in your life when things are still fairly simple then its highly unlikely that you will be in shape when things are more complicated because then you will have more excuses, some people can do it but it’s rare.

As I was saying like attracts like, associate yourself with like-minded people, people who motivate you, people with positive energy. How often do you see a couple where one is extremely fit and the other is at the opposite end of the spectrum? I have never seen that, but I bet it’s rare you usually find overweight people with overweight people and fit people involved with other fit people because people are comfortable around people who are similar to them. I know here in Africa you find couples where the husband is skinny and the wife is fat or big, but usually the husband is naturally skinny not that he is fit or into the health/fitness lifestyle. And there is this whole obsession about “thick” girls now and I get it, I’m also into curvy woman but to me there is a difference between being curvy and being fat and overweight.

 If you want to be a certain way, you have to surround yourself with people who are the way you want to be. It’s no use surrounding yourself with negative people who always bring you down.