Today truly was a beautiful day.  Hot, but beautiful.  As it comes to an end, the radiant sun slips out of view and disappears.  My rather dust-coated fan spins around in desperate attempt to bring me some relief from the lingering afternoon heat.  The obnoxiously loud cars continue to drive by my window blaring their music as a sign that summer weather is upon us.  A calming sensation comes over the room as I sit here all alone.

I listen to the giggles on the other side of my incredibly thin wall.  I wish to be a part of the fun, but I know this will always be an empty wish.  I know if I were to enter the room I would feel out of place.  I know that I would enter the room and almost immediately feel the need to retreat back to the safety of my own room.

There was a time when we were all good friends.  There was a time when I could be a part of that fun.  I should have known better than to live with people I actually like.  Year after year I continue to live with people I really like and year after year I continue to lose some of my best friends.  I do not actually know what it is about me that makes me a bad person to live with, I just know that I would be better off living alone.

Lately, I have been feeling incredibly alone.  Technically, I have not been alone at all.  I have been hanging out with friends and I have been participating in activities involving others.  And yet, I still feel lonely.  It could just be the time of year.  It is a stressful time as school comes to an end.  Or it could just be that I am jealous of the relationship that my roommates have formed without me.  It could even just be that I really miss home.  I cannot pinpoint the exact cause.  All I know, is that somehow, you can be completely surrounded by people and yet still feel incredibly alone.

The sky darkens to a shade of blue that is simply magnificent.  I look out my window and watch as the world transitions from day to night.  I listen to the laughter of all the surrounding people who are out enjoying the beauty of it all, and I wish, that somehow, I was more a part of it.