So, here I am again. Uncertain but growing more and more sure that I've found another Relationship that will just strip me bare and beat me bloody, metaphorically speaking. It's not even a relationship, this time. It's more like the karmic boomerang, relationship edition. Little Danny chased after me and I was absent and "too busy." And here I am, chasing after someone who is busy and uncommunicative and doesn't seem to mirror my emotional attachment. I'm a leech, an emotional vampire, a...something else bad that would explain why I can't put together a decent relationship to save my life.
I should be ok with this. I decided a while back that I like living alone. It's just such a damn tease to find someone that seems to fit so well...but they all seem to fit at first...or at least many of them. Danny didn't, Bill didn't, but the rest...I got that painful, anxious excitement that is the feeling of my common sense dying.

Just as I lose hope, something changes, I'm thrown enough of a lifeline to keep from going completely under. I never get back on the boat, but I never entirely drown. I'm supposed to have faith. Hah. Me, faith? You might as well tell me to have a penis, because I wasn't born with one and I'm not about to spontaneously grow one. It would take work, both for me and at least one other person, for me to obtain a penis. The same goes for faith. The only big difference is that I wouldn't mind having faith. All penises in my life should be part of other people.