With the United States still being in the midst of a pandemic, state officials across most of the country have recommended staying home or flat-out banned the act of trick-or-treating this Halloween. As an Adult, I am, of course, Perfectly Fine with that.

For those who may not know, trick-or-treating is the childish act of walking door-to-door in the hopes of receiving free candy. Being a 26-year-old, I am in no way effected by its cancellation. Sure, it is the one night of the year in which delicious off-brand chocolate or – if you know where to look – mini Snickers are sitting out in mostly unobserved bowls, but why would someone like me, a grown adult, care about that?

The real victims are the children, who won’t get the joy of scrolling the aisle at Party City until they find the perfect costume. Gone is the typical affair of cul-de-sacs filled with vampires, superheroes, and masked costumes that could cover a small adult well enough that they could roam freely without any of the adults handing out candy feeling confident enough to question it. But again, with all these bills and mortgages piling up, I don’t have time to worry about such things.

Maybe next year things will be back to normal, or at least be a new normal, and we will all be able to celebrate the wonderful holiday of Halloween again. When that time comes, I urge you all, when a man comes to your door and asks for candy to give his children who inexplicably ran and hid when he hit the doorbell, believe him and load him up. I know I will, if I’m not too busy mowing the lawn.

The post As An Adult, I Am Perfectly Fine with There Being No Trick-or-Treating This Year appeared first on Robot Butt.