I was eleven when I first started learning the accordion. Determined, stubborn and a little spiteful to get first-hand lessons, my musical journey began.
It was months before I could operate it let alone play it, but soon after, I got into the swing of things.
I learned mostly by ear. Sitting in my bedroom on our kitchen chair, accordion resting on the edge, ear tilted toward my record player, listening to minute variances, trills, runs, trying my best to copy what I just heard.
I joined a band and went on to play in clubs, christenings, dances, weddings and birthday parties. I met and crossed paths with other musicians and learned and discovered more skill and knowledge. Trills and runs I didn't know.
And here's what I discovered...
I played ONLY what I was Aware of!
Let me explain.
Even though I tried my best to emulate original pieces, I could only ever copy equal to the Awareness of my musical ability at the time.
You see when I learned musical pieces, I genuinely believed I was playing exactly to the song I was learning. Only after some time, after discovering new Trills Runs, chords, and skills did I become aware that in fact, I wasn't.
I didn't have the AWARENESS.
Over my twenty years of transformational journey, the parallel in my life was similar. I lived life a certain way. I saw myself a certain way, caring, giving, descent, good. But people didn't. They saw me for who I was.
Anxious, fearful, racy, unfocused, scatty, in a toiled state that churned in the background.
I was UNAWARE.
My modus operandi was to squash any feeling I didn't like down, somewhere deep inside my subconscious, hoping it would never bother me again. But it did. Time and time again until I fell on my knees. That's when I started to pay attention.
Paying attention led me to seek and heal unattended Beliefs and patterns. Feelings that daunted me constantly. I began to heal.
That's when I became AWARE.
You see we're all Asleep to some extent, but Life gives us clues.
I've since discovered that Life has a way of telling you things if you listen. It's not that hard to figure out (anymore).
In fact, I am going to save you DECADES of struggle and pain.
YOU FEEL GREAT!
When you are centered, and in alignment with your true nature, you exude joy, pleasantness, enthusiasm, contentment, peace, ease, flow, and a heightened sense. And when you are not, you are fearful, manipulative, controlling, sad, depressed, anxious, resentful, angry....
There is no middle ground. No debate. No reasoning and no justifications. It's crystal clear.
You may not have known till now. But now you do. Your feelings are your guide, and they speak the truth of where you are.
If you are not feeling content, at ease, at peace, loving life EVERYDAY just because you are alive, then there is something out of alignment within you. You are NOT AWARE of what's going on inside you!
The good news is though, now you know.
Don't kid yourself and excuse this or anything else as some justification why things are the way they are! They aren't! You are the way you are because of YOUR beliefs and YOUR emotions. Your world is the way it is because YOU see it that way!
Feeling happy, content, joyful, centered is your Natural State!
Now, You have a choice.
Continue as you are. Or decide to awaken to everything you cannot see about yourself. Because when you do, clarity will unfold and you will see the world a different way. You will FEEL a different way.
I used to see and feel everything as complicated and difficult. And it is when you are asleep. Awakening means that you have decided to clear out all the bullshit in your life. The crap that you have taken on as fact. It means that you have decided to take responsibility and manage your mind and body so that they perform at their highest potential.
You have decided to grow and evolve into a beautiful Human Being, with an unshakeable determination to be in their natural state. Happy.
It took me 20 years. It may only take you 2. I don't know. I don't know what limiting beliefs you have decided to live by. But one thing I do know, is that there is no freedom and happiness without resolving the inner mess.
The guide is there.
The quest is yours.
Will you take it?
Or will you continue as you are?
- Sotir Ivanovski
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