Oxymoron Quotes and Sayings

Here is a collection of funny, wise and inspirational oxymoron quotes, sayings and proverbs

A blind man looks back into the future with the ear-splitting whispers of unconcealed ghosts thundering silently.
A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. — Henry Ford
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. — John Lennon
A half truth is a whole lie.
A hospital is no place to be sick. — Samuel Goldwyn
A joke is a very serious thing. — Winston Churchill
A little pain never hurt anyone.
A long time from now will be now really soon.
A man’s silence is wonderful to listen to. — Thomas Hardy
A marching band playing music at a cemetery. They’re playing music so darn loud, loud enough to wake up the dead.
‎A period of negative growth.
A person who doesn’t vote votes for the winner!
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen. — Winston Churchill
A real live ghost.
A smile is a curve that sets things straight.
A story told in silence.
A unified, neutral Germany? Given that nation’s heritage, such a phrase may prove to be the oxymoron of the decade. — Kevin M. Matarese, Fulda, West Germany; as seen in ‘Letters’, Time magazine, March 5, 1990, page 5
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. — Samuel Goldwyn
A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. ‘Just lost a shoe?’ she asked. He answered, ‘Nope, just found one’.
‎Absolutely, positively NOT!
After Donald Trump’s stretch limousine was stolen and found undamaged a few blocks away; he said, ‘Nothing was stolen. I had an honest thief.’ — International Herald Tribune, March 2, 1992, page 3
Ah, the good old times when we were so unhappy! — French Saying
Alive again in death. — Nick Brandt
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. — George Orwell, Animal Farm
All generalizations are wrong, including this one.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. — Wendell Johnson
Always be on the lookout for the obvious.
Always be sincere, even when you don’t mean it. — Irene Peter
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. — Yogi Berra
Always remember that you are unique just like everybody else.
Am gonna stay silent… I promise!
An abstention is a vote for the winner!
An Irishman is never at peace except when he’s fighting.
And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true. — Song title for Paradise Lost
Anyone who does not believe in miracles is not a realist. — Audrey Hepburn
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. — Samuel Goldwyn
Anyone who isn’t confused here doesn’t really know what’s going on.
Apparently some exercise programmes include periods of “active rest”…
Are you illiterate? Write for more information. — Seen on a flyer
As famous as the unknown soldier.
As far as I’m concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
A‎t least, we fought the good fight. — From a losing politician speech
Australia is a pretty big continent.
Bad becomes good when worse happens.
Bad is never good until worse happens.
Bad publicity is good publicity.
Be drug-free and smoke some crack. — Samuel Goldwyn
Be here Now, when you can. — Ron McIntosh
‎Be obscure clearly. — E.B. White
Be realistic: Go for the impossible! — Paulo Coelho
Be realistic: Plan for a miracle. — Osho
Be still like a mountain, and flow like a great river. — Lao Tse Tung
Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant. — Anthony J. D’Angelo
Birthing a dawn to this endless night. — from the song ‘Lies’ by Evanescence
Bookkeeper: Mr. Goldwyn, our files are bulging with paperwork we no longer need. May I have your permission to destroy all records before 1945? Goldwyn: Certainly. Just be sure to keep a copy of everything. — Samuel Goldwyn
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. — Ambrose Bierce
Buying is selling. — (used to describe face-to-face negotiation)
By definition, one divided by zero is undefined.
By learning to obey, you will know how to command. — Italian Proverb
Can’t Remember to Forget You. — Song by Shakira ft. Rihanna
Change is the only Constant.
Cheap is more expensive.
Christ was born in year 4 B.C.
Chronoscopy is the observation and exact estimation of time. — Exact estimation
Click the ‘Start’ button to Shut Down the computer.
Cold as fire, hot as ice. — Song by Britney Spears
Color television! Bah, I won’t believe it until I see it in black and white. — Samuel Goldwyn
Common sense is not so common.
Complexity is not so complex after all.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. — Winston Churchill
Cowards die many times before their deaths. — William Shakespeare
Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. — Albert Einstein
Dad, thanks for always helping me out financially so I can focus on being an independent woman.
Destroy the old files, but make copies first. — Samuel Goldwyn
Deterministic Chaos Theory
Did you hear about the rich man who said ‘I am cash poor’?
Did you hear about the two brothers who are exactly alike in their own way?
Did you hear that Johnny’s left side was chopped off? It turned out that he was “alright!”
Did you just tell me I wasn’t listening to you!
Die in Love if you want to remain alive.
Do not put statements in the negative form. And don’t start sentences with a conjunction. It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by re-reading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. De-accession euphemisms. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration. Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. — Great Rules for writing from William Safire in the New York Times
Don’t forget to remember me! — Song by Carrie Underwood
Don’t pay any attention to the critics; don’t even ignore them. — Samuel Goldwyn
Don’t worry about the war. It’s all over but the shooting. — Samuel Goldwyn
Dream but don’t sleep.
Dream your dreams with your eyes closed, but live your dreams with your eyes open.
Drinking coffee is not my cup of tea.
Drive slowly, we’re in a hurry. — Winston Churchill to his chauffeur
Drunk people taking care of drunker people. — Henry Thoreau
Each misfortune you encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow’s good luck. — Og Mandino
Early one morning, in the middle of the night, Two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf Policeman heard the noise and came to arrest the two dead boys.
Easy things don’t come easily.
Emptiness is filling me. — from the song ‘Fade to Black’ for Metallica
Even the silent pause in music is music.
Ever seen a fully clothed person in a nudist colony?
Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg. — Samuel Goldwyn
Every exit is an entry somewhere else. — Tom Stoppard
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. — Henry Thoreau
Everyone writes on the walls except me. — Said to be graffiti seen in Pompeii
Everything is so random there must be a pattern.
Everything you can imagine is real. — Pablo Picasso
Everytime I see her, it just eats me inside out.
Evil isn’t all bad.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Excuse me? I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow. — Fiyero Tiggular, Wicked musical
‎Experts are clueless. — Steve Jobs
Eyes without sight can still have vision.
Failure is moving forward.
Failure is part of the process of success. — Robert Kiyosaki
Failure is success if we learn from it. — Malcolm Forbes
Failure is the highway to success. — Og Mandino
Faith Divides Us, Death Unites Us. — Song title for Paradise Lost
Find distractors and ignore them. — One of TOEFL exam strategies
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
For you time will always wait. — from the song ‘Hide’ by Red
For your information, just answer me one question! — Samuel Goldwyn
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. — Victor Hugo
Found my cleanest dirty shirt. — from Sunday Morning Coming Down song by Johnny Cash
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
Gentlemen, for your information, I have a question to ask you. — Samuel Goldwyn
Getting dirty in the bath tub?
Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day. — Samuel Goldwyn
Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn’t go see it. — Samuel Goldwyn
God closes doors nobody can close, and opens doors nobody can open!
God hide things by putting them in front of your eyes.
Good friends make good enemies.
‎Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
Gratitude helps in “accepting denial” — A spiritual note
Green stop sign
Half of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at.
Half the lies our opponents tell about us are not true. — Sir Boyle Roche
Happiness is something that multiplies when it is divided. — Paulo Coelho
Hate That I Love You. — song by Rihanna (ft Ne-Yo)
Have you lived in this village all your life? ‘No, not yet’.
He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. — Winston Churchill
He has Van Gogh’s ear for music. — Billy Wilder
He lived his life to the end.
He talks right and runs left. — Bob Dole, on Clinton’s changing-political positions
He was dead, but he got better. — from ‘Crank: High Voltage’ movie
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. — George Bernard Shaw
Her silence was deafening.
He’s ahead of his time.
Hidden talent for public speaking — Wendell Johnson
High heels low lives. — Comedy drama movie
High rise living gets me down.
How come you did what I told you to do, when you know I don’t know what I’m talking about. — [Sherman Dreyer, quoting Samuel Goldwyn while Dreyer was later producing a syndicated T.V. show titled “Communism, R.M.E.”]
How could I have burned paradise? — song title
How many of you are single?
Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
I always advise people never to give advice. — P. G. Wodehouse
I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is much better to prophesy after the event has already taken place. — Winston Churchill
I always lie… and that’s the truth.
I always say the truth… and that’s the lie.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator.
I am a deeply superficial person. — Andy Warhol
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. — Winston Churchill
I am busy doing nothing.
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. — Jules Renard
I am offering 100% free information every day for as little as $$$ per month.
‎I am perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws, sure of my insecurities, absolute chaos.. a beautiful disaster.
‎I am perfectly imperfect.
I am realistic, I expect miracles.
I am so Clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. — Oscar Wilde
‎I am sorry, but I never apologise.
I am speechless.
I am strong yet sometimes stubborn. I am opinionated yet open-Minded. I am selfish yet love with my whole heart and soul.
‎I am sure of my insecurities.
I came for leave.
I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible. — Oscar Wilde
I can give you a definite perhaps. — Samuel Goldwyn
I can resist anything, except temptation. — Oscar Wilde
‎I cannot tolerate intolerance!
I can’t remember having a more memorable time.
I cried myself to sleep.
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.
I didn’t keep score, but it could have been twenty.
I die every day; I mean that brothers, just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. — 1 Corinthians 15:31
I disagree with unanimity.
I distinctly remember forgetting that. — Clara Barton
I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead. — Samuel Goldwyn
I failed my way to success. — Thomas Edison
I feel the numbness around.
I hate cliches because “They’re a dime a dozen”.
I hate love.
I hate people but I love gatherings. — Edna St. Vincent Millay
I hate this feeling of not knowing what I’m feeling.
I hate whiners.
I hate you as much as I love you.
I have a terrible memory. I never forget a thing. — Edith Konecky
I have a twin brother; he’s identical, but I’m not.
I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. — Gibran Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam
I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made one. — James G. Bennet
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. — Mark Twain
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. — Winston Churchill
I have nothing to say.
I have nothing to write.
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
I know that I know nothing.
I like to sleep. I like to do nothing. Nothing is my favorite kind of something. — Callan McAuliffe
I love acting. It is so much more real than life. — Oscar Wilde
I love humanity but I hate people. — Edna St. Vincent Millay
I love you… me no longer!!
I must be cruel only to be kind. — William Shakespear
I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? — Benjamin Disraeli
I never eat before breakfast. — W.C. Fields, referring to his drinking habit
I never know retirement mean such hard work. — [Mr. Miyagi – Karate Kid Part 3]
I never liked you, and I always will. — Samuel Goldwyn
I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years. — Samuel Goldwyn
I never said most of the things I said. — Yogi Berra
I only know one thing: That I know nothing. — Socrates
I paid too much for it, but its worth it. — Samuel Goldwyn
I read part of it all the way through. — Samuel Goldwyn
I revel in worrying. If I don’t worry, I suffer.
I see better when my eyes are closed, but heart is open.
I think I’m having deja vu all over again.
I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance. — Reuben Blades
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
I wake up to dream about you.
I want my fair share… and that’s all of it! — Charles G. Koch
I want to be a mystery, yet be known. I want to be together, yet alone. Is it too much to ask to be famous yet unknown? To be a wanderer, yet have a home?
I want to go where the hand of man has never set foot. — Samuel Goldwyn
I was always an independent, even when I had partners. — Samuel Goldwyn
I was always fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all. — Johnny Depp
I was comfortable inside these wounds. — from the song ‘Death of Me’ by Red
I was dying to know that…
I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now. — Bob Dylan
I wouldn’t be paranoid if everyone didn’t pick on me.
Iam lonely for something absolute, knowing it doesn’t exist, and yet I wait within the walls of myself. Outside these walls, even darkness shine more brightly.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I’d rather feel the pain than nothing at all.
If common sense is so common, why is there so many people with out it?
If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive. — Samuel Goldwyn
If I look confused it’s because I’m thinking. — Samuel Goldwyn
If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect. — Ted Turner
If it’s a classified ad, why is it publicly published?
If my father was alive to hear that, he’d turn over in his grave. — Yogi Berra
If Roosevelt was alive, he’d turn over in his grave. — Samuel Goldwyn
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.
If you don’t love, you can’t live; If you don’t live, you can’t love. — Jason Benson
If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more. — Erica Jong
If you fail to plan then you plan to fail. — Harvey Mackay
If you fall and break your legs, don’t come running to me. — Samuel Goldwyn
If you haven’t made any mistakes recently, you must be doing something wrong. — Paulo Coelho
If you understand life, you must be misinformed. — Paulo Coelho
‎If you want to get something done, give it to a busy man.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.
If you’re always right, then there is something wrong.
If you’re gonna do something wrong, do it right. — [from Friends series]
I’m broke but I’m rich.
I’m burning slow on a pale blue flame. I’m so cold, consumed and tame. — from the song ‘Fuel for the Fire’ by Ari Koivunen
I’m from the government, I’m here to help.
I’m never Wrong!!! Once I thought I was wrong… but it turned out I was mistaken.
I’m not crazy, I’m just creatively insane.
I’m not going to say, ‘I told you so’.
I’m not the type to say ‘I told you so’. — from the song ‘Goodbye For Now’ by POD
I’m perfect in my imperfections, happy in my pain, strong in my weaknesses and beautiful in my own way, cause I’m Me.
I’m proud of my humility.
‎I’m Sorry for not Regretting it!
I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
I’m willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong. — Samuel Goldwyn
In love you always win, even if you lose. — Paulo Coelho
In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees. This sudden rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; but in practice, there is.
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy. — Nora Ephron
Insanity is the only thing that keeps me sane.
Insomnia… the rest within restlessness.
It feels good to be lost in the right direction.
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. — Winston Churchill
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts. — G. B. Burgin
It is so disturbing… that it is beautiful.
It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple. — Rabindranath Tagore
It is what it isn’t.
It isn’t an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
It took two to make one.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. — Mark Twain
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. — Opening sentence of the ‘A Tale of Two Cities’
It’s a bit too expensive.
It’s a step forward although there was no progress. — President Hosni Mubarak
It’s absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities. — Samuel Goldwyn
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
It’s cold as hell outside!
It’s eight o’clock, sir! – Why the devil didn’t you tell me that before? — Overheard in hotel
It’s good to be bad.
its more along the lines of pointless hilarity but here is a good pic for just laughs
It’s not that I want to kill Lois, I just don’t want her to be alive anymore. — Stewie Griffin
It’s okay not to be okay.
It’s simply hard…
It’s wrong to be always right.
I’ve been been burning in water and drowning in flame. — from the song Under The Rose from HIM
I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. — Michael Jordan
I’ve told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
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Kill them with kindness.
Kindness is the language that the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
Let ur fingers do the walking. — Johnny Walker
Let’s be realistic and demand the impossible.
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. — Soren Kierkegaard
Life is full of uncertainties … or I could be wrong about that?
Like Always. Like Never Before. — GM Saturn Tagline
Look, it’s gone.
Lord give me patience.. right bloody now!
Losers are people who are afraid of losing. — Robert Kiyosaki
Love multiplies when it is divided. — Paulo Coelho
Love that I hate you.
Love to hate
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give a man a mask, and he will show you his true face. — Oscar Wilde
Man was predestined to have free will.
May I ask a question?
‎May the most you wish for, be the least you get. May the best times you have ever had, be the worst times you will ever see. — [An Irish Blessing]
Maybe it’s a secret publicity stunt. — from the movie Rat Race
Maybe the bitterness will make you a bit sweeter. — R.M.
Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad. — Victor Hugo
Minimum wage for a maximum loser. — from ‘The Hot Chick’ movie
Most bacteria have the decency to be microscopic. Epulopiscium fishelsoni is not among them. The newly identified one-celled macro-microorganism is a full .5 mm long, large enough to be seen with the naked eye. — Described in the current Nature, ‘It is a million times as massive as a typical bacterium.’ – Time, March 29, 1993, page 25
Most people are in favor of change, as long as they can continue to do things the same as they always have. — Bill Phillips, CEO of Body For Life
Most people don’t use their initiative because no one told them to
Moving forward in reverse. — Ozzy
My aim in life is to die young when I am very old.
My answer is “Maybe”, and that’s final…
My friends, there are no friends. — Coco Chanel
My girlfriend just curled her hair with her hair straighteners.
My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot. — Ashleigh Brilliant
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.
My taste is impeccable, even when it is bad
My unlimited credit run out.
My wife left me because she said I’m addicted to oxymorons. She was pretty ugly anyway.
Nanotechnology has been a big success!
Never say Never again! — [movie title]
News Coverage!! As news expose rather than cover events. — Henry Thoreau
Night of the Living Dead — Movie Title
‘No comment’ is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again. — Winston Churchill
No matter where you go, there you are!
No one goes to that place anymore – it’s always too crowded. — Yogi Berra
Nobody goes to Miami in the Winter. It’s too crowded. — Yogi Berra
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
Not taking risks is riskier.
Nothing is permanent but change.
Of course I can keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t keep them. — Anthony Haden-Guest
Often it is fatal to live too long. — Racine
On generosity: Empty hands are dirty hands.
On one hand, I’m indecisive; but on the other, I’m not.
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead men woke up to fight, back-to-back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot one another.
One must be cruel to be kind. — from ‘Hamlet’, by William Shakespear
One should never generalize.
One step forward. Two steps backward.
Only my insanity keeps me sane in today’s world. — Paulo Coelho
Only the dead have seen the end of war. — Plato
Only when all who surround you are different will you truly belong. — ‘Little Man Tate’ movie
Our comedies are not to be laughed at. — Samuel Goldwyn
Our similarities are different. — Dale Berra, son of Yogi
Parting is such sweet sorrow. — William Shakespeare
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
People want to change everything and, at the same time, want it all to remain the same. — Paulo Coelho, The Devil & Miss Prym
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think. — George Carlin
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Plan to be surprised. — [‘Dan in Real Life’ movie]
Please all, and you will please none. — Aesop
Please turn the lights off when youre away from home.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Private community parking lot.
Question: What is your most favorite color? Answer: Rainbow!
Reading a book gives us somewhere to go when we stay where we are. — Mason Cooley
Rear its head.
Rebel without a cause. — Movie Title
Recreation
Rehab is for quitters!
Remember the future. — Tagline for the movie
Remember what you should forget.
Reporter: You say you’ve never made a picture before? Samuel Goldwyn: Yes, but that’s our strongest weak point. — Samuel Goldwyn
Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Same old brand new excuse.
Samuel Goldwyn: What kind of dancing does Martha Graham do? Associate: Modern dancing. Samuel Goldwyn: I don’t want her then, modern dancing is so old fashioned. — Samuel Goldwyn
Science

Searching for the light under the sun!
Second Chance on a First Impression.
See the mirror in your eyes. See the truth behind the lies. — [In & Out of Love by Armin Van Buuren ft. Sharon Del Adel]
See what I am saying. — Movie Title
Seriously, you need to lighten up.
She drains me when I’m empty. — from the song Have It All from the Foo Fighters
She screams in silence. — from ‘She’ song by Green Day
She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on. — Arthur Baer, American comic and columnist
Shut up and say something. — Moe Howard
Silence is the most beautiful noise in the world. — ‘The 4th Floor’ movie
Silence is the most powerful scream.
Simplicity is not a simple thing. — Charles Chaplin
Simplicity is not that simple to achieve.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. — Leonardo da Vinci
Slow down cuz I am in a hurry — Jorge L Glez
Slow down to speed up.
So Close No Matter How Far… — from ‘Nothing Else Matters’ song by Metallica
So I say, “Live and let live.” Thatâ€s my motto. Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the m@#$%^&*! — George Carlin
So unimpressed but so in awe. Such a saint, but such a whore. So self aware, so full of shit. So indecisive so adamant. — Come Undone song by Robbie Williams
Soccer is simple, but it’s difficult to play simple.
Society & Culture
Some bachelors want a meaningful overnight relationship.
Some new beginnings come from another new beginning’s end.
Some people say that I’m superficial, but that’s just on the surface.
Some things in life are not for sale… unless for the right price. — N. Haddad
Some things need to be believed to be seen.
Sometimes the silence can be like the thunder. — Bob Dylan
Sometimes waiting is the right thing to do.
Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you’re really strangers. — Mary Tyler Moore
Sometimes, I’m not me. Sometimes, I’m someone else.
Sometimes, silence is the most important thing we can hear.
Sometimes, the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy. — from ‘Girl Interrupted’ movie
Spare no expense to save money on this one. — Samuel Goldwyn
Speak to me of love without a word.
Spontaneity is good as long as it is controlled.
Staying awake to chase a dream. — Muse (UK rock band) in their song ‘Falling Away With You’
Stop stabbing yourself in the back. — Judith Briles
Straight out of line.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. — Winston Churchill
Super-size meal with diet coke.
Take me to a place where sound and silence meet.
Talk less. Say more.
Teaching the deaf to hear.
Tell them to stand closer apart. — Samuel Goldwyn
Temper is the only thing you can’t get rid of by losing it.
Thank God I’m an Atheist.
Thanks but no thanks.
The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
‎The ability of writers to imagine what is not the self, to familiarize the strange and mystify the familiar, is the test of their power. — Toni Morrison
The A-bomb is dynamite. — Samuel Goldwyn
The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity. — Douglas Horton
The beginning is always today. — Mary Wollstonecraft
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. — W.C. Fields
‎The best defense is a good offense.
‎The best self-defense is offense.
The best way to fill time is to waste it. — Marguerite Duras
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. — Mahatma Ghandi
The brightest thunder-bolt is elicited from the darkest storm. — Charles Caleb Colton
The budget was unlimited, but I exceeded it. — Donald Trump
The building was pretty ugly and a little big for its surroundings. — Steinbeck
The clock is two minutes ahead and one hour behind.
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. — Mark Twain
The cruelest lies are often told in silence!
The end is drawing near to give way to a new beginning
The end is just the beginning!
The exception that proves the rule.
The fact that he’s dead does not prove that he’d lived. — Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
The first condition of immortality is death. — Stanislaw Lec
The first shall be last… and the last, first. — from the Bible
‎The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. — William Shakespeare
The future is now.
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. — George Bernard Shaw
The good oxymoron, to define it by a self-illustration, must be a planned inadvertency. — Wilson Follett
The green bin is for non-recyclables.
The hardest part of holding on is letting it go. — from the song ‘Goodbye For Now’ by POD
The heaviest baggage for a traveler is an empty purse.
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. — Winston Churchill
The left side is the right side and the right side is the wrong one — Movie Title
The love we give away is the only love we keep. — Elbert Hubbard
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. — Ronnie Barken
The more I know, the more I know I don’t know!
The more you know, the more you don’t know.
‎The most important things in life aren’t things.
The next time I send a damn fool for something, I go myself. — Samuel Goldwyn
The only certainty is that nothing is certain. — Pliny the Elder
The only consistency is inconsistency.
The only constant thing is change.
The only new thing in this world, is the history you did not know. — Harry Truman
The only thing I don’t Procrastinate about is Procrastination.
The other day, I saw my cat barking while the sun was freezing me up.
The right kind of wrong. — Romantic comedy movie
The Right way is the Wrong way and the Left way is the Right way. (Driving directions)
The saddest moment in a person’s life comes but once.
The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying. — Samuel Goldwyn
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
The soldiers manning the missile launcher will be unarmed.
The statement below is true. The statement above is false.
The things that bring joy come from those which bring pain.
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. — Paul Valery
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. — Herbert Spencer
The way to succeed is to double your error rate. — Thomas J. Watson
The world is full of apathy, but I don’t care.
There are no greater treasures than the little things.
There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can’t.
There are people so poor, that the only thing they have is money.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. — Friedrich Nietzsche
There is nothing more certain and unchanging than uncertainty and change. — John Fitzgerald Kennedy
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. — Salvador Dali
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one rule for being a good talker – learn to listen. — Christopher Morley
There is poison in the medicine.
There’s no such thing as non-existence.
There’s peace in the chaos. — [Seen on a snowboarding billboard near Mammoth Lakes]
There’s something wrong with you if there’s nothing wrong with you.
There’s work to be done, but make it fun.
They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. — Confucius
They say it’s not as bad as they say it is.
This love feel I, that feel no love in this. — from ‘Romeo and Juliet’, by Shakespeare
This music won’t do. There’s not enough sarcasm in it. — Samuel Goldwyn
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This report is filled with omissions.
Time won’t give me time!
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. — Troly Curtin
To be simple is to be great. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
To conquer without risk is to triumph without glory. — Pierre Corneille
To lead the people, walk behind them. — Lao-Tzu
To Live is to Die. — [song by heavy metal band Metallica]
Tomorrow starts now. — Ad campaign by Fransabank
Too bad Sponge Bob is not here to celebrate Sponge Bob not being here! — Squidward
Treat me like an angel and I’ll be your little devil.
Treat them all the same by treating them differently. — Stephen R. Covey
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it’s just the opposite. — John Kenneth Galbraith
United in diversity
Vacation with kids.
Waging war to get peace.
Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.
Walking but not moving… nowhere to go on this endless road…
walking on sunshine — Song by Katrina and the Waves
Walking up stairs gets me down.
War is diplomacy by other means. — Carl Von Clausewitz
Watching the Olympic Ice Dancers the other night doing their sensual, sexual routines was icy hot!
‎We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. — Dwight D. Eisenhower
We are not anticipating any emergencies.
We are not retreating.. we are advancing in another direction.
We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
We cover the news to reveal them.
‎We don’t know what we have until we find it. — Paulo Coelho
We had an unlimited budget and we have exceeded it.
‎We have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it… — Nancy Pelosi on health care
We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one. — Confucius
We know the truth by comparing the lies.
We love each other even when we hate each other.
We must believe in free will. We have no choice. — Isaac B. Singer
We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. — Barry Edwards
‎We need to become more unreasonable but in an intelligent way. — Governor Jerry Brown
We seek the light of truth between our white lies. — from the song ‘Sordid Lives’
We take fun seriously.
We want a story that starts out with an earthquake and works its way up to a climax. — Samuel Goldwyn
We were like strangers who knew each other very well. — from the movie ‘Big Fish’
We’re overpaying him, but he’s worth it. — Samuel Goldwyn
What did I tell you last time about not listening?
What did the California Governator call the legislaters when they disagree with him???? “Girlie men!”
‎What’s the weather like? … It’s fierce mild! — Dylan Moran
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason. — Molly McGee
When asked how to achieve success more rapidly, came the quick reply, ‘Double your failure rate’. — Thomas J. Watson, Sr.
When Darkness prevails and Silence governs the place; only then I can See and Hear everything!
When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is. — Ayn Rand
When I grow up, I wanna be a kid, Look at all the really cool things a kid can get into, ooh! When I grow up, I wanna be a kid, I wanna have some fun and stay forever young. — Toys song by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself. — Paulo Coelho
When lies turn into truth. — from the song ‘Frozen’ by Within Temptation
When people tell you how young you look, they are telling you how old you are. — Cary Grant
When told a script was full of old cliches: Let’s have some new cliches. — Samuel Goldwyn
When told his son was getting married: Thank heaven. A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man. — Samuel Goldwyn
When you are no longer growing, you are no longer alive. You become part of the living dead. — Kute Blackson
Who can hear the Silent Screams?
Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village? ‘We haven’t got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago’.
Who still watches TV on a TV anyway? — Thomas Hardy
Why are the paranoids following me?
Why don’t they make the whole airplane out of that black box stuff? — Steven Wright
Why don’t you pair’em up in threes? — Yogi Berra
Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing. — Samuel Goldwyn
Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything of nothing first create; O heavy lightness, serious vanity — Shakespeare’s Romeo
With advances in technology, truth is often stranger than science fiction!
Yesterday’s news is old news.
You always find something in the last place you look.
You are my cold sun.
You are my sweetest sin!
You are one of God’s mistakes. — from ‘Song to Say Goodbye’, Placebo
You can really see the weight loss.
You can’t drink it slow, if it’s Quick! — (A slogan by Nestle’s Quick)
You can’t get a job, unless you have experience. You can’t get an experience, unless you have a job. — (A job seeker’s dilemma)
You can’t live it down, if you don’t live it up. — on an Old Guys Rule t-shirt
You fail to overlook the crucial point. — Samuel Goldwyn
You got your momma’s taste but you got my mouth. — Ben Folds, in his song ‘Gracie’
You have to be clever to know that you’re dumb!
You have to decide even to hesitate.
You need to wake up if you want to dream. — Paulo Coelho
You non-conformists are all the same. — Muse (UK rock band) in their song
You should know I take my sarcasm very seriously.
You talk in circles when I need a straight line. — from ‘If Love is out of the Question’ song by Celine Dion
You win big when you lose right.
You Win, I Win, We Lose. — Lyrics, Kenny Chesney
You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. — Dolly Parton
You’re on my list of people that will never make any list of mine.
You’re only young forever once. — ‘Newcastle’ movie
You’re the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met. — from the movie ‘I, Robot’
You’ve no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it. — W.S. Gilbert

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