Many people search for a constant state of Happiness. A bulletproof recipe that can always lift them up.
But chasing happiness brings with it a completely different kind of beast--the avoidance of anything that is not happiness.
Trying to replicate a great time we had had in the past is something we have all done before. And whenever we try, for some reason, we never end up having that great of a time as we had the first time.
Because we want to control our experience by chasing happiness and don't just allow life to happen. Unexpected great times are common, forced great times are rare.
It's very interesting to look at this whole topic from the outside. How much we, human beings, can't stand anything other than happiness. How much we want to avoid everything else.
But there is a third state besides positive and negative--neutral. This neutral state is when nothing really happens. We are not in pain, but we are not bursting with happiness either. Most of us would be in this neutral state most of the time, but there is one problem with us humans--we can't stand Emptiness either.
Because emptiness means something is coming. Emptiness means that the space will soon be filled with something. And we desperately want that to be happiness. So the cycle continues.
When nothing's wrong, the mind creates a problem. It fills the emptiness. But why can't we just stay in this moment, whatever it is, without fearing for the next? And without wanting it to be under our control?
Because what happens when we abandon fear for what the space will be filled with and abandon Hope with it as well? We just relax. And not really care about what happens. Because we realize that trying to control it is a waste of time and energy anyway.
It's not because of our effort that happiness comes. It comes anyway. Sadness comes. Anxiety comes. Anger comes. Excitement comes. And then they go. But beneath it all, we stay. And with our steadfast calmness, we can welcome all of them and let them pass as well.
We are not our feelings, our moods. We can be the calm behind them. We don't have to be swayed by our thoughts and feelings. It's neither necessary nor possible to be happy all the time. But what can always be underneath whatever comes, is an unwavering sense of peace. That, we can always practice.
"In a nontheistic state of mind, abandoning hope is an affirmation, the beginning of the beginning. You could even put “Abandon Hope” on your refrigerator door instead of more conventional aspirations like “Everyday in everyway, I’m getting better and better.” We hold onto hope and it robs us of the present moment. If hope and fear are two different sides of the same coin, so are hopelessness and confidence. If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation." - Pema Chodron
This post first appeared on The Miracle Forest: The Zen Smile Of Mindfulness, please read the originial post: here
