Look me in the eye and say that.

Amongst accountants, lawyers, and executives, a chief cause of failure to establish credibility, create rapport, and to build trust in meetings and presentations is poor eye Communication.

Regardless of the quality of information – or the integrity of the speaker, verbal communications fail when the speaker is unable to use eye contact effectively with her or his listeners.

If trust is the "sine qua non" of a successful client relationship" then there are three issues for those who wish to overcome their disinclination to use eye contact – and learn to use eye contact as one of the powerful communication skills.

First – It's Not Your Fault. The majority of lawyers are less comfortable with eye contact than is the general population

Secondly, It's Not An Option. This is not your father's firm; the evolution of the practice of law worldwide has dramatically changed the type of personal communication skills required to be a successful lawyer.

And thirdly, There Is No Time to Waste. Eye contact is the most powerful dynamic of human interaction and communication. You can - and should - begin to utilize and develop this skill immediately.

Let me tackle these one at a time:

First, it really is not your fault; decades of research show that the characteristic personality traits of the majority lawyers are a prevalence of introversion, a lower level of sociability compared to the general population - and a strong preference to communicate in writing.

Add to that the professional requirement to be objective and "impersonal" and it is clear that most people attracted to the profession are likely to be much less comfortable with eye contact and communication at a more personal level – than professionals in the rest of the business world

That said, many lawyers, including successful trial lawyers, mediators and negotiators are amongst the finest verbal communicators in our society – and they owe much of their success to their skilful use of eye contact.

Secondly, the new market place for legal services is increasingly competitive. Consumers are far more knowledgeable and have more bargaining power than ever before. Bringing in the business in 2013 means dealing with clients "face-to-face". A Forbes Magazine survey of 750 executives in 2009 showed that 80% of business professionals still prefer to have important meetings "face to face".

When all is said and done, clients choose lawyers who they perceive as most trustworthy - and that means most lawyers looking for business have to step up their game when it comes to face-to-face communication.

How to Increase Your Effectiveness with Eye Contact.

There Are Three Levels of Eye Contact. First is "None at all", the second is "Scanning" – artificially making contact with listeners. The third is remarkably rare – it is Authentic, Fully Functioning Eye Communication. Let's do that one...

The Five Secrets to Authentic Eye Communication.

1. Silence Is Your Friend.

Remember that all verbal communication begins in silence – the entire atmosphere of your meeting or presentation will change when you make sincere eye contact with everyone before you beg.

2. It's Got to Be Real.

Do not follow the advice of "experts" – who recommend that you look at individuals for two or three seconds and then move on to another listener. This is "pretend eye contact" – audiences can tell – and chances you will feel even more self conscious. Don't settle for anything less than your natural ability to pay very close attention to people.

3. Attitude Can Change Everything.

You may not be comfortable with eye contact in a professional setting, but most speakers, addressing more than eight or 10 people, fail to use authentic eye contact. Even a slight improvement will make you better than average.

Stop thinking about using eye communication as a huge challenge; rather think of it as an amazingly powerful tool which will immediately make you a far better speaker.

4. The Master Technique.

Share your first thought with an individual in the group - and look at their face for a reaction – and then move on to the next thought and share it with another listener. After an important statement, look at several people, one at a time, in silence. It emphasizes your point more effectively than speaking loudly.

When speakers do that – when they are truly in the moment and making continuous eye contact – in order to read our response – the effect is transformational.

5. You Were Born with This Skill.

The reason that so many people can master eye communication so quickly – and why it is so transformational – is that authentic eye communication is something that you have been doing since before you could speak! "Reading" your listeners' responses from moment to moment is a skill that every child is born with – and which precedes verbal communication.

I hope you will experiment with this, beginning in "safe" presentations. When you fully experience the benefits, your use of eye contact will make you a more comfortable, more effective and trustworthy speaker.

For more training on developing a Commanding Presence, managing anxiety, and increasing your speaking skills to the same high level as your writing skills then you should attend one of our Commanding Presence Advanced Communication and Presentation Skills Two-Day workshops.

The workshop is designed to improve every aspect of personal communication skills, from strategy and text preparation to establishing rapport and overcoming speaking anxiety.

Participants are recorded 4 times with feedback from the other participants and personal coaching from the workshop coach. Each receive a USB of their video clips along with a letter of analysis from the workshop coach.

Upcoming Two-Day Workshop Dates in Toronto

Register Now. Small Group Workshops Limited to 10 Places