So I just found out I was pregnant about a week ago, now don’t even start thinking that I’m going to start ranting about how much I dislike Babies, because I LOVE babies. They are the cutest things to ever exist, and they are way too pure and adorable for this world.

Now, let me just start by saying that morning sickness is MISERABLE. I use to be able to eat three double-meat cheeseburgers, and now I can hardly eat a bowl of noodles. Depressing. Not to mention the fact that school has been wearing me out. College is too stressful for me, and it makes me mad just being on campus. I’m tired 24/7, no exaggeration. I could pass out ANYWHERE and die for three weeks and that still wouldn’t be enough. The worst part about all this is that I’m not even 3 months yet, I can’t wait to see what the rest of the 8 months brings.

The idea of raising a baby terrifies me, however I’m Excited that there will be a child that is half me, and half the person I love. Just the thought of a baby that looks like my fiancé makes my heart flutter. Ah babies, little balls of poop and vomit. Cute. I’m not excited yet, but I will be. I feel like I am too stressed out about money and college to be excited about our little jelly bean. Once we get all the money, moved into our house, and I finish school, I’ll be happy. I’m just worn out and tired. And I get quite cranky when I’m tired.

Next week is the first time I’ll be hearing our baby’s heartbeat. Bless it be that he/she is healthy. I feel the need to rant about all my worries here so that my love doesn’t start getting mad at me for being mad at the world. That’s normal right? Riiiiight. I also am excited to just hear the heartbeat for the first time. My fiancé will be working that day, so I’ll be bringing a family member with me, and I’m not even worried about that. I just need him at the real thing, and the ultrasounds. Ah, just the word “ultrasounds” brings the smell of diapers to fill my nose.

In conclusion, babies are a blessing. However, I am allowed to be stressed and angry about it.